Topic: Dating and STD's
drgnflychaser's photo
Wed 03/02/11 04:53 PM
I have seen alot in the new lately about HPV and other std's and was wondering how accepting people really are towards std's. Would you date someone that has HPV or HSV?

AndyBgood's photo
Wed 03/02/11 05:05 PM
Prolly not. At least not knowingly. Both carry some pretty dreadful consequences.

Shayna1978's photo
Wed 03/02/11 05:16 PM
I'll put it to you this way friend. I had chicken pox 4 times as a child. It stayed dormant in my system.

When I had the flu, I was somehow exposed to meningitis and I wasn't able to fight it off. It used the dormant virus to attack my spine and cause light sensitivity and blindness. Thank God that was temporary, but every time I feel a little twitchy, I have to run to the damn hospital, get a spinal tap (so fun), and get pumped full of drugs in a quarrantined room for 3-4 days.

In the last 6 months, I have been in the hospital 4 times.That is what F**king Chicken Pox can do, and its a form of HP.

I'm on a mingle site, not a dating sight because there is no pressure to meet. I don't think I would want to fall for someone and put them through that.

rlynne's photo
Wed 03/02/11 05:38 PM
What is HSV? and I know about the HPV mostly because of all the interest in the gardisil vaccine....But what most people don't know is that HPV has numerous different strands and is the same virus that causes common warts...albeit its still gross but

I still think there is too much dogma about these diseases, with due understanding due to the lack of obvious signs the person is ill....I mean really would you want to roll in the hay with some one who had recently acquired...say malaria? no you'd avoid them till they got better....but diseases that can stay dormant or have no cures..they just hang out on or in your system after you've gotten them...that takes some pretty heavy duty understanding ....understandably geesh how would you even be able to make that decision yeah I really care for you and am attracted to you but..this can't go any further because I really don't want a chronic infectious illness...how would that conversation even go down?

no photo
Wed 03/02/11 05:51 PM
What's your plan are you going to have a "screening period" or an interview before you choose to date someone? If not you have opened yourself to the posibility of dating someone with a disease. Now you are emotionally invested in them do you end the relationship the day you find out they are infected? (if the disease is permenant) What's your plan? good question though.

drgnflychaser's photo
Wed 03/02/11 05:57 PM
HSV is herpes. Its a tough decision to have to make especially if you have been involved with someone and made an emotional connection.

rlynne's photo
Wed 03/02/11 06:25 PM
and now I know what you are talking about....yay! with the immediate knee jerk reaction of..ew thats gross, no offense

but another question..what if you knew someone who had be faithful responsible and exclusive for every relationship they had and ended up with the SH** end of the bargain..because the other person brought it home....would you condemn them without consideration or would you be able to see past that, even still would that change your decision when and if that conversation (dubbed the whats your plan?) came up?

Goofball73's photo
Wed 03/02/11 07:41 PM
I was at this party a couple years back, and this girl I knew was there. Anyways, few drinks and some kissing, things were hot and heavy. And then she dropped the bomb on me. She told me that she had (has) herpes and that while she wanted to have sex with me, she had to make sure I knew that about her before it happened.

Now, this really did catch me off guard. And, it did kill the mood (for me). But I was thankful for her honesty. Really thankful. And so I told her I was uncomfortable with having sex with her. She thanked me for the honesty and we left it at that.

I felt bad because the tone I used did seem to be more "I would never touch you now that I know you have Herpes". She took it in stride, didn't get hurt. I think she did this because we are friends and she didn't want weirdness. It was weird for a bit, but we are cool now. I love that she was honest. Cause had she not been, we would have had sex (Yes. With a condom).

Shayna1978's photo
Wed 03/02/11 07:57 PM

I was at this party a couple years back, and this girl I knew was there. Anyways, few drinks and some kissing, things were hot and heavy. And then she dropped the bomb on me. She told me that she had (has) herpes and that while she wanted to have sex with me, she had to make sure I knew that about her before it happened.

