in your opinion, which kind of relationship lasts ?people who are opposites in character or people who are so similar? love , understanding, respect and kindness exists in both relationships too.... so which one do you think will stand the test of time?

Similar in character I think would last longer though I believe mutual understanding, respect, and thoughtfulness make a big difference.

I believe two lovers must at first be friends. Friendship in a romantic relationship always lasts longer. I say this because most of the time we think we own our partner which creates unreasonable expectations and reduce our receptiveness. Friends usually avoid thinking like that. They respect eachother's independence and boundaries. They listen to eachother and provide support without being judgemental. The worst part of a relationship, I think, is when one cannot talk easily to his/her partner because he/she's afraid of him/her being all overprotective, judgemental, and overreacting.

I think the best statement you could hear in a relationship is "I'm so happy I have found a person like you that I could share everything that happens in my life with and you being supportive and all."

similar enough to relate to each other, but different enough to inspire each other and keep it interesting ...

Correct. Thanks, I was trying to think how to put it.

I think the whole idea of opposites attracting got overblown because of the "fun" of imagining that it was true, rather than because of any real factual observations.

I think that as usual, reality is sort of boring, in a way. People get along best, when what they want, is what their mate gives them.

What that is, can be "sneaky" sometimes, as in not immediately obvious, hence some of the notions like opposites attracting. And it can get more confusing, when you add in the factor that many of us don't correctly IDENTIFY what we want, for a long time.

You might think you want someone strong, for example, and because you don't completely understand what "strong" looks like, you can lose a lot of time chasing people who are actually violent, or paranoid, or even just hung up on weightlifting.

Some people who are similar, find each other boring because of the similarities. Others find that comforting.

Actual opposites attracting seems to be very rare. Most of the time, when you look closely, you find that the so-called opposites are not so at all.

thanks guys... it seems it should be a mixture of both then...maybe we should just have to be clear about our differences and similarities to make the relationship work and last a longer time. compromise on how our minds are going to meet in the middle and get rid of conflicts that destroys the love.

yep all of one or the other tends to not work so well.
the differences tend to get you to try new stuff but the similarities give the comfort and closeness

The thing is skeptical, you can't know that ANY kind of relationship will last until it actually lasts, which literally takes a lifetime to find out.

In my opinion opposite personalities and lifestyles can actually work if the couple has a deep connection, mutual respect and understanding, and a huge capacity for compromise.

The only things I think that CANT be opposite in a relationship, are major goals and values. With opposite personalities and lifestyles, compromises can sometimes be made, but Im not sure that you can compromise the values and goals that are dear to your heart, without hating yourself or the other person in the end.

that is very true Peggy major beliefs and integrity cannot really be compromised . thanks for bringing that up

I am alone so there obviously isn't a type for me. I'm too strange, too different so nobody really relates.
As for others, I'm really easy to get along with. I can usually blend with nearly anyone as long as they have some morals and values that coincide with mine.
What I don't do well is play those games where someone tries to manipulate me to try to force me to do something I don't want to do.
While I can let someone be themselves and accept them, I have yet to meet anyone that can accept me and let me be myself.

Could be both, depends on karma :))

I've done the opposites attract thing. The beginning was good and exciting. But over time the differences were just to much for both of us. Next time I want someone who shares my interests.

Intelligent conversation on goals in life and what's his values! Tall , and clean hygiene.

What Peggy said

Major goals, beliefs, morals have to be, if not the same, than enough similar so they won't be the source of problems, as a matter of fact it can be just the opposite, something that connects you even when other minor things are difficult to deal with.

There can be differences in our interests, who says we have to be the same - but I think it's better to have at least one, maybe two mutual interests - that keep us working as a team and strengthen the bond.

I would surely go for good old golden middle way.

Have a great day, Sceptical

Hmm... that's a good question I'm struggling with this dilemma myself is it best to be with somebody similar as yourself or somebody totally opposite..

Example one person is strong emotionally the other person emotionally weak sensitive touchy feely...
The sensitive one is strong as well but just shows sensitivity more openly.. then the other person... sometimes that can be irritating for the other person having a partner that is maybe overly sensitive sometimes... but then again shouldn't two people be who they are.. do you really want to go through life not being Who You Are.. are being with a partner that can't accept who you are sometimes.. I would rather be with a partner that would think my sensitivity my romantic side my vulnerable side is endearing. Rather than a hindrance a irritation

.sooo.. what color of hair do you want me to put on your Android lover for you

Lol.. I crack myself up sometimes..
Come on you walked right into that one..lol.wink.jk

..lol.. she was doing rather well hanging in there so to speak. Taking everything I could throw at her.. but sadly like so many before her she deflated from Pure exhaustion.. LOL

Right now it would help if you visualize a little puppy dog humping the milk man's leg..lmao.. and it would help even more if this didn't end up at the top of the page LOL

blondey and doc i am so laughing right now but i dont know why exactly lol...