There are dating coaches who recommend women to practice circular dating: dating more than 1 guy until she has a commitment from one of them.
The idea is to not put all your eggs in one basket and to not get committed/attached until a man commits --> Women tend to get committed and attached too soon and end up loving/wanting a man who never really wants her in turn.
If you're intimate, you are intimate with 1 guy only.

Now I'm not sure how I feel about this concept.

GIRLS: I'm wondering if there are women who do this...
If so, how do you deal with the intimacy part of it? I'm quite sure after 2-3 dates a man would want a kiss. I consider kissing to be intimate. I'd find it difficult to date let's say 4 men, and end up kissing them all.

GUYS: wondering how men feel about it when the woman they're dating is dating other(s) too?
Would you accept it if you were really into her? Would it make you feel you'd have to not 'linger' too long or else you'd lose her to another guy?
Would it make you want her less or more?

Met this guy two weeks ago. I liked his sense of humour and he appeared to enjoy mine. It was a professional context and had to lighten the mood by cracking jokes. He asked for my number, I gave it. He kept calling me for a week so I decided to go on a first date. Because I was nervous, I asked if it was okay to have a few drinks before going to the movies. We ditched the movies, went out and had wild sex. Problem is I buy the drinks and now I feel I set the wrong tone. Now I dont know whether he likes me for me or for buying drinks...#ugh

Pretty much the same as Delightful for me. I've never been able to date more than one guy at a time. I've thought about it, I heard it was healthy and recommended, it's just doesn't work for me. And I definitely am not okay with kissing a guy one night and then another the next night.

Like Delightful, online chatting with more than one seems acceptable and I do, but if I were to meet someone I was chatting with and it seemed like it might develop into more, my focus would be more on that that.

I'd continue being friends with those I'm already friends with, but wouldn't be interested in developing new friendships with other men while I was exploring the potential relationship.

I believe what ever works for you is what you need to do, regardless of what is recommended by others. Being true to yourself leads to being true to others and attracts those who are also true to their self into your life.

I would only date those who felt the same way.

What master mind dreamed this up? Probably some cuck marxist no doubt.

actually i think it is a reasonable idea. tho crystal i would have to say move the intimate bar a little further out. after all most hug and kiss dear friends or family with out qualm. now i do agree with p and di that the pace might get to be a bit much. to that i would suggest that once you are spending that much time out on dates you should prolly already have settled on one. but as di says even here there are multiple interactions going on at once. so a bit of face time with those wouldn't be any more amiss. this could also help to slow the guys' tendency to want to rush to ultimate intimacy. after all dating is the precursor and learning part to a committed relationship. not the committed relationship itself.

Omg women and men have been doing that for years... It's called casual dating...

Myself I don't deal with more then one at a time... I would for sure call them by someone else name...

I prefer dating as simple and drama free as possible~~~~

Can't even get one, let alone multiples.....

I wouldn't want to juggle women.. I'll stick to one, if it ever happens.

maybe in HOLLYWOOD where it seems like they have all kinds of time on their hands, and I wonder why?

I guess it is all about how one perceives 'dating'

for some dating means there is a level of intimacy involved, or else its just 'hanging out'

so, by that definition, I would not 'date' more than one guy, the idea of something being intimate and common do not coincide with me ... it is rare, exclusive, special ...etc

I would however 'hang out' with more than one until any of them crossed the line to 'intimacy' in which case, I would make sure none of the others did ...

Sure when women date more than one guy it's called . Circular dating..


When I date more than one woman I'm called a jackass and a jerk...lol


You women have a loophole for everything..lol

I thought for guys it was called "sowing your oats"?

Or maybe that just applies to being intimate with more than one?

Speaking on behalf of myself only...

I had a period in life where I was jealous. It was initiated from a fear of losing someone. Knowing that I was a guy, I understood how guys work.

How can I expect a woman, who is not exclusive to me, not pursue other interests?
Intimacy is reserved for somebody special. It is that 'next step' that defines when exclusive exists.
At my age and the age range of women I am interested in meeting, we all have a wide range of both male and female participants in our lives.

Its not like high school where if I saw her with another man, I gotta freak out. Those games no longer hold meaning.

If she is seeing other men, she isn't immediately a slut to be avoided, she is a normal woman that has not determined if I am the right man for her yet.

If I feel she might be the right woman for me, its my job to let her know that and to work that much harder to win her love.

If she is dating around, I am obviously not giving her something she desires. She probably likes me, a lot, due to the fact that she does date me and spend time with me.

I can look at it a few ways.
I am failing to commit to her.
She is failing to commit to me.
Neither of us are willing to commit to anyone.

There is something missing in our interactions. Something she seeks, needs, wants or is looking for in others. If I find out what it is and provide it, she might choose me.

That all depends on whether I am looking to settle down with someone or just looking for someone to do something with. Every date does not have to be a commitment or dedication.

It all boils down to the simplest question.
She either wants to be with me right now or not.

When in a relationship, she will meet women that I know and I will meet men that she knows. She should understand that no matter which woman she meets that I know, I choose her above the others.
I also need to remember that for all the men in her life, she chooses me above the others.

All I want to know about this circular dating..is... do I put name tags on them or just simply a number...
Lol....1* 2* 3 *...6 9 ..lol..

You don't get to put tags on anything. You're a man. Well, unless the man is a player or commitment phobe and thus dates a gazillion women.

