Topic: Why can i not get a boyfriend?
Rhianx's photo
Sat 01/03/15 09:53 AM
Hey, I'm a very strong minded- speak what i think sort of person. Is that why so many guys in my life are uninterested?
I don't get it. Please post if you have anything useful to add. I stress the part useful. Thanks x x x

panchovanilla's photo
Sat 01/03/15 09:59 AM
Being strong minded and speaking your mind, can mean many things.
It's a broad spectrum. Could mean simply being sure of yourself and assertive.
Could also mean being totally egotistic and narcissistic.
So I can't really comment on you, personally.

MariahsFantasy's photo
Sat 01/03/15 10:00 AM
Maybe you intimidate them with your strong mind.

no photo
Sat 01/03/15 10:05 AM
Repeating the advice I got from a 30+ year old male on a different topic, but applicable to yours:

"Don't worry about it too much, just maintain some reserve and things will work out."
--- thanks lee! you're a life saver

Dodo_David's photo
Sat 01/03/15 01:36 PM

Hey, I'm a very strong minded- speak what i think sort of person. Is that why so many guys in my life are uninterested?
I don't get it. Please post if you have anything useful to add. I stress the part useful. Thanks x x x


Uh, you are how old?

no1phD's photo
Sat 01/03/15 02:04 PM
I don't have anything to add..
... just wanted to let you know I am NOT uninterested.... I'm not .. necessarily interested... just not uninterested... I know your going to find this interesting... or perhaps not interesting.. but if you're interested to know.... I would be interested to know.... if you are interested in knowing... how interested or uninterested I am... I think it would be interesting... to explore the possibility..... or not. ... I for one would be interested to find out...
... but interesting enough...hmm
... now this is very interesting..
did you know if you take too interesting people...ohhh.. I have to get back to you my bus is coming...
.. interesting its two minutes early..lol..jk..

.

tanyaann's photo
Sat 01/03/15 02:07 PM
Maybe because you are 18 years old and your focus should be on studying, work and/or learning about yourself.

tanyaann's photo
Sat 01/03/15 02:15 PM



...and what tanyaann says is quite reasonable.


noway Me? Reasonable?:wink: laugh

motowndowntown's photo
Sat 01/03/15 04:38 PM
Strong minded speaking what you think is one thing.

Whiny and or demanding is another thing altogether.

Just saying.

Ladylid2012's photo
Sat 01/03/15 04:40 PM
Relax, your 18
Time is on your side.
Stop trying so hard.

HoneyFly's photo
Sat 01/03/15 05:16 PM
Think outside of the box...

In this case, your mind. ;)

hrhall's photo
Mon 01/05/15 03:41 PM
Learn how to make a mean sammich an keep cold beer on hand

metalwing's photo
Mon 01/05/15 04:29 PM
You pose a complex problem with very little information with which to solve. You are very good looking so most guys are going to be attracted at the beginning. You sound like your attitude drives them away. You reinforce that concept by saying you are "very strong minded".

It sounds like you are just plain old "difficult". Men at your age are not mature enough (typically) to deal with a difficult love interest. The interest is soon lost and other interests are pursued.

vanaheim's photo
Mon 01/05/15 05:05 PM
Well a rather common general intimidation could be the expectation of more commitment than the amount of time given to know you very well can justify.

Younger women in particular tend to prefer opening the sexual floodgates when the premise is a committed relationship, but just like everyone else do actually enjoy sex and fall prey to the fact burgeoning relationships are largely sexually based no matter what your morals.

Now I'm talking about penetration here but just intimate affection with a welcome allowance of arousal is a form of sexual intercourse. Even just that arousal might make a woman feel slutty or cheap if given too readily perhaps, and some commitment to seeking a committed relationship together, even if just illusory is oft commonplace.

Now here is where you can draw a disparity, if too concerned with genuine commitment in priori, you maybe asking young guys to commit to a relationship with a girl they hardly know in order to have any form of sexual intercourse (ie. mutual arousal and intimacy), which itself is part the basis of any relationship.

The truth is you need to take some degree of chance with a person you're interested in developing a relationship with, trying to control its development from the beginning may seem like being in control of your life but to another person it may seem more like trying to control them. And that's the big red flag that chases young guys away, they don't like being controlled by girls who could be just playing games with them. If you take some chance, it's less like playing games...but yes there is risk: you could choose badly and get hurt by letting a playa in.

So the answer is learn to identify playas, and take a chance on sincere guys. You can't treat both the same, whatever chases one away chases both away. You just have to learn to identify which is which in order to know who to act differently with.



That's the best I can do given there is no specific information provided.