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Topic: Rejection?
gtabasco87's photo
Mon 09/18/17 02:15 AM
It's such a taboo word that invokes a lot of hurt feelings for some and anger for others.

But what do you all do?

Example, person A is interested in you and introduces but you have ZERO interest in this person. Not even as a friend. They're that much of a put off. Do you straight out reject them or let them off easy?

Example 2, person B is a wonderful friend but you have no interest in them for romantically or sexually. What do you do?

Example 3, person C is a great friend and you are interested in them, but you know that your personalities will clash in a horrendous battle on numerous occasions. Do you try it out and hope it goes well?

I am interested in how you all interact in this.

Stu's photo
Mon 09/18/17 02:47 AM
Wow, it may be a bit early to try and respond to this. Still in a fog. Mind if I get back to you? This is some heavy stuff and I'd like to see others response's myself.

Guess the short of it for now is I have been in very few relationship's simply for fear of rejection and extremely low self esteem.

no photo
Mon 09/18/17 05:21 AM
a just say so as politely as possible but as forcefully as needed

b say so honestly and if it hurts the friendship then it wasn't much of a friendship so no lost sleep.

c tough one depending on mutual interest might go for it for short term any way but prolly not

peggy122's photo
Mon 09/18/17 10:33 AM
Ive experienced all 3 scenarios and in the end I had to kindly say no to all of them.

Attempting friendships/relationships where the affection is not mutual or whem the personalities are clashing from upfront, often bring unnecessary tension to both people's lives eventually.
I would politely say no in all 3 scenaios.

If someone doesnt feel like a blessing to you either as a friend or mate, maybe they should be gently released so they can be a blessing to someone else and that person can be a blessing to them as well.

There are several other ways to approach these situations ofcourse but the above response would be my own

peggy122's photo
Mon 09/18/17 10:33 AM
Edited by peggy122 on Mon 09/18/17 10:35 AM


Attempting friendships/relationships where the affection is not mutual or whem the personalities are clashing from upfront, often bring unnecessary tension to both people's lives eventually.
I would politely say no in all 3 scenaios.

If someone doesnt feel like a blessing to you either as a friend or mate, maybe they should be gently released so they can be a blessing to someone else and that person can be a blessing to them as well.

There are several other ways to approach these situations ofcourse but the above response would be my own

Stu's photo
Mon 09/18/17 01:00 PM

Ive experienced all 3 scenarios and in the end I had to kindly say no to all of them.

Attempting friendships/relationships where the affection is not mutual or whem the personalities are clashing from upfront, often bring unnecessary tension to both people's lives eventually.
I would politely say no in all 3 scenaios.

If someone doesnt feel like a blessing to you either as a friend or mate, maybe they should be gently released so they can be a blessing to someone else and that person can be a blessing to them as well.

There are several other ways to approach these situations ofcourse but the above response would be my own


Well put.

no photo
Mon 09/18/17 01:20 PM
A: If I have zero interest as a friend that means I really would not care about sparing feelings.

B: I'd be honest. If they are such a wonderful friend they'll appreciate the honesty. If not, oh well...

C: I've long since passed the point where inviting inevitable conflict into my life is even a remote thought.

peggy122's photo
Mon 09/18/17 02:05 PM


Ive experienced all 3 scenarios and in the end I had to kindly say no to all of them.

Attempting friendships/relationships where the affection is not mutual or whem the personalities are clashing from upfront, often bring unnecessary tension to both people's lives eventually.
I would politely say no in all 3 scenaios.

If someone doesnt feel like a blessing to you either as a friend or mate, maybe they should be gently released so they can be a blessing to someone else and that person can be a blessing to them as well.

There are several other ways to approach these situations ofcourse but the above response would be my own


Well put.



Thanks Stu! drinker

Stu's photo
Mon 09/18/17 02:10 PM



Ive experienced all 3 scenarios and in the end I had to kindly say no to all of them.

Attempting friendships/relationships where the affection is not mutual or whem the personalities are clashing from upfront, often bring unnecessary tension to both people's lives eventually.
I would politely say no in all 3 scenaios.

If someone doesnt feel like a blessing to you either as a friend or mate, maybe they should be gently released so they can be a blessing to someone else and that person can be a blessing to them as well.

There are several other ways to approach these situations ofcourse but the above response would be my own


Well put.



Thanks Stu! drinker


You're most welcome drinker

IgorFrankensteen's photo
Mon 09/18/17 02:46 PM
This is possibly the most applicable situation to apply the idea "do unto others in the manner that you would like for them to do unto you."

So. Would YOU want to be led to believe that you had a chance with someone, just because they don't want to make THEMSELVES uncomfortable by letting you know?

Would YOU want someone to choose a method to let you know this, which was rude, arrogant, or self-righteous, or insulting?

Or would you like others to let you know in a timely and a respectful manner, that they are looking for someone else, so that you can move on in your own search with grace?

