When you both reach your destination (each other), it should not matter

I think a better question is, what does a "partner" mean to them?

Exactly, The consensus on Mingle is the past is 'unimportant information, the here and now is what is real'.

it's how he deals with his relationship right now .. and as long as other are in the past that should not make any difference . his past and your past brought you both to where you are now ..

i would just hope that its not a game between her and her friends to see who can have the most...i think if u discuss that part of ur life as if it was a battle against others to prove something then you not to serious about it to begin with. Just one mans thoughts..

I think past patterns do matter

they arent ALWAYS representative of what to expect, but they usually are especially if they have continued into recent times


for instance, I would red flag anyone who had a past of infidelity,,good chance they wouldnt consider monogamy important with me either


I would red flag anyone with children they didnt take care of, good chance that they find it easy to walk away from other commitments and responsibilities too

I would also red flag anyone who had a plethera of past lovers, good chance they dont consider sex with the same seriousness as I do,,,,,


none of that should play into liking people, but it is certainly a reflection on patterns and character we can look for in our own relationship with that person,,,

Did they count lapdances?

Truth.....

If ya count OUT everyone who has a past......

Its like fishin in the bath tub!!!

If a guy immediately hits me with questions about past lovers, relationships, marriages it tells me way more about him then my "statistics" would or could reveal about me and the woman I am today.....

it's the tings in your past that make you the person you are today . good bad or indefferent .. it's still a learning curve..

High number of partners means I also want test reaults, SSN#, credit check....her latest high score online for Call Of Duty.....you know....the norm.

lol.

1

I don;t gauge things that way - I figure at my age most men I meet will have had other partners, wives even

I would not even consider asking someone that - it is none of my business

it's how he treats you here and now .does he give it his all to be the person you desire to be with ..

exactly

and also, as a woman, how I would like to be viewed - in the "here & now"

even tho my past isn't all that bad & I am basically the same person, it is what I do now in the relationship that matters - I have learned from my past

that is a valuable thing

I have no business nosing into any male's past love life. If he brang it up, I'd listen to him, but why go fishing into his past like that? No not me. One of my aunt's though, is the total opposite. She tries to meddle in everyone's private lives. I just sometimes wanna choke from the embarrassment of it when she does that. She can be quite self-centred and obnoxious. I think it's their prerogative to tell me or not.

i can see a medical reason that needs to be brought to the front of any relationship for obvious reasons .. and you can make your decisions from there .. but just a normal past it should stay there .. you both found your place together and make it the best it can be without dragging the old baggage out of the closet.. new relationships have enough to worry about without those things ..

I think the "number" convo should be avoided at all costs .... sadly it seems to come up in a lot of relationships eventually but if you care about the other person you should be able to look past your own insecurities and make it work :shrug: ... just my take