Now, this really did catch me off guard. And, it did kill the mood (for me). But I was thankful for her honesty. Really thankful. And so I told her I was uncomfortable with having sex with her. She thanked me for the honesty and we left it at that.

I felt bad because the tone I used did seem to be more "I would never touch you now that I know you have Herpes". She took it in stride, didn't get hurt. I think she did this because we are friends and she didn't want weirdness. It was weird for a bit, but we are cool now. I love that she was honest. Cause had she not been, we would have had sex (Yes. With a condom).



Sounds like she was a brave chick. Glad you guys are still friends.

josie68's photo
Wed 03/02/11 08:02 PM

I have seen alot in the new lately about HPV and other std's and was wondering how accepting people really are towards std's. Would you date someone that has HPV or HSV?


Well I dont know what they are exactly, but i would think not.
I dont know why, I just wouldnt want to.

no photo
Wed 03/02/11 09:29 PM
I've actually been thinking about this sort of question before. In my line of work, I know plenty of diseases or infections that can be transmitted sexually; and a condom does not always protect you from it. And I thought, ok, if you suddenly find yourself in a relationship or one that has potential, how do you open up the subject without offending? Do you ask them for their health records before you sleep with them? I have talked to some people who acquired some because their partners never told them or they weren't aware of it themselves. It's a pretty scary thought.

GravelRidgeBoy's photo
Thu 03/03/11 12:14 AM
I know it sounds mean but I could not knowingly have sex with a girl that I knew had something like that. I try to stay healthy and I do talk about things like this before things get too far in a relationship (lol...not on a first date though...lol). It is cool when the other person is honest about these things because there are some people who do not mind, but the people who are not honest and gives the other person a disease the unknowing person will hate them for it and there are a lot of people who will come after you.

That being said, do you (generally speaking) get checked yourself just in case? I do go get checked so I know I am clean, not just think I am because I do not have any symptoms showing up...

no photo
Thu 03/03/11 01:33 AM

That being said, do you (generally speaking) get checked yourself just in case? I do go get checked so I know I am clean, not just think I am because I do not have any symptoms showing up...


In my line of work, we're required to have regular check ups and tests for everything, so yes.


s1owhand's photo
Thu 03/03/11 02:53 AM
26.8% of women in the U.S. have HPV so get your kids innoculated
both girls and boys around 10 or 11 years of age.

Fortunately the prevalence of the high risk forms of HPV targeted
by Gardasil (HPV ) was measured at only 3.4% but these strains
are definitely linked to cancer and definitely warrant the vaccine.

http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/causes/hpv/hpv-prevalence0308

despite the more recent media coverage about HPV, the prevalence of
HSV (Herpes) is also quite high especially in the african american community...

"The latest HSV-2 data – announced at CDC’s National STD Conference in Atlanta on March 9, 2010, and published today in CDC’s Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report (MMWR) – indicates that overall national HSV-2 prevalence remains high (16.2%) and that the disease continues to disproportionately burden African-Americans (39.2% prevalence), particularly black women (48.0% prevalence), who face a number of factors putting them at greater risk, including higher community prevalence and biological factors that put women of all races at greater risk for HSV-2 than men."

http://www.cdc.gov/std/herpes/herpes-NHANES-2010.htm

I would not want to be exposed to any STD personally. If a really
exceptional person came along who was being medically treated for
their STD and it could be eradicated or be managed well by medical
treatment I might consider a LTR with them. But I have never
had to confront such a situation so far in my life fortunately.

Shayna1978's photo
Thu 03/03/11 02:19 PM
Wow dude thanks for the lecture.

Dragonfly Chaser, the honest truth is that you are probably gonna hit and miss with finding someone who will be understanding about such things. If you think about it, that's the way it is for everybody, STD free or not. There is always something that will make relationships more complicated, and sometimes they don't work out.

I would suggest going out with a guy a few times, and find out if you like each other. If you think it would go as far as sex, be honest. If it doesn't work out, other fish in the sea.

mrheartfelt's photo
Thu 03/03/11 02:38 PM


I am not into STD's at all. That is a deal breaker if I find out. Health should be one's most important priority and nothing should ever compromise that.