Topic: separated.. how do I start again?
no photo
Sat 12/07/13 08:37 PM

My ex called it quits after a 15 year relationship. How do I start seeing other women without any practice? I'm a shy guy, and confrontation isn't one of my strengths. All input greatly appreciated.


your picture really does not support the whole shyness claim. Thinks I "this one will be fine."

Take a little time to bond with the buds and get drunk.... wear disclaimer on your shirt for any women you meet during this grieving period. It could say something like: "Beware Ima accident waiting to happen." "Rebound Man"

that seems fair :)flowerforyou

no photo
Sat 12/07/13 08:41 PM
Edited by sweetestgirl11 on Sat 12/07/13 08:43 PM


**Way to go, you just really helped the situation, pfff ...
You got it of your chest, now you dumped it on her plate, got her upset in the process, created ill feelings between the two of you, ad worst of it all, your kids will suffer because of it.
Well done!
Next time you might want to think about other ppl's feelings, especially those of your innocent kids, and go to the woods to scream. Or beat up a punch bag.**


umm.. before you say this is MY fault, she wanted out, remember.
She wanted to "live".
I was living, until that day.
The last 3 weeks have been a $hit storm of emotions, fighting, arguing etc.
Old feelings towards her, ill feelings towards 'the guy' and myself.
It was going to happen, so I chose to get it out of the way.
She had stated that there was a 'non sugar coated' version of her reasons for calling it quits.
I went in to see if there was any chance of getting back.
ahhhh...no... no sugar on this version.
so.. I accelerated the inevitable.
better to get it out of the way now, than wait 12 months and have that time to cool down before finally closing the curtains.


*******************************************************************
oh geez...you blew it majorly dude mini

my friend when it comes to child custody possession is 9/10 and ANYTHING you do that displays potentially violent , angry , or confrontational behavior could make it hard for you to get visitation. Get it under control kiddo

beauty314's photo
Sat 12/07/13 09:45 PM
Wow..
When kids are involved, you have to stop acting like one.
For the kids sake, you should have no intimate relationships for at least a year and therapy wouldn't be a bad idea.
If you're going to act like a whack job, for gods sake man don't leave a video, audio, or text record of it.
You sound like the guy who would blabble about his ex through an entire first date. A desperate, sick chick would go for that. A healthy one would not.

no photo
Sat 12/07/13 09:53 PM

Wow..
When kids are involved, you have to stop acting like one.
For the kids sake, you should have no intimate relationships for at least a year and therapy wouldn't be a bad idea.
If you're going to act like a whack job, for gods sake man don't leave a video, audio, or text record of it.
You sound like the guy who would blabble about his ex through an entire first date. A desperate, sick chick would go for that. A healthy one would not.


wow I thought I was harsh,lol

but I think you do make a good point in that he sounds like he needs some recupe time

no photo
Mon 12/09/13 08:07 AM
Hi again all.
I've read and re-read all of your posts and taken each one into consideration.
The argument we had last week did us both a lot of good actually.
We both know that what we were arguing about was dredged up crap from the past.
We have forgiven each other for the words and actions that were said and done.
We are still talking, there is no malice towards each other, although, if one of us does say something wrong, the other will give a less than happy face/body expression. LOL!

Oh by the way:
1: I'm not a whack job :P
2: I am slowly coming out of my shell.

Thanks for all the advice!

mightymoe's photo
Mon 12/09/13 09:37 AM
Edited by mightymoe on Mon 12/09/13 09:38 AM


remember, people are posting their opinions for you... even if you don't agree, you shouldn't be mad at them...


Nah, you have to remember, we're not here to give opinions, we're here to give validation.

I keep forgetting, that's why I gave an opinion. Oh well....drinks


lol, thats why i try to stay out of these "they left me" posts... we only hear one side, and most expect validation... it sounds like we might be hearing about this one on the news soon...

Goofball73's photo
Mon 12/09/13 05:09 PM

My ex called it quits after a 15 year relationship. How do I start seeing other women without any practice? I'm a shy guy, and confrontation isn't one of my strengths. All input greatly appreciated.


