I have been noticing a very disturbing trend both online and offline in the high standards that both men and women set for prospective romantic interests , especially in terms of looks.

My last boyfriend though not ugly , with his brown front tooth, and beer gut on a skinny frame, was far from what I found appealing in the looks department..

... But I adored him .

My ex before him was much closer to my tastes in terms of looks, but guess what? He was not at all impressed with my body. He was 6 feet tall, lean and toned with a lust for skinny, long, leggy women, which at a laughable 5 ft 3 meaty frame, I could never attain ..

... But he adored me.

I totally respect that we all have our preferences, but why is it that some people who are the furthest from the worlds standard of beauty , are soooooooooo picky when it comes to other's looks?

I have seen people in this chatsite that LOOK so old that I fear for their safety as they make their way from one end of the room to the next...

AND STILL ... They have the nerve to harshly criticize the looks of others.

I am NOT addressing people's looks in this thread. I am addressing the extremity of people's critique on OTHER's looks when they themselves will never be mistaken for Hugh Jackman or Jennifer Lopez.

Is it that some people are so busy using their magnifying glasses on others that the forget to use their mirrors on themselves?

Where do some people get the nerve to be so blind about their own looks, but so critical about the looks of others ?

lately i have been thinking about this so much indeed. i have a friend on one of the other sites. i like her, she is nice. but... i realised that she is making bad critics about the other males and females about being ugly, especially saying that they are fat !! make a guess about this girl's weight.... there is no way of telling her about the truths..

i have many other observations like this one, here and there and in real life as well.. but this particular one with my friend lately made me think about what kind of a mirror people are using at their homes..

oh hun lol lol lol
u made me laugh loudly. u are very funny and more than that you are very smart about picking a very correct subject again. i will be following your thread.

Exactly B! I am so confused about this.

I wonder if in THEIR town or community , people call them good looking so they think people all over the country or the world think that they are good looking?

But even if the whole world says they are good looking, that is no reason to harshly criticize people that don't have their looks.

i sometimes think one other way..
maybe, they are well aware that they are not any better than the ones they criticize but they are just trying to beat their inner voice by giving out a very self-confident (even over confident) look. their fight is not with the other people. their fight is indeed with themselves.

in other words; their way of fighting against their inferiority complex.
(obviously cannot be approved)

Hmmmmm. That is an interesting thought and it could be true, but they sound sooooooooo confident!

It amazes me also.
Nerve it must be.

And the creepiest are the most vocal.

I am thinking it is because they are on a dating
site, they treat it like a menu.

They cannot order from real life so they come
here and want the best, a la carte.

Guess what..here is the same as real life.
If you cannot attain your dream there, it is
unlikely to happen here.

Your personality is the same.
See the problem?

Here's the truth of the matter. Most people cannot see themselves. They only see others. And what they think they see in others is not always the truth.

It's the same thing with profiles that people write about themselves. They write what they think they see in themselves. But what they see in themselves may not be what others see.

Some people look good. Some people THINK they look good. What an individual sees in the mirror may be a lie. You follow me?

Me for example. I think I'm a decent-looking average guy. No better or worse than the one before or after me. When I look in the mirror I see an average looking middle-aged guy that's been through a lot of shyt in 53 years. When I look at me I'm honest with myself. The way I look at it, if you can't be honest with yourself, you sure as hades can't be honest with anyone else.

I wonder the same thing.

It's usually the most attractive that have the higher standards in choosing a mate or partner, clothes and any number of material things it's the sheep mentality everyone has to own a Iphone 6, the latest fashion..sort of judging a book by it's cover.. But there are those who decide not to follow the crowd.. Owning a flip phone because they do not feel the need to pay hundreds of dollars a month, driving an older model car.. These people also have preferences which one is wrong? Who am I to judge what someone chooses...

Comes down to that mirror again.. if they could look at themselves and be ok with themselves so be it.. But if I'm sitting in judgement and expectations of them, am I not guilty of the same assessment I am assuming of them... I like to run against the grain.. It's my nature Don't put baby in a corner... I too have Preferences,Expectations.. and Shortcomings

Go figure.

I am inclined to believe your take on it soufie.

There is something about the online world that gives people a misguided sense of power and sex appeal.

Coming from a dot of an island myself, I understand how dizzying and empowering it is to theoretically increase my romantic prospects by hundreds, with just the click of a button .

But in actuality, the rules of engagement are very similar whether you are dating online or offline. If in dating offline , you don't attract beauty queens or studs, there is NO FAIRY DUST ONLINE that will magically make you attract beauty queens or studs on the internet.

And as in real life as online, the amazing looking people that are highly sought after, are often looking for mates who are equally amazing looking or SOMETIMES they pursue the not- so -good -looking people to exploit them out of their money.

It may be sad and unfair but that is reality, and reality doesn't operate that different up close and personal than it does behind the mystical screen of a computer monitor.

As you so rightfully said, personalities remain the same...

You are right, the attention that is garnered on here can be
overwhelming and give a sense of empowerment that lasts as
long as the delusion lasts.

peggy122, I have seen your profile images, and your ex was stupid to think that you weren't outwardly perfect.

Reminds me of a guy I dated years ago.
Tall, exceptionally handsome, very full of himself.

While we ate dinner he began to criticize the looks
of every woman in the room.

Hackles rising, I said 'none of them have a nose like
the Holland Tunnel, you could drive a car through it..'
took him a bit to figure out I was referring to HIS
nose.

He got all offended.
I asked why as he seemed to grade everyone but himself.

He had no answer..except he stopped with the insults.
I really do not think it had ever occurred to HIMSELF
that he might have similar flaws.

Don't get me wrong Nobootyhunter.

People have a right to their preferences .

They even have the right to set the HIGHEST bars for OTHERS in terms of looks they demand.

But if the people who are less-than-stellar- to behold ,feel entitled to publicly scorn the features of others that do not meet their high standards, then those criticizers should not have a problem with me feeling entitled to publicly point out their shortcomings and their colossal nerve.

Maybe the answer is in your own post.

I mean you speak of:

Seems there's no guarantee no matter who you date it will work out to any kind of guaranteed solution.

So why not just go for as pretty as you can get?


Did you already forget Joan Rivers and what made her a popular comedian?
Do you believe there was ever a point in history where people didn't harshly criticize the looks of others, despite what they looked like?

Greeks competed in the Olympics in the nude for a reason. And it wasn't because spandex wasn't invented.

People have always been vain and especially critical of others even if the vanity wasn't deserved.

Historically, peons generally kept it to themselves or within a small group where they gossiped.
But now everyone can say anything and feel like a valuable member to the world community!

When no matter how wrong your opinion may be is valued and validated, that leads to any beliefs and actions based on those opinions to have merit, which simply leads to their exacerbation and dissemination when there is a medium to do so.


Aesops fable.
Prometheus created man with 2 sacks.
One on his front carries the fault of others.
The one on his back carries his own.
That's thousands of years old.
People are people.
It's not "some" people.
All people suffer this to some degree.


Basic human nature.

Well I think there are many reasons and also the situation. Some people are swallow minded whereas some do to feel superior. Nowadays mostly in TV also we see such kind of comedy so people feel doing it is funny like in Soufie's case. The old charlie Chaplin way is lost now
Sometimes the comparison is done to make the other person happy which is good in a way. Complex behavior of human fascinating subject to study