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Topic: 2nd Chances
no photo
Fri 12/13/13 06:28 AM
Do you give second chances? When do you and where do you draw the line and say "no?"

I tend to look at it from a "how will this benefit me?" standpoint, myself. If it will benefit me, I will give second chances.....and third :)

I am referring mostly to relationship issues, but really in a more general sense as well.

larsson71's photo
Fri 12/13/13 06:36 AM
Only when the person deserves a 2nd chance and never a third one! Don't let people walk over me, or take any crap. That's all !

emz95's photo
Fri 12/13/13 06:50 AM
depends on what they did .. if it was really bad but u sorta want to give them a chance get them to give u a reason why u should give them a second chance .. never give a third .. u will only regret it

no photo
Fri 12/13/13 06:58 AM

Only when the person deserves a 2nd chance and never a third one! Don't let people walk over me, or take any crap. That's all !


"don;t take any crap" what does that mean? it gives the impression that you are a "my way or the highway" type pf person.....generally people like that know the highway well....because we cannot control others.

Do you ever examine this choice from a viewpoint of whether another chance will benefit you?

no photo
Fri 12/13/13 07:00 AM

depends on what they did .. if it was really bad but u sorta want to give them a chance get them to give u a reason why u should give them a second chance .. never give a third .. u will only regret it


IDK I think it does depend on what it was....if it someone who is habitually 10-15 minutes late, I would probably give them more chances than someone who broke my trust.

cha7385's photo
Fri 12/13/13 07:16 AM
they say everyone deserve second chances.. but i totally disagree.. it'll all depends on the damage done by that person.. there are instances that what was done is forgivable and u give chance to that person coz at the back of your head or ur heart they might change. sometimes we have to be cautious in giving that second chance its like a choice to be happy or continue to feel miserable.

msharmony's photo
Fri 12/13/13 07:20 AM
Edited by msharmony on Fri 12/13/13 07:21 AM

Do you give second chances? When do you and where do you draw the line and say "no?"

I tend to look at it from a "how will this benefit me?" standpoint, myself. If it will benefit me, I will give second chances.....and third :)

I am referring mostly to relationship issues, but really in a more general sense as well.



absolutely, I expect perfection from no one

I do have to sense a true remorse though, or else the odds of it not happening again become unlikely...

example, when my first husband jumped on me and sent me to the hospital,, after some time, we talked and I knew he felt very ashamed,, he agreed to go to counseling and I never regretted giving him that second chance, and never was struck by him again

however, when he started to see other women, he would say he was sorry, but I never sensed it was genuine until I actually LEFT

I still don't regret giving him the second chance though, to be honest, we still had far more good times than bad,, I just couldn't risk catching illness, dealing with outside kids, growing to hate my husband, or setting such a sad example of what marriage should be for our son



lionsbrew's photo
Fri 12/13/13 07:37 AM
I've reacted differently before. A few I have just strait up cut off when my loyalty was betrayed....Others I gave chance after chance to cause my heart and body wouldn't listen to my brain. I don't feel like regurgitating all the bad memories to try and remember what was going through my head at the time. That will just leave a bad taste in my mouth. It was in the past. So to make a short story long. I think it would depend entirely on the person and the circumstances.laugh smokin

larsson71's photo
Fri 12/13/13 07:45 AM


Only when the person deserves a 2nd chance and never a third one! Don't let people walk over me, or take any crap. That's all !


"don;t take any crap" what does that mean? it gives the impression that you are a "my way or the highway" type pf person.....generally people like that know the highway well....because we cannot control others.

Do you ever examine this choice from a viewpoint of whether another chance will benefit you?
No it doesn't mean ' my way or the highway ' What it means is when somebody tries to take the p*ss! You jumped the gun and thought that way? All I was saying I won't let anybody treat me as a doormat. You keep giving people chance after chance though, that's what you'll end up as?

teebee79's photo
Fri 12/13/13 07:59 AM
I use to give second and third chances, but people have been screwing me over too much... SO NO .. not anymore :angry:

A female, I considered like a sister, screwed me over when I was trying to HELP her out! This was the final straw.