Whip it out and then ask her about the weather = best ice breaker ever!

teebee79's photo
Mon 12/09/13 05:24 PM


My ex called it quits after a 15 year relationship. How do I start seeing other women without any practice? I'm a shy guy, and confrontation isn't one of my strengths. All input greatly appreciated.


Whip it out and then ask her about the weather = best ice breaker ever!

You are gonna land this guy on the sex offender list!!laugh laugh

Goofball73's photo
Tue 12/10/13 05:34 PM



My ex called it quits after a 15 year relationship. How do I start seeing other women without any practice? I'm a shy guy, and confrontation isn't one of my strengths. All input greatly appreciated.


Whip it out and then ask her about the weather = best ice breaker ever!

You are gonna land this guy on the sex offender list!!laugh laugh


Oh come on. You ladies always say you want honesty from guys right? Well.....I mean....this is as honest as it gets yo. laugh

mamawolf82's photo
Wed 12/11/13 03:12 PM
I think you should just take some time for yourself and not worry about dating just yet. Step back and look at what went wrong with the last one and learn from it so as not to repeat it your heart will know when you are ready and when you have fond the right one. Best of luck

no photo
Wed 12/11/13 03:45 PM

My ex called it quits after a 15 year relationship. How do I start seeing other women without any practice? I'm a shy guy, and confrontation isn't one of my strengths. All input greatly appreciated.


Women seem to like guys they can MOLD to fit their fantasies...
:thumbsup:

teebee79's photo
Wed 12/11/13 04:10 PM



Women seem to like guys they can MOLD to fit their fantasies...
:thumbsup:


I try and try but I simply can not mold me a Channing Tatum from Magic Mikeohwell


no photo
Wed 12/11/13 04:19 PM
Edited by KiK2me on Wed 12/11/13 04:19 PM




Women seem to like guys they can MOLD to fit their fantasies...
:thumbsup:


I try and try but I simply can not mold me a Channing Tatum from Magic Mikeohwell




That's because you have to move your mouth just right
When you are trying to shape 'em ....

giggitty .....giggitty
....g o o
:laughing:

PacificStar48's photo
Wed 12/11/13 05:20 PM
When I read your first post on this thread I was prompted to read the thread thinking ok give this guy some support and help him through what is a difficult experience at best.

THEN I read down how you have conducted yourself and you should be sooooooooh glad I am not your kids court appointed advocate because I would crucify you, and your wife, on the courthouse steps.

Well maybe her, maybe not, because we only have your side of the story and your varasity has holes in it big enough for and adult Kangaroo to vault through.

You have conducted yourself in an outlandish, abusive, and clearly inappropriate manner as a parent and a person facing divorce arbitration and custody arrangements.

You are not real bright documenting it in a world wide forum and I don't know a lawyer in the world that would want to take on your case with out a HUGE up front cash retainer because you are going to get slammed when her lawyer gets this in his hands and I pretty much guarantee he will.

You might have had her bluffed into buying you out of the house on the phone but bullying someone by text at work and at home; especially at night might just get her awarded the home, and a fat security up grade; while she retires with a PTSD claim and having a home tutor to protect the kids from further inclusion in the Divorce Wars which you actually sound like you are enjoying since you are making such a big effort to publicly document it.

I don't know how your kids are going to take you using them a poster children for your pity pot profile/post but I would not be surprised in the least if the court puts a gag order on you ASAP and your visitation is order to be done under supervision disallowing any photography. Hope it was worth it. I really feel sorry for your kids.

If You think your kids are not going to have schoolmates/neighbors throwing this up in their face you are deluded. You have effectively painted a target on the backs of two young girls/ your own children? Clearly you hate your ex more than you love your kids. And if you were not planning on paying for psychological counseling you best be now. I don't care if she was the wicked witch of the west you have made yourself the bully in this family by retaliating internationally publicly.

