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Topic: Would you date an ex addict or ex alcoholic?
Amelinng Joined Tue 08/12/14 Posts: 1547	Sat 04/04/15 10:10 PM
I get what you mean by drawing a line if you can avoid it, but as I mentioned, if she had been clean/sober for sometime, and you only found out when you were already in deep......so, what would you do? We're talking about two different things....I'd do my very best to find out history before I was "in too deep". Fair enough! Maybe, design a form to be filled in before going on a date! Or hope you never have to contend with 'love at first sight'! OK Ok.....sorry for this! I just feel it is a 'never say never' situation in case it comes back and bite you.

RebelArcher Joined Sat 08/02/14 Posts: 5247	Sat 04/04/15 10:12 PM
I get what you mean by drawing a line if you can avoid it, but as I mentioned, if she had been clean/sober for sometime, and you only found out when you were already in deep......so, what would you do? We're talking about two different things....I'd do my very best to find out history before I was "in too deep". Fair enough! Maybe, design a form to be filled in before going on a date! Or hope you never have to contend with 'love at first sight'! OK Ok.....sorry for this! I just feel it is a 'never say never' situation in case it comes back and bite you. And bite me? Im 49....Ive lived a full life...had ups and downs and disappointments. If I get "bit", Ill manage....once again.

d__u__b Joined Thu 05/15/14 Posts: 15048	Sat 04/04/15 10:17 PM
does it have to be an 'ex'? how about 'current'. good supplies aren't always so easy to come by, ya know.

RebelArcher Joined Sat 08/02/14 Posts: 5247	Sat 04/04/15 10:20 PM
I get what you mean by drawing a line if you can avoid it, but as I mentioned, if she had been clean/sober for sometime, and you only found out when you were already in deep......so, what would you do? We're talking about two different things....I'd do my very best to find out history before I was "in too deep". Fair enough! Maybe, design a form to be filled in before going on a date! Or hope you never have to contend with 'love at first sight'! OK Ok.....sorry for this! I just feel it is a 'never say never' situation in case it comes back and bite you. And bite me? Im 49....Ive lived a full life...had ups and downs and disappointments. If I get "bit", Ill manage....once again. Btw....I didnt mean that to sound as bitchy as it might seem....I just have my own opinion. I respect your own :-)

Amelinng Joined Tue 08/12/14 Posts: 1547	Sat 04/04/15 10:29 PM
I get what you mean by drawing a line if you can avoid it, but as I mentioned, if she had been clean/sober for sometime, and you only found out when you were already in deep......so, what would you do? We're talking about two different things....I'd do my very best to find out history before I was "in too deep". Fair enough! Maybe, design a form to be filled in before going on a date! Or hope you never have to contend with 'love at first sight'! OK Ok.....sorry for this! I just feel it is a 'never say never' situation in case it comes back and bite you. And bite me? Im 49....Ive lived a full life...had ups and downs and disappointments. If I get "bit", Ill manage....once again. Btw....I didnt mean that to sound as bitchy as it might seem....I just have my own opinion. I respect your own :-) Sure thing, Rebel! And I don't mean to be mean either. Just my take on things!

jacktrades Joined Tue 09/11/12 Posts: 4395	Sat 04/04/15 11:46 PM
I would probably lean to say yes but if their addiction had anything to do with needles then I am sorry to say no.

Goofball73 Joined Mon 11/05/07 Posts: 33913	Sun 04/05/15 12:08 AM
Lol...I wouldn't be able to...because I actively enjoy all my addictive little vices .. ...hmmm he would have to have similar bad habits for us to even be together... God jammit....why can't ladies like this live near me?