Thank you! I really appreciate your reply. I feel this is how it should go.

It is tricky, isn't it! I've thought about it several times when I first came across the concept.
The reason why I couldn't is exactly the reason one should have, haha: getting too loyal and committed too early on.
There's a lot of truth to the fact that women tend to feel they're in a committed relationship while there has been no commitment from the man in question at all (yet).
And there's quite the risk of putting all your eggs in one basket when you shouldn't do that yet. You may waste years with a guy who's not committed, then having to start all over again. If you then do the same thing, you may end up being 80 and still not having found the right guy, yet have made about 10 one-way commitments to 10 different guys over the years.
In spite of knowing that, I just couldn't.
.
.
.

I could understand and appreciate that if a woman is specifically looking to get married and live a specific life and lifestyle, that is a goal she has thoughtfully and mindfully chosen as the purpose of her dating.
Thereby having come up with specific rules of behavior for herself that she adheres to by turning it into a process with a specific goal.

It's going to be a different lifestyle, approach, logistics, compartmentalization and label system, values, behavior, whatever, between that and women that are more like "I just want to see what's out there," or, "I'm tired of being alone and just want a relationship with a good guy," or, "I'm just looking to date and get to know someone, see if we're compatible," or, "I just want to have some fun, go out, date."


That's not really true.
Women tend to overestimate their shallow bonds, believing they're deeper than they are. No different than men overestimating their abilities and value.

Women don't "end up" anything. That makes it seem like they are victims to themselves.
A woman can "believe" she loves/wants a man who never really wants her in turn, but it's rationalizing and delusion at best.
Something else is going on. She wants to victimize herself, or avoid another problem, is attempting to validate her self worth by irrationally believing her emotions are deeper and more meaningful than they are.


I don't really feel too much about it unless I'm looking for more than a chance to get laid.
If so I won't be dating them and will find an alternative.
Same with women who are dating/in relationships with multiple men where they are delusional and call it "just friends."

It kinda depends at what point they tell me they are dating multiple people though.
Is it on their dating profile? Or first date? I don't feel much.
2 weeks, months, years in and it's a "oh yeah, I should tell you..." then I feel frustrated and annoyed, partly at myself for not figuring it out before.
Is it after a while and she's all: "I really didn't want to tell you, I've been hiding it, but now I think I should tell you..." then I probably feel a little angry, hurt, and annoyed.

Other than that, IME women who date a bunch of guys tend to be the easiest to have sex with.
IME women with a lot of different emotional stimulation tend to be unable to handle it so make increasingly poor decisions.
Get them feeling sexually frustrated, get them seeing a bunch of guys trying to figure out what a bunch of different guys are thinking or feeling, it's easy to have an "oops, it just happened!" moment.
To channel it into something they can directly control; sex.
If you're not a doormat or pretend "nice guy" or pseudo "gentleman" it's not difficult to make that mistake be you.
Also, IME, a lot of guys do what I just described motivated subconsciously.


Doubtful.
But depends on how she presented it to me, her personality, what I knew about her, and exactly how "really into her" I am, and why.
I can only go by past experience.
So far, I have not accepted it.
But I am well aware that past performance does not guarantee future results.


No. I'd feel I already lost her.
Otherwise, that I didn't really know her. I only knew her as she is having been "fluffed" by a bunch of different guys.

That's the thing about the romantic bonding process.
To a significant degree it changes the brain. Personality, values, perspective, whatever.
She is who she is because she has all these other guys in her life, interacting with her, bonding with her, on a romantic level, causing significant change, eliciting significant emotions.

If we commit, then that will change who she is.
If she stops seeing all those other guys, the bonding process with them ends, reverses, she goes back to who she was before she was "fluffed" by all these other guys, and she also has to start over with just me, whereas I've already started the process so will be at a different point.

Or she tries to play the "just friends" game with some to all of the other guys, and our bond changes her, changes her values, changes what she wants, changes her personality and perspective, towards these guys, which feeds back into our relationship, back and forth, constantly changing, different communication, and god knows what.

Little different than if you met someone and you both start smoking crack at the same time. But lo and behold, she's also smoking pot, doing meth, heroin, speed, and xanax. But she decides she likes to do crack the best.
What happens when she cuts out all the other stuff?
What happens when she mostly focuses on crack, but occasionally goes back and tries to keep in touch and be occasional "just friends" with the other stuff?


If we were having sex and she told me she was dating a bunch of other guys, it would make me want to control her more.
It would be more validating for her to be dating and maybe having sex with other guys and she chooses me above all others, or to know I control and own her above and beyond the other guys making it more like sharing my trophy.
But it wouldn't really be "her" I would want, so much as the ego stroking it represents. In this scenario I would probably dump her not too long after she cuts off all ties with all the other guys.
Because I would have "won" so no reason to continue the relationship.

If we weren't having sex, I would want her less. For many reasons.
But I think mostly because there are many just as good alternatives to be found. Plenty of fish in the sea. Why compete or deal with all the BS when it's completely unnecessary?
I know people like to whine "get to know me!" but I have yet to find any personality that was entirely better than another.
And if it's all about compatibility? I wouldn't have been attracted to her in the first place if she was (her personality was the type to be) dating a bunch of other guys.

I've done circular dating in a roundabout way

Lol, the M25 too

Or the north circular in London.