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| Topic: Recently widowed, does that turn you off? | |
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I'm curious now if that's a turn off? I don't know what I'm looking for - I don't know if I'm ready to be in love but I do have needs. I have been told both could be a reason people maybe don't write me. It's like I can't win for losing??
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Unless you have had five husbands die from "accidentally" ingesting poison mushrooms, widowhood shouldn't be a problem for any man.
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I'm curious now if that's a turn off? I don't know what I'm looking for - I don't know if I'm ready to be in love but I do have needs. I have been told both could be a reason people maybe don't write me. It's like I can't win for losing?? I was recently widowed when I joined this site. |
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Since you have stated that you don't know where you are going, then it follows any road will get you there,...
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A turn off? No.
So sorry for your loss! Ease in however you want. I'm sure it's awkward. Do what you do. Its YOUR time. Welcome to Mingle. |
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Don't worry
it's a matter of time, you will find your answer. be patient and ready to meet all kinds of people around. it's just a matter of time |
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Recently widowed, does that turn you off? To me personally, yes. The thought of trying to have sex with you would bring up feelings of guilt that I may be taking advantage of your grief, or that's what you were reacting to rather than any actual desire for me, or that it's all just about you, you, you, to help you feel better and I'm just a socially and emotionally validating vibrator. The thought of trying to start a relationship with you would bring up feelings that you aren't or shouldn't be over your spouse, that you may be grieving and the person I meet today and start a relationship with is going to be something completely different, wanting completely different things, and communicating them completely differently tomorrow, that "helping" you through any grieving process would either lead to "helping" you go back to a normal where we aren't compatible, to someone I don't know as I only know the person "recently widowed," or "helping" you become codependent upon me if you associate me with "helping" with any extreme negative emotional problems. I have been told both could be a reason people maybe don't write me. Or it could just be the site/online dating/the internet. Based on your picture you're a big boobed woman. Based on one thread asking about the sex forums, and this thread saying you don't know about love but you do have needs basically translates to "I'm a big boobed blonde woman and I want no strings sex." In internet dating land that usually = scammer. Other than that, you always have the option of emailing people rather than waiting for them to email you. It's like I can't win for losing? Why do you think there are so many "what do guys/women want?!?!" |
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I'm curious now if that's a turn off? I don't know what I'm looking for - I don't know if I'm ready to be in love but I do have needs. I have been told both could be a reason people maybe don't write me. It's like I can't win for losing?? Sorry to hear of your recent loss. You are single again, and someone windowed isn't any less attractive than any other single person in my opinion. You have just joined this site, it does take time to find the right person for you and try joining other dating sites as well, have patience and I am sure you will meet the one for you. Welcome to Mingle2 and good luck in your search. |
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Problem does exist but in ur head rather than anywhere elsr
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Firstly, my sympathy to you and David
Not sure why it would put genuine people off. Only if they can't deal with comforting someone. Also, maybe more so for a woman is making sure someone isn't going to take advantage whilst you are vulnerable. Hope I come across ok, good luck 
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Problem does exist but in ur head rather than anywhere elsr Not really if you ask me. You have no idea of the Ladies story except she lost her husband. I think your answer is insensitive and selfish. I'd say you have a few problems of your own going on in your head. |
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Problem does exist but in ur head rather than anywhere elsr Not really if you ask me. You have no idea of the Ladies story except she lost her husband. I think your answer is insensitive and selfish. I'd say you have a few problems of your own going on in your head. Well said, very insensitive |
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it could be a problem , because people go by their past experiences and the mind naturally makes generalizations based upon those experiences
if a person is willing to start new with you, however, and treat you as a new and unique individual, it may not be a hindrance to their getting to at least know you Id say it just all depends upon the person, I have things like that, like someone in their late forties who was never married or had kids,,, is a turn off for me, only because I do not feel such a person is a match someone who has never experienced loss, may not feel they could relate to what you are going through ,,,, |
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Edited by
joethebricky
on
Thu 03/30/17 09:34 AM
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Recently widowed, does that turn you off? To me personally, yes. The thought of trying to have sex with you would bring up feelings of guilt that I may be taking advantage of your grief, or that's what you were reacting to rather than any actual desire for me, or that it's all just about you, you, you, to help you feel better and I'm just a socially and emotionally validating vibrator. The thought of trying to start a relationship with you would bring up feelings that you aren't or shouldn't be over your spouse, that you may be grieving and the person I meet today and start a relationship with is going to be something completely different, wanting completely different things, and communicating them completely differently tomorrow, that "helping" you through any grieving process would either lead to "helping" you go back to a normal where we aren't compatible, to someone I don't know as I only know the person "recently widowed," or "helping" you become codependent upon me if you associate me with "helping" with any extreme negative emotional problems. I have been told both could be a reason people maybe don't write me. Or it could just be the site/online dating/the internet. Based on your picture you're a big boobed woman. Based on one thread asking about the sex forums, and this thread saying you don't know about love but you do have needs basically translates to "I'm a big boobed blonde woman and I want no strings sex." In internet dating land that usually = scammer. Other than that, you always have the option of emailing people rather than waiting for them to email you. It's like I can't win for losing? Why do you think there are so many "what do guys/women want?!?!" I don't agree with you first quote Tom but I have to say your second quote is similar to what I thought. Widow, big boobs, NSA, but then I wonder if time spent on Mingle has made me or you or some people weary of what you could call red flags. I'd like to think the Lady is genuine but I would be cautious if I felt like getting in touch. Hope this helps Young lady and I wish you well. |
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I have to say, these forums are greats d I appreciate the honesty. No I don't know what I'm looking for exactly. It's been 9 months and the last 5 years of our marriage had no intimacy due to his health. I had to tube feed him for a year and a half.. sex was the last thing on my mind. A few months after I sorta came out from the fog I was (still am) SO lonely. But I do have needs and wants and since I don't know what I'm looking for I feel it's better to say FWB and then if it grows into more that's the natural course and I'd be thrilled. I guess it feels like maybe I'm not getting anyone's hopes up that way.. I don't know. But I had to stop being intimate with the love of my life at 35. My prime. I long for companionship again... thanks for your feedback .. :). Have a blessed night
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Unless you have had five husbands die from "accidentally" ingesting poison mushrooms, widowhood shouldn't be a problem for any man. 
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Sorry for your loss Snoopinaround.
and Dodo, i didn't know that till now. i am sorry for your loss too. |
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Thank you. It's a hard world bein thrown suddenly into the singles crowd.
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Edited by
no1phD
on
Fri 03/31/17 09:02 AM
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Recently widowed does that turn you off?.
It depends... did he have a heart attack while making love with you.. .. because the idea of making love with you big turn-on... but the idea of killing over well doing it not such a big turn-on..lol..jk. |
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Omg..op.. please tell me your late husband did not kill over while making love to you... if he did I'm terribly sorry..
There was no way for me to know that when I posted what I did above....oops |
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