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Topic: Was it this hard for our folks though?
Ma943's photo
Mon 05/22/17 06:57 AM
Online dating. yup, i've hit rock bottom ha ha. Man, was it ever this hard to find love in the old days?

Tom4Uhere's photo
Mon 05/22/17 09:10 AM

Online dating. yup, i've hit rock bottom ha ha. Man, was it ever this hard to find love in the old days?

Considering that yesterday is an old day - YES.

slimmmerman's photo
Tue 05/23/17 07:00 AM


Online dating. yup, i've hit rock bottom ha ha. Man, was it ever this hard to find love in the old days?

Considering that yesterday is an old day - YES.

Yesterday was a recent day... the old days refers to some time before our's!

slimmmerman's photo
Tue 05/23/17 07:03 AM
It wasn't this hard before the internet... you'd hang out in certain circles, with friends, and you would meet someone in your circle or another circle affiliated with your's. Since the onset of the internet, meeting and greeting people, it's all so messed up.
I remember when Yahoo chat was the big thing and people would get into "Chat relationships" and eventually started having "Chat marriages" which could start, happen and end all in a month or two and then the people would go off and start new ones. It was making it very difficult to meet anyone and stay in a long term relationship. Facebook has made it worse and these dating sites aren't helping...

slimmmerman's photo
Tue 05/23/17 07:03 AM
It wasn't this hard before the internet... you'd hang out in certain circles, with friends, and you would meet someone in your circle or another circle affiliated with your's. Since the onset of the internet, meeting and greeting people, it's all so messed up.
I remember when Yahoo chat was the big thing and people would get into "Chat relationships" and eventually started having "Chat marriages" which could start, happen and end all in a month or two and then the people would go off and start new ones. It was making it very difficult to meet anyone and stay in a long term relationship. Facebook has made it worse and these dating sites aren't helping...

no photo
Tue 05/23/17 07:21 AM
Edited by Piscesmoon02 on Tue 05/23/17 07:45 AM

It wasn't this hard before the internet... you'd hang out in certain circles, with friends, and you would meet someone in your circle or another circle affiliated with your's. Since the onset of the internet, meeting and greeting people, it's all so messed up.
I remember when Yahoo chat was the big thing and people would get into "Chat relationships" and eventually started having "Chat marriages" which could start, happen and end all in a month or two and then the people would go off and start new ones. It was making it very difficult to meet anyone and stay in a long term relationship. Facebook has made it worse and these dating sites aren't helping...


And you're here why? Why would you join a "dating site" if you feel the online dating thing has messed everything up or is making things worse? Just curious.

TxsGal3333's photo
Wed 05/24/17 07:20 AM
Dating is totally different online then it use to be face to face....

But in one sense you have a opportunity to meet more people if you choose too.. Just have to weed through all the weird ones....

It is what you make it either good or bad..

Internet dating is not for some for those there is always the old way..

msharmony's photo
Wed 05/24/17 08:34 AM
It was probably harder to find relationships, but easier to find love.

There are still all the same options that our parents have, but now there are many more. This means the potential pool of people is much larger and relationships much more abundant. This also means the potential for fakes and scams is much larger so the potential for an actual 'intimacy' is diluted and love is much harder to find.

dnewnew's photo
Wed 05/24/17 05:10 PM
Idk...in the 50's 60's 70's there were strict rules about dating, marriage, divorce etc. (the pressure to marry at a certain age, to a certain type of person depending on demographics etc).

Women & men married at a younger age than now & reproduced earlier too. Up until the 70's women were far more likely to quit their jobs once the 1st child came along etc.

People met people from socio-economic groups similar to themselves, in locations near to them (no internet to find love w/someone across the country much less across an ocean, who maybe spoke a different language or was a different religion/race).

Seems to me there was a general idea of "good enough" when it came to finding/accepting a spouse. Nowadays b/c of the internet...no one is good enough b/c the next click could show you someone better...

Humans still want love & acceptance from "the one", how we go about finding that "one" has changed drastically...with more choices comes more hesitation at deciding who is "the one"...

no photo
Wed 05/24/17 05:18 PM

Online dating. yup, i've hit rock bottom ha ha. Man, was it ever this hard to find love in the old days?

nothing beats face to face. That is why on line will never overtake it.

With on line you get a extremely small glimpse of what the person is like. And most make a quick judgement'' right then.. don't like.. click on the next.

face to face you see the persons personality, there smile, their humor and of course their looks... you see... them.

And no computer screen will ever beat that.

no photo
Wed 05/24/17 05:19 PM
My parents met because they worked in the same factory, but in different departments. They met in the company bowling league. That was probably back in the 50's.

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Thu 05/25/17 01:38 AM

Idk...in the 50's 60's 70's there were strict rules about dating, marriage, divorce etc. (the pressure to marry at a certain age, to a certain type of person depending on demographics etc).

