Addictive behaviors don't go away once the substance is stopped being used.

Often times, individuals in recovery still need to work on learning healthy behaviors and may substitute one addiction for another.

Mental health disorders. Personality disorders. Co-dependency. These don't just go away after a month or two of treatment or therapy.

Absolutely! Actually once the addict is clean & sober; I have found them as in a higher percentage to be more sensitive, self-aware, & honest than those in a non-addicted population. The ideal would be for the individual to have 5+ years of sobriety under his/her belt;}
There's an AA saying that goes, "It takes at least 1 year to find your marbles & 5 years to learn how to play with them..." lol!

Well....if she is an ex sex addict....and is having withdrawals......hmmmmmm.

Ha, I feel like a baby mod

I love being "modded".

not sure. it would depend on the person. he would be more than his label

You're never an ex addict or ex alcoholic. You can be a recovering one. Minimum to even think about getting into a relationship is one year, but even then it can be a bit risky. I'd give it at least a year and a half to two years if they are in ongoing treatment and remain in a treatment program.

If they simply stopped, but are not in any treatment, then they are dry, not recovering and are at a higher risk of returning to use.

I've been through it myself, so I prefer to date those in solid recovery.

I have a friend from here who has been clean and sober for 20 over years..... and I think it took him a lot of will power & self control. I admire that of him and yes.... I would date an ex-addict or ex-alcoholic if they have proven themselves over a certain period of time.

After all I was once a heavy smoker, drinker and party goer too..... I overcame that, and if I can, others can too and deserve a second or even third chance.

If they were your own brother/sister/relatives or close friends, don't you think you would wish others would give them a chance too?

I had a counselor who was clean and sober for 26 years then relapsed. Before she started using she had relapsed. She admitted to premeditating using about a year or so prior to returning to use. I'm not sure what she's doing now, but I took her fall as a betrayal to all those she has tried to help.

Another counselor whose program I've been through several times, committed suicide after 30+ years of sobriety.

Although we all have our issues to contend with, certain factors put us at higher risk for certain things, so we have to take that into consideration as well.

For example, some one who likes to eat too much sweets and has diabetes, but refuses to stop eating so much sweets is at a higher risk of further health issues, so getting into a relationship with them, you would have to take into consideration whether or not you're willing to be involved in that or not.

Except that diabetics dont go on a binge and steal all your stuff or eff up your life.

I get the whole "always an alcoholic and addict" thing....and wish those people the best. But, at 49, I honestly dont wanna have to deal with it.

Until you meet someone you have fallen in love with, and then find she was once an ex alcoholic or addict, at that stage, would you dump her or continue to stand by her side? After all, if she has managed to stay sober/clean for 5 years, wouldn't you want to encourage her on?

All the people who posted no will have your sentiments change once you fall in love with the person. Theoretically, we would all like a healthy person. Realistically, you never know which choices you will make when you're in love. I have surprised myself. So will you.

In the case of the example, there's no difference, as if you were to get involved with one who doesn't take care of their health, they can "eff" up your life just as bad as any addict.

Depends honestly....does she keep bringing up that shes an ex addict and has to do certain things....i.e. meetings, getting with a sponsor to talk stuff out, etc...just to get by? If so, good for her....its just not a life I want....sharing a life with someone using those parameters.
Its great for them....if thats what it takes to keep them clean. Ill be a supportive friend. I just dont want that as a part of a romantic relationship. Maybe not a popular of an idea to some, its just a line I draw.

I get what you mean by drawing a line if you can avoid it, but as I mentioned, if she had been clean/sober for sometime, and you only found out when you were already in deep......so, what would you do?

When I was 18 or 19, my then BF's sister called me to tell me that her brother is an addict, which explained the many 'cold turkey' episodes when he was trying to kick it but which I did not know about..... being young, I ran! I was too young to cope with that and never having drunk or used drugs, that thought really scared me. But I have regretted that coward action of mine, and I wish to think I would have acted differently if I was older and wiser!

We're talking about two different things....I'd do my very best to find out history before I was "in too deep".

Lol...I wouldn't be able to...because I actively enjoy all my addictive little vices .. ...hmmm he would have to have similar bad habits for us to even be together...

Very very true of those who have health issues and have no self control too! A diabetic who doesn't watch their diet, do go on a binge and causes a lot more $$$$$ in health treatment than those who steal your stuff! In such instances, they wouldn't be stealing, but you would be emptying your pockets to cope with the hospital bills.

A relative had to go for dialysis 3 times a week... a day before her dialysis, she would eat the foods that the dietician prohibited.... her reasoning 'tomorrow dialysis, so no harm'. She died at the dialysis machine of complications!

Crackhead = diabetic? Ill takes my chances with the diabetic...but hey, thats just me. You dont hafta convince me of your choices...I have my own.

que sera sera......