Many of you know me. You know, I’ve been out here a while doing the meeting and dating and relationship thing. In that time I’ve had some experiences… boy!...have I had some experiences!

I’ve had the first dates from hell, anywhere where folks looking nothing their pics or showing up without their false teeth, instead carrying them in their pocket, or showing up in a vehicle that has more fast food bags and old French fries in it than McDonalds.

I’ve had 3 relationships, all 3 where I was the one who had to relocate and give up many of my belongings. The first, the gentleman had a 21-year-old daughter who decided she longer wanted to reside with her mom and came and live with ‘daddy’ and me. She was with us 2-1/2 years and spent most of it in her room. She did not work, did not go to school, did not clean her room, or help around the house, and expected her dad and I to pay all her expenses, and daddy was a big enabler. I did not expect or even want her to regard me as a mother figure, but I did not expect to be treated like a maid.

The second was a con man, plain and simple, which I did not discover until I moved in with him. The relationship ended when he found I did not make as much money as he thought, and wasn’t going to bail him out of his financial mess.

The last, all peaches and cream the first 8 months, but shortly after we moved in together, his explosive temper emerged, all intimacy stopped. He was a widower and I discovered from his family I was just another in a long line of women who did not measure up to his deceased wife.

So, I’m back here in first date, meet and greet land again and encountering the same kind of nightmares.

I work at home, but that does not mean I am able or ready at a moment’s notice to cease my work for you to “pop-in for quick visit” meet and greet. First, my work ethic and ability to pay my bills outweighs my desire to meet any of you. Second, I do not hop out of bed showered, with every hair in place and make-up applied. I’m a girl, that in itself dictates it’s going to take me more than 15 minutes to get ready. Unlike, some of you guys, I’m going to do more than splash on a bit of after shave, and pull my cleanest flannel shirt from the hamper.

Another thing I’ve encountered, because I don’t drive, is the assumption that I should be grateful and/or am obligated somehow because you drove to make the meeting that I’m going to hop into bed with you on the first date. Some of you guys profess to want old fashioned girls, yet expect us to act like hookers.

The latest thing I’ve encountered is a gentleman asking if we can get together that evening, but his son may have a basketball game that he and his ex always attend together, so he’ll have to let me know. For me, if you son’s games are important to you, you dam well know his game schedule and if not, then you find out for sure before you make plans with me. I’m not going to the trouble of preparing for a meeting that may not take place, and I’m not going to sit by the phone waiting to see if you can fit me into your plans. My time is important too, and I would rather not feel like I’m being ‘penciled in’.

I never use to get folks who said they were happier being single...now, I'm beginning to get it.

I apologize for the length of this. Not only did I need to vent, but I wanted to put it out there for all those folks who wonder why they can’t find and keep good partners. Women are just as guilty at some of these things and more. If any of you recognize yourself in any of these scenarios…therein lies your answer as to “Why.”

Hi Robin!!! Sorry things didn't work out.

Hi MM

I feel you on a lot of what you said. I think I stay just for the forum. Every guy I've encountered on this site has just been a bust. Some kind of emotional hangup are something wrong with them.

Wow wow wow.

I've been married twice and I used to date, and I've had some strange ones too.

I cringe when I meet a man who thinks a woman can be ready for a date in 10 minutes or half an hour, as if she is sitting home breathlessly waiting for him to call.

I can't stand lazy ungrateful self absorbed teenagers who think they are doing you a by favor letting you support them.

I can't stand men who hook up with a woman for a servant and a place to stay and expect them to support them or their bad habits, or men who think they can borrow money from you if they live with you.

That's why I make my own rules in my private life and in my business life. And I think everyone should.

Good for you. Don't take any crap. My advice... STAY SINGLE.

I am sorry you have been caught up in this format of dating nuts..

As I really think that we have to put ourselves out there for this abuse,,as to find a real center gravity for us to know as TRUTH..
Your last one here is just way to expecting of YOU to even think about,,to do,,IF he has to have his EX with him,,then HE DOESN'T NEED YOU as a date to witness ANYTHING WITH HIM,,and HER THERE,,Thats like PLEASE???..
I know some men might rush their thoughts as for you getting ready,,but most of the ones I know,,would have no problems at all giving you enough time to do whatever you needed to do before they picked you up..
I have met nuts,,,and also the good oneswho are true..
And I am glad you showed others here SOME of what they to might have to go through to have a date on here...
I hope your romance and dates become better as time goes on here.
hugs,,,,

^ What he said

Men have their share of nightmares too.

I responded to a woman's letter once and she screamed (capitals) at me cuz I was responding to her letter. Ergo, I spent all my time on the internet.

No, I like going places too. I only spend time on the internet because I don't have a partner. But if someone is that ballastic, forget it!

