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| Topic: Masculine Input/Opinion | |
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Boy! Did I start a battle of the sexes in my last thread, Feminine Input. That was NOT my intent. As I wrote in that thread, I delight in the differences between men and women. However, I am trying to compile information to bridge the gap in our manners of communication, if possible.
The question I pose to the men on this site is this: What are the things that most drive you nuts about women when it comes to our way of communicating? What is it about women you would most like an honest answer to? One of the most frequently asked is, "Why do women go to the bathroom in groups?" What key to understanding a woman do you think would be most helpful to you? |
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I always thought that women went to the bathroom in groups so that they could talk about us men
 But one thing I could never figure out is: What do women really want? Do they need us for anything but making babies anymore? 
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Well, in my opinion, what women want is going to vary from woman to woman. Just like you men, we all want different things. Sorry, can't give you a better answer than that.
But, I think men and women want the same things, someone who loves and accepts them as they are and someone to share their lives with. Someone to laugh with and cry with and just BE with. Actually, with me and my girlfriends going to the bathroom together, it's (a) so we don't have to walk through a bar or something by ourselves, (b) so we have someone to tell us if we have lipstick on our teeth; and (c) so we can talk about you men  j/k on the last
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Well I agree..we go to the bathroom together so we don't have to walk by ourselves!! Plus to make sure that our lipstick is ok, if they wear it!! I am really the only one in our bunch that is putting on lipstick all the time, my friends could care less!!
What I want from a guys is this...just be my friend. Lets not try to change each other. I am my own person just as they are. I want time with my friends just like they want time with their friends....thats not to say that they can't come once in awhile, BUT I do want some time alone with the girls!! They don't need to be with me ALL the time, I do need my space!! |
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Probably off the mark, but does anyone know why the younger women want to 'act' like men these days. I see these 'gangsta' girls swaggering and pickin fights like some adolecent back alley 'dude', what's goin' on there?
 Aside from that, I 'have' a good woman. I think as long as you 'enter her world' and love her as Christ loved the church (meaning even when she doesn't make sense) that you don't have to 'understand' it all.  |
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Love you gals by the way
 'Unsure' & SuzinVA made simple good points.
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Love you gals by the way
'Unsure' & SuzinVA made simple good points.
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nuenjins sounds like your girlfriend is very lucky to have a boyfriend like you!!
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nuenjins sounds like your girlfriend is very lucky to have a boyfriend like you!! She is 
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yes one questions not all woman but some do not want to own up to their actions but expect the man to apologize when they were not in the wrong. Just personal experiance in no way did i mean all women
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Oh dear !!
Maybe it is cultural... I have been going to the bathroom by myself since I was 2 and a bit... As to blaming others, for my actions, nope, it comes back to bite me if I try that... Younger women, taking on more masculine 'roles?', they are flooded with characters that are tough, hardarse heroines... there are no Doris Day types in the world of young people anymore...
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yes one questions not all woman but some do not want to own up to their actions but expect the man to apologize when they were not in the wrong. Just personal experiance in no way did i mean all women I had one of those...AND married her. Young and dumb  It pays to have boundaries and standards to hold on to.
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What are the things that most drive you nuts about women when it comes to our way of communicating?
Forgive me and/or slap me down for my generalizations here. Women are master communicators, with each other anyway. There are all sorts of visual and verbal cues that women pick up on that men are oblivious to because, well, we're dunderheads. I don't find fault with the way women communicate at all, it's beautiful, or with the intensity of communication that comes with your affections, but I do find that in a relationship oftentimes the demand for it seems burdensome to a male if he's expected to keep up over a long period of time, say months or years. Here's the reason: the man needs something to talk about, a reason to speak, a story to share, the woman doesn't necessarily. Again, generalizing, the act of sharing, of just talking about anything, of expressing emotions, of bond-forming, seems to be what motivates women's communications, whereas men's attempts are more of an epic narrative. Why do you think we tend to watch sports (not that I do)? A beginning, rising drama, a climax... And if a man spends all his time with a woman, at some point he's already told her everything he's gonna tell that's 'happened', and nothing new is happening to him that she wasn't present for. The woman starts to wonder 'why you don't talk to me like you used to' and the man gets frustrated and resentful because he feels stifled, and communicates LESS. My advice in this situation would be to let your man go. Seriously. We're little boys in this regard: once we get the freedom to adventure, we'll get lost and lonely and miss you and come back in, like, a day or two (or is that just me?). And if not, you were wasting your time with us anyway. What is it about women you would most like an honest answer to? Why are you often attracted to men who are so obviously going to mistreat you and make you unhappy? Are you just hard-wired to find the 'bad' boy so sexy? At what point are you going to stop assuring that this behavior continues by rewarding it (aka giving them what they want)? Seriously, ladies, unite as a gender and cut them off. I bet within a decade, they start sending you flowers and calling just to let you know they were thinking about you. |
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Edited by
nuenjins
on
Mon 11/26/07 07:19 AM
