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| Topic: which is worst? | |
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losing someone you love as a result of betrayal (cheating) or losing someone you love by natural causes (death) ?
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some are more lucky than others but it just scares me to know that some good things never last
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for me, I think betrayal would be harder
because EVERYONE dies, it isnt their choice, so the inevitability would be easier to deal with than someone choosing to betray me,,,, |
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msharmony, Believe me,until you have experienced the loss of someone close to you through death, you will never know the amount of grief that pours out of you,only then will you realize how much that person meant to you,someone betraying you is an inevitable consequence of a relationship that for one person isn't working-that you can get over and get on with your life,accept the fact that you have been betrayed,
yes EVERYONE dies,that is a statement of fact,even for you and I,are we to assume by your take on this matter,that you would rather have someone die on you,rather than betray you,I think not, you will find that this is a very emotive subject for many people, after reading this you may actually feel the same, and that is your right, but for me-I am unable to agree with you. |
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Losing someone coz of death~
Coz I don't care bout those who betray me~ |
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Yes losing someone to death because if someone cheated on me that's the end of any relationship with them.
I would cut of all ties. |
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Which is worst: cutting your finger or bruising your toe?
You cannot compare, nor should you. As for good things not lasting... Not everyone betrays you. Maybe one did, then you musn't project this onto others. Sure things may not last, but usually that is a good thing. Relationships don't end because they were so good. They end because something wasn't good. Isn't it wonderful you can end it and start afresh? 100 years ago this wouldn't have been possible. Just think of the suffering ppl have gone through for centuries, being stuck with a partner who was bad to them, no option to leave other than death. And yes, it is mostly woman who has suffered. I'm happy we now have the right to choose. Don't make that a bad thing! Be glad for it. 
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Edited by
lu_rosemary
on
Fri 07/14/17 06:57 AM
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Death for sure..
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Death, of course...
unless you murder them for cheating... Then you cheated the Grim Reaper... Who may cheat you out of a quick death... Im sorry, what was the question again? 
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Which is worse;
Looking for the negative or Propagating the negative? |
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losing somebody loyal to you to death is far worse.
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Edited by
Duttoneer
on
Fri 07/14/17 08:30 AM
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Personally, I think the loss of a partner though death or divorce would feel the same in terms of grief, but I have only experienced divorce of a spouse. Everyone is different, but from scientific studies the death of a spouse is ranked far worse than divorce, in resulting life changes, stress level and the effects on health, with rates of 100 and 73 respectively, with the death of a close family member rated at 63. http://www.stressmanagement.co.uk/stress/life-events.html |
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Death sucks bad.
Cheating not much better but a bit I guess. |
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As with so many things, it's far more complicated than such a simple version of the question suggests.
I have experienced loss of relatives by natural death, loss of close friends by murder, and loss of both friends and mates, by depraved and intentional betrayal. All of it hurt ME very deeply. Nothing is EASY to deal with. But in my particular experience, the betrayal was vastly more damaging. There is betrayal, and then there is betrayal, after all. If the particular betrayal you experience is that someone lied to you once, for example, even if the lie was a nasty one, that's very different from someone building an entire false life with you, and then pointedly tearing it apart in front of you as a sort of ego boost for themselves. The deaths I have experienced, all left my sense of the world and what life means, entirely intact. The betrayal I chanced to suffer, tore all of my understandings of everything from affection, to respect, to simple friendship, entirely to shreds, and turned it all into clear reasons to distrust and dislike myself. So I would vote for betrayal being potentially worse. By far. |
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thank you all for your thoughts. it has helped me analyze how i should feel and approach loss...that it is always inevitable in one form or another and we still have the freedom to choose how and when to be happy once we have moved on.
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losing someone you love as a result of betrayal (cheating) or losing someone you love by natural causes (death) ? Both gives us worst feelings. Betrayal has a damaging effect psychologically which could sometimes affect our confidence and how we deal with people in the future. Though for others , they can easily get over the feeling of loss in betrayal and just move on with life and choose to be happy. It may hurt but then you still have a chance to find someone better and may totally forget the old pain as a new love could heal you. But death, this will bring a lifetime sorrow , as you cannot replace that person you lost. You may get over the grief but the absence of that person in your life will always be felt, it's simply irreplaceable. |
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losing yourself in loving someone
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losing yourself in loving someone this would be another very painful topic 
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it is indeed
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As with so many things, it's far more complicated than such a simple version of the question suggests. I have experienced loss of relatives by natural death, loss of close friends by murder, and loss of both friends and mates, by depraved and intentional betrayal. All of it hurt ME very deeply. Nothing is EASY to deal with. But in my particular experience, the betrayal was vastly more damaging. There is betrayal, and then there is betrayal, after all. If the particular betrayal you experience is that someone lied to you once, for example, even if the lie was a nasty one, that's very different from someone building an entire false life with you, and then pointedly tearing it apart in front of you as a sort of ego boost for themselves. The deaths I have experienced, all left my sense of the world and what life means, entirely intact. The betrayal I chanced to suffer, tore all of my understandings of everything from affection, to respect, to simple friendship, entirely to shreds, and turned it all into clear reasons to distrust and dislike myself. So I would vote for betrayal being potentially worse. By far. Igor, I totally understand your take on this,I have been betrayed by Friends, Workmates, Women, and have lost friends and Family members from the self same circumstances you have mentioned,but believe me my friend, NOTHING compares to the utter devastation of loosing your lifelong partner,the pain is unbearable, it takes a long long time to recover, and the only other people who understand what you are going through,are those who have had the same experience,after that betrayal just pale's into insignificance. |
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