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| Topic: A Vacation From Your Partner? | |
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In the movie "Sex & The City 2" ,.the idea of needing space from one's mate is addressed. How would you feel if your mate wanted to go on an annual vacation by his/her self? Not for work or with friends. Just.by his/herself Would it make you feel insecure about the relationship? Or is it something you have secretly wished for yourself, but were afraid to ask? Let me add that the condition that the mate vacations with you at other times in the year, but does maybe a weekend getaway by his /herself annually. That's the kind of relationship I want. And with the man in my life, I could see that happen too. What's wrong with it? Nothing. He likes a few things I have no interest in, so I cannot share that with him, I'd likely only spoil it for him. Why would I want to spoil something for a partner when I love him? I don't own a partner. I can see myself going to Glastonbury (UK) on my own at some point in time. Now if my partner happened to take an interest in that, I'd love for him to come with me. Otherwise I'd go on my own. Loving each other doesn't mean you got to be glued together or joint at the hip. That's needy, clingy, smothering. If both need that sort of thing, fair enough. If both need some personal freedom and/or the space to enjoy what they love doing, it should be possible to do that. And no, that does not extend to the local strip club or something. I wouldn't like it if it was more than a week. And also wouldn't be happy if we never went on holiday together. There's gotta be a balance. Friend of mine used to stay home with the 2 youngest, her hubby would go on holiday with their eldest. They both liked cycling & camping. They buggered off for 2 weeks sometimes. What's wrong with that? Nothing at all. And they're still happily married btw. In a healthy relationship you (can) give each other space when it's needed. Most ppl think and behave as if the other is their property, just because they're in a relationship. I think that's relationship killer No1. . . I think most people need space from their partner at some point. Part of the challenge however is that one person often appears to need more than the other and it results in hurt feelings. It would really require a secure and understanding partner and a stable relationship for such a free arrangement to thrive. And you seem to have found that. Congrats crystal!  Cheers! We haven't reached the stage of holidays together just yet, but I do know he needs his personal freedom, and I do too. I have had a relationship where we were glued together, joint at the hip. At the time I needed that, as did my then hubby. But I outgrew it as I got more 'me', and it started to get on my nerves. I don't ever want that again. Not saying I wouldn't miss my partner if he'd wanted to go on hols on his own, I would. That's why I think a week is more than enough  But I got plenty of things to do myself, and I don't think anyone should be tied down, held back, just because they're in a relationship with you. And it also gives me the freedom to do something like that on my own. Wouldn't it be horrible to really really want to do something and can't because you're partner doesn't share your passion for that particular thing? I think you'd come to resent the other for that. |
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PS apart from that, think about how great it would be to see each other again!
  
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hi h
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hi
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hi
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In the movie "Sex & The City 2" ,.the idea of needing space from one's mate is addressed. How would you feel if your mate wanted to go on an annual vacation by his/her self? Not for work or with friends. Just.by his/herself Would it make you feel insecure about the relationship? Or is it something you have secretly wished for yourself, but were afraid to ask? Let me add that the condition that the mate vacations with you at other times in the year, but does maybe a weekend getaway by his /herself annually. That's the kind of relationship I want. And with the man in my life, I could see that happen too. What's wrong with it? Nothing. He likes a few things I have no interest in, so I cannot share that with him, I'd likely only spoil it for him. Why would I want to spoil something for a partner when I love him? I don't own a partner. I can see myself going to Glastonbury (UK) on my own at some point in time. Now if my partner happened to take an interest in that, I'd love for him to come with me. Otherwise I'd go on my own. Loving each other doesn't mean you got to be glued together or joint at the hip. That's needy, clingy, smothering. If both need that sort of thing, fair enough. If both need some personal freedom and/or the space to enjoy what they love doing, it should be possible to do that. And no, that does not extend to the local strip club or something. I wouldn't like it if it was more than a week. And also wouldn't be happy if we never went on holiday together. There's gotta be a balance. Friend of mine used to stay home with the 2 youngest, her hubby would go on holiday with their eldest. They both liked cycling & camping. They buggered off for 2 weeks sometimes. What's wrong with that? Nothing at all. And they're still happily married btw. In a healthy relationship you (can) give each other