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What are the things that most drive you nuts about women when it comes to our way of communicating? Forgive me and/or slap me down for my generalizations here. Women are master communicators, with each other anyway. There are all sorts of visual and verbal cues that women pick up on that men are oblivious to because, well, we're dunderheads. I don't find fault with the way women communicate at all, it's beautiful, or with the intensity of communication that comes with your affections, but I do find that in a relationship oftentimes the demand for it seems burdensome to a male if he's expected to keep up over a long period of time, say months or years. Here's the reason: the man needs something to talk about, a reason to speak, a story to share, the woman doesn't necessarily. Again, generalizing, the act of sharing, of just talking about anything, of expressing emotions, of bond-forming, seems to be what motivates women's communications, whereas men's attempts are more of an epic narrative. Why do you think we tend to watch sports (not that I do)? A beginning, rising drama, a climax... And if a man spends all his time with a woman, at some point he's already told her everything he's gonna tell that's 'happened', and nothing new is happening to him that she wasn't present for. The woman starts to wonder 'why you don't talk to me like you used to' and the man gets frustrated and resentful because he feels stifled, and communicates LESS. My advice in this situation would be to let your man go. Seriously. We're little boys in this regard: once we get the freedom to adventure, we'll get lost and lonely and miss you and come back in, like, a day or two (or is that just me?). And if not, you were wasting your time with us anyway. What is it about women you would most like an honest answer to? Why are you often attracted to men who are so obviously going to mistreat you and make you unhappy? Are you just hard-wired to find the 'bad' boy so sexy? At what point are you going to stop assuring that this behavior continues by rewarding it (aka giving them what they want)? Seriously, ladies, unite as a gender and cut them off. I bet within a decade, they start sending you flowers and calling just to let you know they were thinking about you. I don't type that well, glad 'somebody' said it. 
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Muddle: Wow! What insite you have lent me, and I dare say so many other women. Thank you for your comment!
And yes, I agree with you wholeheartedly...women (usually) do not have to have a "reason" to share their thoughts, opinions, or questions. So, it looks to me like it would behoove a man to accept that fact and adapt accordingly. By the same token, I, personally, am trying to accept the fact that my husband (who is terminally male) is not a "talker," nor will he ever be. I believe it is so important for a man to ENCOURAGE the woman in his life to network with other women and have a very active and fulfilling life with other women. Think about it....if we have had an opportunity to vent, question, cry, and express ourselves, you *men* get the defused, reduced vocabulary volume of the woman you share your life with. What's not good about that? Addressing your queary concerning women being drawn to the "bad boy," I can lend only my humble opinion. It is a fact that most women are drawn to that type of persona....for a season. I believe it is is the stark contrast which draws us in for further investigation. Many women (including myself) want very much to be protected and cherished. The oftentimes misleading personality of the rebel tends to make us believe that this type of man is not only capable, but willing to offer us the security we long for. The truth of the matter is this: (as I see it) Women want the best of both worlds. We want a "manly man" who is able to be as sensitive as a woman. Unfortunately, that creature does not exist. As a GENERAL rule, the bad boys fight diligently against showing any sign of "weakness," which is also known to them as emotion/sensitivity. And, the sensitive men GENERALLY are unable to "pull off" the tough guy role believably. Acceptance is the name of the game. Let me accentuate the characteristics I love about you, and you do the same for me. Focus on the positive rather than the negative. The way I see it.......if we were EXACTLY alike...one of us is unnecessasry!
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Women do need to be more open to communication with a man...in most instances.
Men can't read minds...just tell us honestly what is on your mind. Sometimes it is like pulling teeth to get at what is bothering a woman. Just tell us!! |
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I'm one of those guys that knows and I'm not telling.
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I'm a geek, manly, artistic. I wear alot of hats, but it's all ME. I know martial arts and can drop a guy twice my size but I cried when Spider man lost his best friendHarry in SM3.
I think the tough guy thing is boring,a guy who tries to keep that up is probably 'mysterious' to a woman and therefore intrigueing (I know I didn't spell that right). But when it comes down to it I think those guys are just hiding, hence the 'player' tag. Just a thought. |
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I'm a geek, manly, artistic. I wear alot of hats, but it's all ME. I know martial arts and can drop a guy twice my size but I cried when Spider man lost his best friendHarry in SM3. I think the tough guy thing is boring,a guy who tries to keep that up is probably 'mysterious' to a woman and therefore intrigueing (I know I didn't spell that right). But when it comes down to it I think those guys are just hiding, hence the 'player' tag. Just a thought. Well put! Confidence is SUPER sexy!! |
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Edited by
Mimx
on
Mon 11/26/07 11:22 AM
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I'm a geek, manly, artistic. I wear alot of hats, but it's all ME. I know martial arts and can drop a guy twice my size but I cried when Spider man lost his best friendHarry in SM3. I think the tough guy thing is boring,a guy who tries to keep that up is probably 'mysterious' to a woman and therefore intrigueing (I know I didn't spell that right). But when it comes down to it I think those guys are just hiding, hence the 'player' tag. Just a thought. Well put! Confidence is SUPER sexy!! I don't think its confidence that attracts a woman. Its flawed. You can have confidence, but it also comes with ego. If you fuel both for too long you get a egocentric over confident ass. I believe its charisma that draws all the ladies near. Once you are able to get past yourself and just accept what you are, then you can attract anyone that you want. |
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