If u are in a relationship that u know is gradually going down the drain, what is wrong with finding someone else before u break up with them?

nothing is wrong with finding someone else while you are still in a relationship, if you are that selfish. if the ship is sinking, you can start bailing water or abandon ship, but you don't do both at the same time. make a commitment, either to the relationship or to your search. i guarantee i guarantee that multitasking is not something you want to do with relationships

(bulldog double guarantee - patent pending)

Wow....

What would be the point of hanging onto one while looking for another? That could be taken as wanting your cake and eating it too.

It's also not very fair to keep her out of the loop when making a decision this big. Doesn't she deserve the right to move on too if it's over?

{little head thinking for the big one...
...typical}

@1CYNDERELLA
What would be the point of hanging onto one while looking for another? That could be taken as wanting your cake and eating it too.

It's also not very fair to keep her out of the loop when making a decision this big. Doesn't she deserve the right to move on too if it's over?

if u are in a losing relationship then that means that u have already tried to make things work. But for me at the end of the day I hate being alone and i do not carry baggage to the next relationship. Everybody out here are not weak minded and sit around and mope about a lost relationship that u did all u could to save it. And if u are about to leave someone for all the right reasons, are u responsible to have to tell them if they should find someone else?

Looks like you're gonna have to find a woman who doesn't mind you being in a relationship while you see other's. I don't see why the woman can't do the same right back at you. You get what you dish out. Even if you cheat just once, it's enough. You can't cheat on someone and then complain that you may never find yourself another woman. That's karma for ya. You get what you give. It's a dog-eat-dog world. I can't ever take a cheater seriously.

you are da man my friend! right on!

again

I don't believe in moping around about a lost relationship either. For me, that's not the point of being alone at all. Personally, I like a period of self reflection between relationships to concentrate on myself and my own needs before inviting someone else into my life. But that's just me. Everyone has their own comfort level and does their own thang...and that's cool.

But don't you think you will hurt her more to break up with her over a new girlfriend you find than to just tell her now that it's not working out between you and you feel it's time to move on with your separate lives? You once cared for her enough to have been in a relationship with her...can her feelings matter so little to you now?

this is after the love has been lost, i am not speaking of while u are in love with someone. i will NOT cheat on a woman that i am in a serious relationship with, i am not a cheater. Let me ask u a question dear, "how do "u" move on from "your" relationships that actually ended?"

It's incredibly selfish and says a lot about your personal character and moral compass to continue in a relationship that you have no love or passion for the other person. If the love is gone, if there is no future for you with that person then be a good human being and end it.

And yet, while it is selfish many people do exactly what the OP is asking about.

What's wrong with it?

Do you really want to know?

Nothing, as long as you tell your current significant other that you are looking for a replacement.

That way, it is fair. He/she can do the same.

If you don't do that, then its CHEATING AND LYING and leading someone on.

Can't you learn to stand on your own, or must you swing from one vine to another??

THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT LESS DISHONEST.

Did I say it did? Nope! I was pointing out that it is happening and it is something that A LOT of people are doing.

So what your point??

even if others are doing what many suggest in replacing a partner love or not, that person is still technically classed as a partner and don't forget if you have been deeply intimate with this person they will observe your changes in behavior/times/speech/body language.

women are not stupid mate they notice,if you are no longer interested in that person you should end it and save them from finding out the hard way, not to mention the fact that in essence by trying to be with someone you have not thought about "what if?". for example if this new person finds out you are still involved with your old partner what kind of foundation of trust is that to build on with this new person?

even worse at that point if you turn around and say that you are just with them without love, then this new person is going to assume you would be willing to do the same to them.

its not a good move for you in either way mate, my suggestion would be to be completely open and honest, and then if you see this person again in the future which is possible, they will remember the fact you both came to an end in a decent manner.

best suggestion i can give is put yourself in their position and ask what would you prefer them to do? how would you feel to know they was involved with someone else but keeping you around to use you? its alot of hurt for both sides.

That's what my ex did. Man that sucked.

You mean to tell me I have to have a point on this site? When the hell did that rule come into effect?

Monkeys grab on to one branch before letting go of the other