I absolutely know this behavior and more women are capable of too. This is not a man bashing post. It's heads-up, get your **** together, have your priorities in the right place, be sure of what you want before you go turning some else's life upside down.

I'm not at all bitter. I am disapponted in some of my human counterparts, and weary and have more than few battle scars. I have freely given my heart, been willing to seek what I want and compromise when needed because I think anything less you're short changing yourself and whomever you're getting involved with, and despite everyting, I still believe that.

My failed experiences are not because I wasn't honest and willing, it's because other folks weren't. Dating and meeting has just taken on so many changes, and some folks have not only blurred the line of decency, but completely stepped right over it Some where along the way folks have forgotten these are real people, with real lives, real hearts, and real, life changing consequences for your actions.

Never in a million years would I have thought it would be so difficult, cost so much, just to be in love.

First of all welcome back Robin sorry it was on these terms.....

Take a breather relax and set your own rules and stand by them. Don't bend to the point of breaking just to please someone that only ends up being a taker....

Myself I had quit looking as far as the internet goes. Seems that many of those I met were sort of like the ones you were meeting...

Well at least they had their own teeth as far as I know but had one show up with no hair and the pic he text to me he had a head full of hair.. Seems it was a toupee he had on.. And yes I did ask him on the date WTF happen to his hair..

Finally said the heck with it and decided if I met someone it was going to have to be out somewhere face to face the old way.. Ended up meeting someone at Applebee's where I use to go at least once a week to get something to eat and drink a few...

I enjoy the friends I have met here and the forums....which keeps me here.

Again good to see you again hope everything works out for you.

It didn't sound like you were men bashing. I guess I posted wrong if that's how you took it. I thought it was about dream dates from H****. Now see what you've done, you shook me up so badly I don't know how to spell H****!

I think some dating and relationship experiences are so outlandish a person could write a book about them. Although they are a nightmare at the time, you could make the book into a comedy.

2nd this one. Especially the bolded.

Lilbug; I can relate to what you are saying. I have horror stories of dating myself but the worse one left me a life long neck injury. I can understand where you are coming from. As for getting ready at a moment's notice or dropping everything for that person; it just shows that person has no respect for you so certainly not worth your time. Like most people here I am just for the forums. Sorry you had to go through all this crap but as I said I can relate.

I guess many of us have had our bad dates and relationships. My hope is that those folks who are guilty of this deplorable behavior will see the harm they are doing and knock it off.

I find it a pretty sad and pathetic state of affairs to have to endure any kind of abuse in order to find a companion. What I know for sure is there are far too many lonely, loving hearts in this world who have decided to give up and just live alone because of their experiences. There's just a point when you've had enough. To think we our doing this to one another saddens me.

I know it shouldn't be this difficult and falling in love should be one of the best experiences of one's life, not something you fear. I don't know, I sometimes feel my ideals are a little too old fashioned, a little too simplistic for the complexities of the world today.

I appreciate everyone's thoughts and I am sorry for those of you who have also endured any of this useless, unnecessary crap. I'm doing well and immensely enjoying the peace of being on my own again.

Ya know I have felt the same way that most here have as far as the dating pool goes....Seems the more I tried to give the more some decided they wanted to take.

To many times I thought the more I gave things would work out...But ya know I have finally decided that I'm going to find someone that I enjoy being with instead of the love part. Figured if that is meant to happen it will grow within time...

George Strait came out with a song that says it all for me.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ALdBczzuz0

From now on I'm going to hang with them while the times are good. When the good times leave it is time for them to leave as well..

I'm not one that will move for anyone....I own my own home therefore if they move in with me when it is over they can hit the door... I will help them pack their bags.

I guarantee the one that is with me now has been told this up front. I will still give all I can but if they take advantage of my giving and start taking with no concern of my feelings then it is time for them to move on..

Who knows what tomorrow will bring...Life is to short to have someone take advantage of you. I do enjoy the companionship of another, but it is not worth it if they do not appreciate what is before them....

I have just had a good friend, a man, tell me why I'll probably always be overlooked. I don't think he meant to hurt me, but maybe the truth hurts.

He told me that I am so nice that men think of me more as a "mom" or "sister" figure. I am someone they will feel comfortable in going to for advice, and to rant a bit about some girl.

It seems that I fit into the friend when needed catagory. You know, invisable until they need advice, or a kind word or two. He then made it worse by telling me that I am kind of pretty but that since I am not what guys think is sexy, they pass me by.


WOW. So now I know. I guess it's a good thing I'm not looking...

Honestly Mac,,be greatful you have NOT been put through all this...It makes ya want to go bury your head in the sand and never date...YOU have MUCH going for you,,and your also able to read past chit,,and know it as seen..Your heart, body and mind,,will be one man's great find,,just know he'll knock,,,when the doors open,,lol
Love ya girl