strike or home run?

A man that knows what he wants, and how to get it ... is incredibly sexy.
Within reason of course ... if he does it with anyone and everyone, it's not so sexy. A girl wants to feel special after all

If you're too shy to initiate, but ended up in a relationship, something must have worked? Someone must have done something, otherwise you wouldn't have gotten there.
I assume you'd attract ppl that aren't so shy, if the other one is right for you, she would likely initiate.
You can talk to her, let her know how shy you are. If you daren't do so in person, you can write her a sweet message to tell her how you feel. With the right person, who'd understand, you will prolly slowly get less shy with time.
If your problem is with the act itself, making you withdraw when the other initiates, you will have to look into your issues concerning sex and intimacy. And maybe get some help involved to find out what causes it and heal it.
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(Puts down the book "Fifty Shades of Grey")......What? I'm getting ideas.

Sex appeal starts with the look.

just reply her

talk French to her

Works for me every time.

Ohh la la

"and how to get it" is the important part and what the thread seems to be about.

It implies "knows the right way to go about getting it."

And I'd agree. A person that knows what they want, and knows the right way to go about getting it, because they know how to communicate with without any kind of learning curve, without ever saying or doing the wrong things which would preempt them from getting what they want, that ultimately means they know how to give what someone wants, because they want to, is incredibly sexy.

It would HAVE to be incredibly sexy...otherwise, they wouldn't get what they want...which would mean they don't know how to get it.

So...

Learn to identify how and what they are communicating, and fulfill what they are asking for and expecting?

Really simple.. Just look her in the eye,lean in really close and whisper in her ear.
My body so wants to have a chat with your body...

Usually works everytime...
and if their body doesn't respond..... NEXT

^^^^yup yup...works real well^^^^

I just wonder since you don't want to have sex with your ex, maybe trying to go out with a men... you might enjoy the sex better. JMO

I had to check your profile, to find out how old you are. You show there as being 18, and the age does make a big difference.

The main difference it makes, is that unless you are dating people MUCH older than you are, then they are likely no more certain of who they are and what they are "about" than you are, no matter how much of an appearance of certainty they might try to convey.

What that means, is that the reason your previous GF gave, that you weren't sexual enough for her, might well be false. Not because she intentionally lied to you, rather because younger people, when called upon to explain something they are uncomfortable about, are more likely to choose to say something much more intense than is actually accurate.

So to start, I would urge more contemplation before going forward.

It's also quite likely that your shyness has more to it than meets the eye. It often does. That which we describe as "shyness," can be anything from a kind of biological tendency to have your blood pressure fall instead of rise slightly in such situations, to a mistaken set of assumptions and fears about social interaction. I would suggest that you watch YOURSELF closely during some situations where you feel shy, and try to figure out more exactly what you are doing and why.

With all of that, it really IS just a matter of "go for it, and learn from what results" in a practical, immediate way of things. How do you learn to initiate more? By initiating more, as stumblingly as you may do so, until you do get comfortable doing it.

But again, I urge a bit more contemplation as well, since "didn't initiate sex enough" as a reason to dump someone at your young age, isn't likely the whole story.

Hope I don't end up laughing uncontrollably, every time I see a box of Taco's. Whew :)

If I was your man, I would take my time cuddling, caressing, stroking, kissing etc. I believe both should initiate intimacy. Xx