For myself, I prefer to know quickly and politely. I have less time on this planet to mess around waiting for someone else to get the courage to say "no thank you," every day.

no photo
Mon 09/18/17 03:18 PM

It's such a taboo word that invokes a lot of hurt feelings for some and anger for others.But what do you all do?Example, person A is interested in you and introduces but you have ZERO interest in this person. Not even as a friend. They're that much of a put off. Do you straight out reject them or let them off easy?Example 2, person B is a wonderful friend but you have no interest in them for romantically or sexually. What do you do?Example 3, person C is a great friend and you are interested in them, but you know that your personalities will clash in a horrendous battle on numerous occasions. Do you try it out and hope it goes well?I am interested in how you all interact in this.

cant relate. never been rejected.

no photo
Mon 09/18/17 03:19 PM
Say "ok" and walk away. If online what does it matter. What are the chances that your gonna really meet anyone in real life on a dating forum. I have met real people on general forums though. I have coffee with a guy and his wife in Buffalo whenever im in the area.

Meeting friends on a general forum when your not looking to date is easy after you been around for a bit. My phone s loaded with numbers of buddies all over the US,,,girls and guys, but we are just buds.

Rejection in a dating forum will happen I guess. Dont worry about it. Your a young person and a a nice looking young gal. You'll find a nice guy I am sure. Just give it time.

Have patience grasshopper. ha

no1phD's photo
Mon 09/18/17 03:32 PM
I am the king of rejection receiving and giving..ohhh.. it's so painful to have to tell someone thanks but no thanks..
And it's equally as painful.. to hear thanksl but no thanks.. luckily for me I don't have a heart anymore so it doesn't really hurt as much as it used to...lol

no1phD's photo
Mon 09/18/17 03:34 PM
Edited by no1phD on Mon 09/18/17 03:35 PM
Awww.. why no heart !!??PhD..
Glad you asked..lol.. because when one person rejects you so many times pushes you away keeps you at arm's distance..
Over and over again..well.. at some Point your heart just grows cold shrivels up and turns to dust..yup...

maybwecan's photo
Mon 09/18/17 08:35 PM

It's such a taboo word that invokes a lot of hurt feelings for some and anger for others.

But what do you all do?

Example, person A is interested in you and introduces but you have ZERO interest in this person. Not even as a friend. They're that much of a put off. Do you straight out reject them or let them off easy?

Example 2, person B is a wonderful friend but you have no interest in them for romantically or sexually. What do you do?

Example 3, person C is a great friend and you are interested in them, but you know that your personalities will clash in a horrendous battle on numerous occasions. Do you try it out and hope it goes well?

I am interested in how you all interact in this.


Can we agree on this - for each of your examples, you can compose a simple straightforward sentence which unambiguously says to the other person "thanks but no thanks" and leaves no room for doubt...

But if you choose not to be so straightforward...one or more conceivable responses include - "i think she left the door open for us" or "hmmm she didn't really say no way" or "maybe there's hope for me yet" or "she didn't really mean it" or "i iknow she'll stay if i threaten to hurt myself"...

take your pick...

Tom4Uhere's photo
Mon 09/18/17 08:36 PM
Ultimate Rejection: You're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.

williamsoe's photo
Mon 09/18/17 09:15 PM

It's such a taboo word that invokes a lot of hurt feelings for some and anger for others.

But what do you all do?

Example, person A is interested in you and introduces but you have ZERO interest in this person. Not even as a friend. They're that much of a put off. Do you straight out reject them or let them off easy?

Example 2, person B is a wonderful friend but you have no interest in them for romantically or sexually. What do you do?

Example 3, person C is a great friend and you are interested in them, but you know that your personalities will clash in a horrendous battle on numerous occasions. Do you try it out and hope it goes well?

I am interested in how you all interact in this.

I think, in case A. Sometimes is good to wait because u can't judge a book with its cover. In case B, what matters in relationship is communication, u can always make ur point known to ur friend. Discuss ur ideas, I believe there will be common goal at last. In case C, its like committing suicide, I think the best is to change direction.

MrRam318's photo
Mon 09/18/17 11:22 PM

Ultimate Rejection: You're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.

That's not rejection...that's just called.... "The Stranger"
explode

no photo
Mon 09/18/17 11:25 PM

I am the king of rejection receiving and giving..ohhh.. it's so painful to have to tell someone thanks but no thanks..
And it's equally as painful.. to hear thanksl but no thanks.. luckily for me I don't have a heart anymore so it doesn't really hurt as much as it used to...lol


I was with my ex earlier and said no. "Im tired of being used as a stuff monkey. Go out and get another guy already". ha

no photo
Mon 09/18/17 11:27 PM

Ultimate Rejection: You're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.


Maybe I can help a bit. Ever give a wet willie to your classmates when you was a kid. Yup....Get it? HA

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