Previous 1
Topic: Breaking Up Advice
damnitscloudy's photo
Sun 07/03/11 01:46 AM
After a great year long relationship it ended with both of us going on separate ways. Its been the longest 24 hours of my life; I keep looking at my phone and nobody has called or texted. I try not to think about her but they creep up on me. One minute I'm laughing, the other minute I'm quiet and sad. I never loved someone as much as her but now she is gone from my life for now.

So any advice on how to cope with these feelings? I try to keep busy, but then I become restless. I went for a walk and ended up walking 3 miles one way. I have no friends to call on either. So when I say I'm alone in the world now, it *really* feels like it.

thayet153's photo
Sun 07/03/11 07:00 AM
Edited by thayet153 on Sun 07/03/11 07:01 AM
First thing you can do is make some new friends. Do what you can to keep yourself busy. I always find reading and watching movies a great way to relieve my stress. Find something that you enjoy, whether it be sports, videogames,something that can keep your mind distracted. Of course my medicine is spending time with my pets, which make great friends as well.

It takes time to heal a broken heart. It'll heal and you'll feel better once it heals. I wish you the best of luck

Dan99's photo
Sun 07/03/11 07:06 AM
We all deal with things differently. I'd be getting drunk for a few days to take the edge of the worst bit and then after that hopefully things would start to be less worse.

Have you got any cash? Take yourself away somewhere.

no photo
Sun 07/03/11 12:55 PM
im dealing with the same feelings now. Try to surround yourself with people who cares about you. Accept any coffee /movie/walk invitation. Try to avoid moments where you can be alone. Avoid sentimental/slow/love songs. I tell you, it make things worst. Don't make plans for the future, just make sure you'll make it through the day, then a week. before you know it, there's less pain and healing is naturally taking its course :)

remember: This too, shall pass :)

no photo
Sun 07/03/11 01:03 PM
I found that the only thing that helped was to have something else to do. So I write a lot, read a lot, do a lot of walking, whatever I can do to make me focus on other things.

My last relationship ended 2 1/2 years ago, and I've just gotten to the point where I'm OK with the idea of not getting involved with anyone from here on out. But I realized I really don't need anyone in my life, and, to be honest, none of my past relationships were all that great anyway. In the long run, I figure I'm better off without the hassle.


newarkjw's photo
Sun 07/03/11 01:14 PM
You could get a goldfish.........smokin

ArtGurl's photo
Sun 07/03/11 06:41 PM
Hey long time no see flowerforyou

Sometimes there is only time. Try to keep yourself busy. If you don't have any friends locally, keep in touch with your online ones. Your emotions will go up and down - don't try to control it ... just flow my brotha.

damnitscloudy's photo
Sun 07/03/11 06:54 PM
I've been playing RPG games, the kind that eat up hours at a time. It helps until maybe 3 or 4am when I'm ready for sleep. Then trying to sleep is a chore of its own.

Also I've been avoiding crappy love songs and keep on blues music (XM radio is awesome). And the roller coaster of emotions just keeps going. Right now I'm ok, but in a few hours its going to be hell, then ok, then hell again. I guess thats normal.

I do think about her as well; wondering how she is doing, if shes going through the same as me or what. I do keep hope alive that we can be friends in the future, just not right now.

ArtGurl's photo
Sun 07/03/11 09:04 PM
I hope you can be friends in the future. For now, you both have your own healing journeys.

When I was newly single and in a new city where I knew no one I wrote down a bunch of things I could do on slips of paper - places I could go, things I could do - anything - learn something new, visit a gallery, a movie, dinner, learn to skate - even things I wanted to get done at home. I put them in a jar and picked one every day to do that day. It was also a backup if I found myself in that sad place.

I also found it helpful to write a lot - don't censor, don't think, in fact, write a little faster than you can think - just get it out.

Because emotion stores in connective tissue it is often helpful to move around - shake it out, go for walks, smash a pillow on the bed if you need to ... just don't be too still.

I also found water helpful and soothing ... lakes, rivers, fountains as well as baths and showers. There is something wonderful about being fully present when the water just rolls off your head.

Find the things that make you feel better and try to spend more time in that direction.

And don't worry about her and if she is going through the same process as you. She is going through her own process and it may or may not look very different from yours.

You walk your path and let her walk hers. Perhaps your paths will cross again at a time when you can be friends.

All the best!

no photo
Wed 07/06/11 09:24 PM

After a great year long relationship it ended with both of us going on separate ways. Its been the longest 24 hours of my life; I keep looking at my phone and nobody has called or texted. I try not to think about her but they creep up on me. One minute I'm laughing, the other minute I'm quiet and sad. I never loved someone as much as her but now she is gone from my life for now.