And as far as you dating after this light you have shown on your "performance" I would not look for anyone getting with in a country mile of you for a good long time. You have proved that you can not check your temper. That makes you a real bad bet as a date. I would not be surprised if you didn't just get added to several hundred ladies blocked list.

Even a divorce support group is not going to want someone who demonstrates the kind of behavior anywhere near their kids or their single female members.

willing2's photo
Wed 12/11/13 05:33 PM
Your ex is your ex. She has every right to allow some other dude to ram his tongue down her throat.

She says it's over? Accept it.

Lonely? Get a hobby or a hooker.

Life ain't fair and many folks have to start over.

midnighthymn's photo
Wed 12/11/13 06:01 PM
Moved to the Us for a woman got dumped 10 years later for booze!"

beauty314's photo
Thu 12/12/13 10:19 AM

When I read your first post on this thread I was prompted to read the thread thinking ok give this guy some support and help him through what is a difficult experience at best.

THEN I read down how you have conducted yourself and you should be sooooooooh glad I am not your kids court appointed advocate because I would crucify you, and your wife, on the courthouse steps.

Well maybe her, maybe not, because we only have your side of the story and your varasity has holes in it big enough for and adult Kangaroo to vault through.

You have conducted yourself in an outlandish, abusive, and clearly inappropriate manner as a parent and a person facing divorce arbitration and custody arrangements.

You are not real bright documenting it in a world wide forum and I don't know a lawyer in the world that would want to take on your case with out a HUGE up front cash retainer because you are going to get slammed when her lawyer gets this in his hands and I pretty much guarantee he will.

You might have had her bluffed into buying you out of the house on the phone but bullying someone by text at work and at home; especially at night might just get her awarded the home, and a fat security up grade; while she retires with a PTSD claim and having a home tutor to protect the kids from further inclusion in the Divorce Wars which you actually sound like you are enjoying since you are making such a big effort to publicly document it.

I don't know how your kids are going to take you using them a poster children for your pity pot profile/post but I would not be surprised in the least if the court puts a gag order on you ASAP and your visitation is order to be done under supervision disallowing any photography. Hope it was worth it. I really feel sorry for your kids.

If You think your kids are not going to have schoolmates/neighbors throwing this up in their face you are deluded. You have effectively painted a target on the backs of two young girls/ your own children? Clearly you hate your ex more than you love your kids. And if you were not planning on paying for psychological counseling you best be now. I don't care if she was the wicked witch of the west you have made yourself the bully in this family by retaliating internationally publicly.

And as far as you dating after this light you have shown on your "performance" I would not look for anyone getting with in a country mile of you for a good long time. You have proved that you can not check your temper. That makes you a real bad bet as a date. I would not be surprised if you didn't just get added to several hundred ladies blocked list.

Even a divorce support group is not going to want someone who demonstrates the kind of behavior anywhere near their kids or their single female members.

Thankyoudrinker

willing2's photo
Thu 12/12/13 10:41 AM
Edited by willing2 on Thu 12/12/13 10:42 AM
This topic might let women know what type of wanker they'd be dealing with of, they wanted to try to know this type of personality. ( Hoping wanker is PG):wink:

Maybe, the OP is a good guy and just hurting.

teebee79's photo
Thu 12/12/13 10:59 AM

This topic might let women know what type of wanker they'd be dealing with of, they wanted to try to know this type of personality. ( Hoping wanker is PG):wink:

Maybe, the OP is a good guy and just hurting.


That's what I got... He's hurting and just making awful decisions.
From his side of it, he was with this woman for 16 years... She calls it quits... wheather its his fault or not, it's over.
He has to adjust.

I'm thinking of my own ex, He said a lot of things out of anger, and he made a lot of mistakes. He's embarrased about them now.


beauty314's photo
Thu 12/12/13 11:50 AM
Regardless of wanker status, the kids have to come first.
Without some kind of outside help, the OP runs the risk of using his own kids to check on their mother and badmouth her. Even if she is the most horrible woman on the planet, they love her.
The best thing he could do for them is find clarity somehow ASAP.