oh daleray, will you marry me?

If they run, they run. Kids and animals are both great character meters. Besides, I'd rather have somebody run sooner than later.

Awwwwwwww


Thanks Viva....

I'm just an Average Guy....

I am very up front about the fact I have a son, granted he is now 19, but that doesn't matter...he is still a part of me and always will be a part of my life..if they cannot accept that then they are simply not worthy of any of my attentions.

Yes, some guys don,t want the combo meal, but yes always be upfront about your kids!

never keep you having a family secret.. they should come first to by the way..

Always be honest, if he isn't willing to accept your children, then do you really want him in your life?

No matter what their age may be your children will always be part of your life.

thats like me saying should I tell her I have a wife

i always tell everyone i have a son.. if they dont accept that fact that i dont accept them.. if it doesnt bother them .. then i can accept them.. its best to be honest in the beginning cause if you dont and they find out later.. they may be hurt that you never told them in the first place..

I think that is some that needs to be talked about up front.

I can say from a female stand point. I would prefer to date someone that has no kids.

The main reason is the ex factor.

I am not saying your a not a good person. But think about what your talking about. You have kids. You are on a date with someone that has no kids. The 2 of you are at differnet points in your life. Another reason some men may think that you are looking for a daddy. Maybe that person your on a date with doesnt want to have kids.

yeah i tell them i have 3 boys...i can't hide them forever..lol

thank yal very much... advice has been very helpful...

personally, i would perfer someone with children or that might be interested in adding one more or someone that would want to start a family.
I'm just not ready to be the Empty Nest type or someone Travel Companion.

On my last marriage my wife had four kids. The oldest girl wouldn't call me daddy but she was 26. I guess I really couldn't hold it against her. The oldest girl's two daughters and two sons did call me grandpa, though so that was sweet. My wife's next older son was 25 and I didn't have any problems with but he was in prison. His two boys and me got along ok. Her next older son was 24. He did call me daddy. We were as close as two peas in a pod. His little daughter thought the world of me. But my wife's younger daughter was 17. She told me flat out there was no way in hell that she was calling me daddy and really never did talk to me but sneered ever time she saw me. It took some time to get to know her. After her daughter took to me she finally relented. The only real trouble I had to deal with all four of the kids was the way they were treated by their real dads before me and they because the way they were treated before made me have to prove myself to them. Sometimes one can step into a troubled family but still it can be done. What helped me was remembering how eventually took to my stepfather growing up.

I think that telling a person , you have is kids is only a small part of the picture. My step deaughter was 4 when I met her. We got along fine until I married her mother. She, with the help of her mother, made my life miserable for my entire marriage (23 Years) The girl by herself wasn't a bad girl and I admit I was a brand new parent, so I needed to learn alot fast. Her mother enabled her daughter, so that much that she had as much say about anything as I did. Imagine a teen having that much power! Knowing that they were inseperable, even when it came to "our" kids only made things worse. her guilt for taking her daughter away from her father, drove the process onward. Kids are great!!!! its the relationship between the mom and her kids that needs watching. Or I suppose the relationship between the father and his kids. If the "kids are all I've got" comes up, stop and think about what that really means!!

I think that would just come up in the course of conversation while you are getting to know each other, before either of you know if you want to date each other. As in, "The time my daughter burned my house down. . ." or "My son is up for parole this week!" Just kidding.

I did say that we got along until after the wedding!

sorry river girl i thought it was directed at me.... i see that it is not. "good thoughts"

Hey there Ms.Trueokie2,

Most definitely be upfront about having kids!!

If the fella runs; consider yourself lucky...you found out quickly that he wasn't the one for you!

Better now than later..know what I mean??

no, it just happened to be after your post.