So any advice on how to cope with these feelings? I try to keep busy, but then I become restless. I went for a walk and ended up walking 3 miles one way. I have no friends to call on either. So when I say I'm alone in the world now, it *really* feels like it.


I listen to heavy metal, it helps....and when the "ex" got into my mind again..I just think of "forgive and forget" and when that don't help..I go shopping or dancing (I have no friend to share my problems); and get in shape so I stay sexy...:wink: bigsmile :tongue: really...it TLT (time love tenderness) that will help u best....be patience drinker drinks shades

izzynez's photo
Wed 07/06/11 11:21 PM
The best way to get over someone is to get under another... haha go out and have all the sex you wanted when you were in the relationship... you can also find a diff hobby to enjoy with another... stay away from being alone is a good thing until the hurt has passed... or get wasted...

Totage's photo
Wed 07/06/11 11:47 PM

After a great year long relationship it ended with both of us going on separate ways. Its been the longest 24 hours of my life; I keep looking at my phone and nobody has called or texted. I try not to think about her but they creep up on me. One minute I'm laughing, the other minute I'm quiet and sad. I never loved someone as much as her but now she is gone from my life for now.

So any advice on how to cope with these feelings? I try to keep busy, but then I become restless. I went for a walk and ended up walking 3 miles one way. I have no friends to call on either. So when I say I'm alone in the world now, it *really* feels like it.


Do you have any hobbies? What do you like to do?

EquusDancer's photo
Thu 07/07/11 09:57 AM
Chainsaw and trees. Works great for clearing out the frustration, and you can sell firewood afterwards.

mdoublejs's photo
Thu 07/07/11 08:56 PM
online gaming helps for a time , but let me tell u the pain of memories will fade but not dissapear untill you find another . one key point they i recently learned downt listen to country for at least a month maybe 2 thats what sent me over bud

s1owhand's photo
Fri 07/08/11 04:39 PM
hey damnits, sorry to hear about it - but do try to lean on the friends here if not locally. maybe road trip to visit some other
friends or sign up for some activities which will keep you preoccupied.

all the best drinker

justme659's photo
Fri 07/08/11 04:53 PM

After a great year long relationship it ended with both of us going on separate ways. Its been the longest 24 hours of my life; I keep looking at my phone and nobody has called or texted. I try not to think about her but they creep up on me. One minute I'm laughing, the other minute I'm quiet and sad. I never loved someone as much as her but now she is gone from my life for now.

So any advice on how to cope with these feelings? I try to keep busy, but then I become restless. I went for a walk and ended up walking 3 miles one way. I have no friends to call on either. So when I say I'm alone in the world now, it *really* feels like it.


Give yourself time. I know it sounds trite and stupid, but it is honest. You have to grieve. Take as much time as you need. If there are no people in your life, go to the library and borrow, Grieving for Dummies. Yes, laugh, I did, but it has some good advice. It helps you understand the steps of grief. You will have good days, bad days and worse days. They will sneak up on you. Just go with the flow. My fiance died a month after he proposed in March. I still have worse days. But they are farther apart.


RKISIT's photo
Fri 07/08/11 05:33 PM
try Zumba and use a shamwow to absorb the sweat,then go buy a Gnu,name it Gary and watch reruns of The Great Space Coaster.smokin

damnitscloudy's photo
Sun 07/10/11 03:06 AM
The biggest problem I'm having at the moment is anger towards her and jealousy because I know shes active on another dating web site. The anger is from how I never felt trusted, always kept at arms length while she wanted to be closer. Like she was pushing me away and wanting me close at the same time.

Jealousy is obvious. I don't know if shes actively dating again or not, but the voice in my head keeps saying "your being replaced you fat little ugly man!"

I was doing so good today to without thinking of her.

mdoublejs's photo
Sun 07/10/11 03:33 PM
take it day by day brothaman it will get easier with time i can 99.8 percent guarantee it, it wont happen over night just give it time make some friends to take mind to new places, plus everthings better with a guarantee

dacrmn's photo
Sun 07/10/11 03:55 PM
At least it was only a year. I spent 28 years with mine and married to him for 21 years when he announced he wanted me to leave and was having a relationship with this gal that lived just 5 doors down for 6 years. It really hurts to be in love with someone just for them to tell you they NEVER loved you your whole 28 years. I try to stay busy but its very hard, at least the tears only flow about once a week now.

Previous 1