Women & men married at a younger age than now & reproduced earlier too. Up until the 70's women were far more likely to quit their jobs once the 1st child came along etc.

People met people from socio-economic groups similar to themselves, in locations near to them (no internet to find love w/someone across the country much less across an ocean, who maybe spoke a different language or was a different religion/race).

Seems to me there was a general idea of "good enough" when it came to finding/accepting a spouse. Nowadays b/c of the internet...no one is good enough b/c the next click could show you someone better...

Humans still want love & acceptance from "the one", how we go about finding that "one" has changed drastically...with more choices comes more hesitation at deciding who is "the one"...

^^^^^ This is what I'd wanted to say. Saves me the typing.
OP's question is a bit like "Were women happier in the 50s than they are now?"
I doubt modern day women could live the way women had to in the 50s so they'd likely all say "NO!"

Think of Titanic... she could never have been with the man she truly loved because he was a blue collar bloke.
We have freedom of choice now, and instead of rejoicing, many cannot handle that and would rather have the bondage from the old days.

TMommy's photo
Thu 05/25/17 06:44 AM
My folks met in junior high and were dating by high school
in fact, most of my aunts and uncles were all high school sweethearts

no1phD's photo
Thu 05/25/17 07:14 AM
No it wasn't... my forefathers would just go down to the river Club the woman over the head drag her back to the cave and make a baby..... no need to wine and dine her... or sweet-talk her over the phone....lol... oh if it was just that easy nowadays..lol

no photo
Thu 05/25/17 08:49 PM
My parents met because my mother sent a letter to a soldier during the Vietnam conflict. Apparently her friends church was doing this and she asked if my mom would join her. After about 45 years they're still married.

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Fri 05/26/17 01:02 AM

No it wasn't... my forefathers would just go down to the river Club the woman over the head drag her back to the cave and make a baby..... no need to wine and dine her... or sweet-talk her over the phone....lol... oh if it was just that easy nowadays..lol

Basics are the same. It's called making a commitment :p
And when she was preggers, even your forefathers came to realize she was always right. "Yes ma'am!" Just think of Fred Flintstone. You think he laid down the law with a spanking or his missus? Oh dear... did I just invent BDSM Fred Flintstone?

Beachfarmer's photo
Fri 05/26/17 03:55 AM


No it wasn't... my forefathers would just go down to the river Club the woman over the head drag her back to the cave and make a baby..... no need to wine and dine her... or sweet-talk her over the phone....lol... oh if it was just that easy nowadays..lol

Basics are the same. It's called making a commitment :p
And when she was preggers, even your forefathers came to realize she was always right. "Yes ma'am!" Just think of Fred Flintstone. You think he laid down the law with a spanking or his missus? Oh dear... did I just invent BDSM Fred Flintstone?

I think I need to RTFM.

IgorFrankensteen's photo
Fri 05/26/17 04:30 AM
Edited by IgorFrankensteen on Fri 05/26/17 04:31 AM
I'm one of the many craggy oldsters who experienced both eras. My own observation, is that not nearly as much has changed as many think.

More "rules" in the old days? Not really. As now, there were "the rules" that the majority of people paid lip service to, but in the event, everyone either ignored them on purpose, or found ways to delude themselves that they were adhering to them even as they completely flouted them.

Things are done more openly now, than then, that's the main change I've seen. But there's the same pretenses being played out. I see just as many people now, complaining about the seeming hypocrisy of the opposite sex ("she says she wants a nice guy, and then goes home with the bad boy" kind of stuff).

In a way, the world of internet societies allows us all to be rejected by more people than ever before, in more walks of life and over a greater distance, but none of the basic dynamics have changed at all.

There are probably more social fads now than then, as in "recent scientific discovery that you can get laid twice as fast if you play the game thus and such a way." That can make it seem that there's more deception going on now, but really, it's just that we're all a little more aware of what's always been true.

There were fads about how we should discard our just-okay mates back in the "olden days" just as there is now. I read some ancient "dear john" letters, written to soldiers fighting World War One, and they said exactly the same kind of things that people say now when they dump someone. The same "I deserve more happiness" blather and so on. So I don't see where people have really changed more than their clothing styles.

Tom4Uhere's photo
Fri 05/26/17 05:30 AM



Online dating. yup, i've hit rock bottom ha ha. Man, was it ever this hard to find love in the old days?

Considering that yesterday is an old day - YES.

Yesterday was a recent day... the old days refers to some time before our's!

Not really understanding the whole concept of past, present and future then, eh?

Tom4Uhere's photo
Fri 05/26/17 05:41 AM
was it ever this hard to find love

In the past, people were not as instantly gratified.
People tended to put more effort into building a relationship, taking time and making sure before committing.
Currently we live in a world where we are used to getting what we want right away. If we are required to work for it, there must be something wrong?


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