I'm the same person, where I will help anyone if I can... I was raised that way.
But... if you stab me in the back to impress someone else, or make things easier for yourself.

IT'S A WRAP waving You and I are no longer friends or enemies..
We are nothing indifferent

no photo
Fri 12/13/13 09:00 AM
Edited by KiK2me on Fri 12/13/13 09:16 AM
{WELCOME}

I'm a doormat...

ohwell


no photo
Fri 12/13/13 09:17 AM
Edited by realcarebear on Fri 12/13/13 09:18 AM

{WELCOME}

I'm a doormat...

ohwell





me too!

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Fri 12/13/13 09:19 AM
Difficult thing with these situations can be:
Are you being the doormat or do you feel you are? Not the same thing and sometimes very difficult which of these two is at play, esp if you're emotionally involved.
It can also happen that you start to feel like a doormat, because other ppl (friends, family) say stuff like "what, you let him/her do that to you?" so you start feeling guilty and stupid for not standing up for yourself, while in actual fact you weren't begin used at all.

luvmeforlife's photo
Fri 12/13/13 09:33 AM
Sometimes there's a 3rd chance then a 100th chance. I guess it depends on the situation and whether you want to work it out or call it a loss and move on.

no photo
Fri 12/13/13 11:01 AM

Do you give second chances? When do you and where do you draw the line and say "no?"

I tend to look at it from a "how will this benefit me?" standpoint, myself. If it will benefit me, I will give second chances.....and third :)

I am referring mostly to relationship issues, but really in a more general sense as well.


I agree with what someone else said earlier, it depends on what they did and how serious it was. And I agree with what you said, if it will benefit me, sure, if not, no. If I'm not really getting what I want from the relationship, why bother?

no photo
Fri 12/13/13 11:09 AM
I'm not perfect and definitely make mistakes, so yeah, I believe in 2nd chances and more.

I guess it depends on the situation, the relationship and how far along it is, the severity of the offense/wrong, if he admitted it or not, and if he was truly sorry or if he acts like it never happened.

And sometimes my heart just refuses to listen to my head! :heart:

Also, sometimes we hurt others and don't know it and vice versa so I try to believe the best...flowerforyou

no photo
Fri 12/13/13 12:37 PM
I not only give them, I have been known to ask for my share too...Who is perfect, who does not make mistakes?...I think there is a huge difference between giving a person a second (or more) chance and being a doormat..

Goofball73's photo
Fri 12/13/13 05:56 PM
It has been my experience that when you really love and care for someone then you will give that person those second and third...and fourth...and so on chances. I have given my fair share and have also been given my fair share too. I guess you just take these things on a case by case basis. Love will make you do things like that.

Gossipmpm's photo
Fri 12/13/13 05:58 PM
i will give you a 2nd chance if ya hand me your credit card........


everyone deserves a 2nd chance:heart:

no photo
Fri 12/13/13 08:46 PM
flowerforyou


Do you give second chances? When do you and where do you draw the line and say "no?"

I tend to look at it from a "how will this benefit me?" standpoint, myself. If it will benefit me, I will give second chances.....and third :)

I am referring mostly to relationship issues, but really in a more general sense as well.



absolutely, I expect perfection from no one

I do have to sense a true remorse though, or else the odds of it not happening again become unlikely...

example, when my first husband jumped on me and sent me to the hospital,, after some time, we talked and I knew he felt very ashamed,, he agreed to go to counseling and I never regretted giving him that second chance, and never was struck by him again

however, when he started to see other women, he would say he was sorry, but I never sensed it was genuine until I actually LEFT

I still don't regret giving him the second chance though, to be honest, we still had far more good times than bad,, I just couldn't risk catching illness, dealing with outside kids, growing to hate my husband, or setting such a sad example of what marriage should be for our son





these are words I will listen to. a second chanc,e and a time when there were too many chances to count; wasted. Love does not count the chances but it does know when no more can be given.

Thank you for this wisdom ms harmony

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