space when it's needed. Most ppl think and behave as if the other is their property, just because they're in a relationship. I think that's relationship killer No1. . . I think most people need space from their partner at some point. Part of the challenge however is that one person often appears to need more than the other and it results in hurt feelings. It would really require a secure and understanding partner and a stable relationship for such a free arrangement to thrive. And you seem to have found that. Congrats crystal! Cheers! We haven't reached the stage of holidays together just yet, but I do know he needs his personal freedom, and I do too. I have had a relationship where we were glued together, joint at the hip. At the time I needed that, as did my then hubby. But I outgrew it as I got more 'me', and it started to get on my nerves. I don't ever want that again. Not saying I wouldn't miss my partner if he'd wanted to go on hols on his own, I would. That's why I think a week is more than enough But I got plenty of things to do myself, and I don't think anyone should be tied down, held back, just because they're in a relationship with you. And it also gives me the freedom to do something like that on my own. Wouldn't it be horrible to really really want to do something and can't because you're partner doesn't share your passion for that particular thing? I think you'd come to resent the other for that. Cheers to that! :) |
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Ok I like me time but I also would never do anything to disrespect someone I am with
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Hmm I get the need for alone time But having to get far away from me. Ummm..go have fun...I will do the same...lol...look out Vegas here I come..lol The media has been alerted. No one will turn their back to you :-) .... or their front if they know what's good for them 
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Edited by
msharmony
on
Mon 02/20/17 12:03 PM
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In the movie "Sex & The City 2" ,.the idea of needing space from one's mate is addressed. How would you feel if your mate wanted to go on an annual vacation by his/her self? Not for work or with friends. Just.by his/herself Would it make you feel insecure about the relationship? Or is it something you have secretly wished for yourself, but were afraid to ask? Let me add that the condition that the mate vacations with you at other times in the year, but does maybe a weekend getaway by his /herself annually. well if the mate is a spouse, I view that as binding as any family and I understand wanting some 'me' time to be on ones own and not have the responsibilities/expectations of being the sister/daughter/mother/spouse but it also depends upon the length of the 'vacation' I mean a day or two off to oneself ,,no biggy but if they feel like they need a whole week or two, I would wonder what was so wrong with my company,,, |
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I am all for having your own hobbies, friends
though I do think couples should find something they can both enjoy together a week away at hunting camp with guys? no big deal or he is going to see his sister or business trip |
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Hi Peggy!
It doesn't make much sense to me this Vacation alone thing 1) I'm not a loner 2) Wherever I'd be going, I'd want her with me. She would have the freedom of doing whatever she wanted, she needs to Vaca alone? I would trust her with it, it's just not for me. |
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Edited by
SparklingCrystal 💖💎
on
Mon 02/20/17 01:18 PM
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I am all for having your own hobbies, friends though I do think couples should find something they can both enjoy together a week away at hunting camp with guys? no big deal or he is going to see his sister or business trip Silly thing is, most women flip when it's about their man going on hols on his own, a weekend or a week or whatever. But if a guy wants to stray, he'll do so nonetheless. I once talked to this woman who frequented a swingers club. She said 9 out of 10 men there are married / involved. They come and go in waves, depending on the excuse they told the missus: - a meeting for work - sports club - night out with mates Most of these men are regulars... Now ain't that nice? You think your guy is at the sports club, yet he's in a swingers club banging other women... Like you, I also think of something like fishing or a quiet time away from everything. If my partner would want to go boozing and partying in Amsterdam for a weekend/week, I wouldn't be particularly chuffed either. . . . |
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Hmm I get the need for alone time But having to get far away from me. Ummm..go have fun...I will do the same...lol...look out Vegas here I come..lol I think when people need space, its usually not from their partner alone. They need a break from work, chores,kids, care giving responsibilities for their parents, studies or any number of things . It is not always personal. Some individuals rather than take that breathing time, stay amidst all the stress and become very unpleasant to be around |
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Edited by
TxsGal3333
on
Mon 02/20/17 04:47 PM
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Humm can't even say that thought has ever crossed my mind.. If I need alone time I can do that at home for the day or the weekend...