Conrad_73 Joined Sat 09/29/07 Posts: 22488	Sun 04/05/15 01:17 AM
Short answer.... hell no! I work in substance abuse. I know a lot of great people in recovery, but it is highly unlikely I would get in a relationship with someone. Even if they have significant sobriety those behaviors take even more time to change. What behaviours.? Do you mean mindsets? Thank you for replying. Addictive behaviors don't go away once the substance is stopped being used. Often times, individuals in recovery still need to work on learning healthy behaviors and may substitute one addiction for another. Mental health disorders. Personality disorders. Co-dependency. These don't just go away after a month or two of treatment or therapy. not OFTEN Times,Recovering Addicts are,and have to be a Work In Progress,else,there is no Recovery!

mikeyspace4691 Joined Tue 02/04/14 Posts: 1862	Sun 04/05/15 01:38 AM
I hate a quitter, so no.

Pansytilly Joined Mon 06/09/14 Posts: 11310	Sun 04/05/15 05:19 AM
probably not... the only reason being... i'm not confident i'll be able to handle one...

Totage Joined Sat 10/13/07 Posts: 24210	Sun 04/05/15 05:36 AM
Honestly, even a recovering addict can be hard to handle. I know this because I am one and it takes a very special type of person to be able to handle me. I can understand why most would be hesitant to get involved even with a recovering addict. It's certainly not something for everyone, but there are also other things such as certain other health issues that not every person is able to handle.

marcol1 Joined Sat 03/28/15 Posts: 71	Sun 04/05/15 07:12 AM
If so, how long would you have wanted them to be clean or sober? What is your definition of an addict, or alcoholic

mikeyspace4691 Joined Tue 02/04/14 Posts: 1862	Sun 04/05/15 08:15 AM
I wouldn't date em cause they never have any drugs or alcohol..

GTS1111 Joined Sat 01/31/15 Posts: 45	Sun 04/05/15 08:21 AM Edited by GTS1111 on Sun 04/05/15 08:27 AM
wouldn't worry so much about dating an ex-anything...most of you should be grateful for anyone who happens to stagger in your direction. happy easter!

Rock Joined Thu 10/09/08 Posts: 21251	Sun 04/05/15 08:34 AM
All the people who posted no will have your sentiments change once you fall in love with the person. Theoretically, we would all like a healthy person. Realistically, you never know which choices you will make when you're in love. I have surprised myself. So will you. I have changed my sentiments, since my initial post . I will not engage in a relationship with an active addict and/or alcoholic. As I do not ever want that drama around me, or especially in my home(s). For me to even consider dating someone in 'recovery", she'll need at least seven years of sobriety and drug free living. Any sign of relapse, and she'll be told to leave.

mikeyspace4691 Joined Tue 02/04/14 Posts: 1862	Sun 04/05/15 08:40 AM
wouldn't worry so much about dating an ex-anything...most of you should be grateful for anyone who happens to stagger in your direction. happy easter! ^^^^^ Say's the Easter Bunny molester.

Conrad_73 Joined Sat 09/29/07 Posts: 22488	Sun 04/05/15 08:44 AM
If so, how long would you have wanted them to be clean or sober? What is your definition of an addict, or alcoholic https://ncadd.org/learn-about-alcohol/alcohol-abuse-self-test

GTS1111 Joined Sat 01/31/15 Posts: 45	Sun 04/05/15 10:29 AM
wouldn't worry so much about dating an ex-anything...most of you should be grateful for anyone who happens to stagger in your direction. happy easter! ^^^^^ Say's the Easter Bunny molester.

tealbreeze Joined Sun 02/08/15 Posts: 2279	Sun 04/05/15 03:42 PM
Well....if she is an ex sex addict....and is having withdrawals......hmmmmmm. Ha, I feel like a baby mod I love being "modded". You know your addicted to love Love is a drug.

sweetestgirl11 Joined Fri 09/12/08 Posts: 30087	Sun 04/05/15 08:09 PM
All the people who posted no will have your sentiments change once you fall in love with the person. Theoretically, we would all like a healthy person. Realistically, you never know which choices you will make when you're in love. I have surprised myself. So will you. I have changed my sentiments, since my initial post . I will not engage in a relationship with an active addict and/or alcoholic. As I do not ever want that drama around me, or especially in my home(s). For me to even consider dating someone in 'recovery", she'll need at least seven years of sobriety and drug free living. Any sign of relapse, and she'll be told to leave. you seem confident that she would want to live in your home