But as far as just going on a vacation type thing all by myself naw. Myself if I'm with someone I would rather it be a place we both enjoy and have some fun together away from life.. And yea I would have to wonder if someone just went off by themselves for a week all by themselves. Now it would be different if it was a guy thang and some of their buddies was going... Everyone needs some me time just have never known anyone that took a whole week for me time... to be all alone... Even when I go on vacations I go with family or friends much more fun to have others to do things with.. |
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hiiii
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Ok I like me time but I also would never do anything to disrespect someone I am with No one should disrespect their partner whether on vacation or at home. You have my agreement Yellowrose. :) |
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In the movie "Sex & The City 2" ,.the idea of needing space from one's mate is addressed. How would you feel if your mate wanted to go on an annual vacation by his/her self? Not for work or with friends. Just.by his/herself Would it make you feel insecure about the relationship? Or is it something you have secretly wished for yourself, but were afraid to ask? Let me add that the condition that the mate vacations with you at other times in the year, but does maybe a weekend getaway by his /herself annually. well if the mate is a spouse, I view that as binding as any family and I understand wanting some 'me' time to be on ones own and not have the responsibilities/expectations of being the sister/daughter/mother/spouse but it also depends upon the length of the 'vacation' I mean a day or two off to oneself ,,no biggy but if they feel like they need a whole week or two, I would wonder what was so wrong with my company,,, That's understandble to question your mate's affection for your company MsH, but if a couple has a very secure and loving relationship with no history of cheating, the fact that one party opts to be alone over being with friends may very well mean that they need time away from noise in general to reflect. It may not have anything to do with you per say. And yes.... 2 weeks would freak me out, but a weekend passes in no time. I would be fully understanding of a week . Different people require different levels of solitude to center/process their thoughts. |
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Edited by
peggy122
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Tue 02/21/17 12:48 AM
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I am all for having your own hobbies, friends though I do think couples should find something they can both enjoy together a week away at hunting camp with guys? no big deal or he is going to see his sister or business trip Oh yeah. Mutual hobbies are mandatory to maintain that bond,and having your own lives and friends is healthy, but as I told Ms. H, some people need silence to self reflect. Being with friends or family members on a trip generally wont allow for that. What I would say is that some people have jobs that take them out of the state and away from their mate frequently. I would admit to feeling frustrated if after all that time apart, I had to endure further scheduled separation. |
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Hi Peggy! It doesn't make much sense to me this Vacation alone thing 1) I'm not a loner 2) Wherever I'd be going, I'd want her with me. She would have the freedom of doing whatever she wanted, she needs to Vaca alone? I would trust her with it, it's just not for me. Hi John! I totally get you on this. It's not for everyone.:) |
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I am all for having your own hobbies, friends though I do think couples should find something they can both enjoy together a week away at hunting camp with guys? no big deal or he is going to see his sister or business trip Silly thing is, most women flip when it's about their man going on hols on his own, a weekend or a week or whatever. But if a guy wants to stray, he'll do so nonetheless. I once talked to this woman who frequented a swingers club. She said 9 out of 10 men there are married / involved. They come and go in waves, depending on the excuse they told the missus: - a meeting for work - sports club - night out with mates Most of these men are regulars... Now ain't that nice? You think your guy is at the sports club, yet he's in a swingers club banging other women... Like you, I also think of something like fishing or a quiet time away from everything. If my partner would want to go boozing and partying in Amsterdam for a weekend/week, I wouldn't be particularly chuffed either. . . . I also agree that people can cheat anywhere, including business trips which many cheating spouses use as their default lie to hide their affairs. And I actually hadn't thought about but their choice of location would matter to me too. If they claim , they need reflection time but they are heading to Las Vegas or any area associated with salaciousness, my antennas would be up. |
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