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| Topic: Lack of courtesy | |
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You are far more patient than I am. Well...we're all different....  
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When I started out here I was getting 200+ emails a day.
I TRIED simple replies, still could not get through them. Women get a LOT more email than guys I have gathered. Then there are the ones who do not take kindly to rejection (you will find them in droves here) and the replies to a simple thank you can get hideous..'Who the f**k do you think you are?' and that really makes one uncomfortable. All in all, tis much simpler, kinder and more courteous to ignore most all emails ;-) I also have not engaged with any scammers. |
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I have replied to maybe twenty ladies on this site and not one has had the courtesy to reply. What does it take to get a reply? It's the internet. No reply IS a reply. Get over it. |
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When I started out here I was getting 200+ emails a day. I TRIED simple replies, still could not get through them. Women get a LOT more email than guys I have gathered. Then there are the ones who do not take kindly to rejection (you will find them in droves here) and the replies to a simple thank you can get hideous..'Who the f**k do you think you are?' and that really makes one uncomfortable. All in all, tis much simpler, kinder and more courteous to ignore most all emails ;-) I also have not engaged with any scammers.  Wow... On all my time on various dating sites I have NEVER gotten that many in one day...hell, not even in a *month*... I get dribs and drabs...2-3 scammers here....1-2 scammers there.. *Rarely* does a real person message me spontaneously...I can count on my fingers and toes WITH digits left over the number of real messages from *real* people I have ever gotten on any dating site... 
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Edited by
fullgrownman
on
Fri 11/09/18 10:47 AM
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Please educate me as I am new to this?
I am certainly no fool but please explain about scammers on this sight? One fella mentioned he even had someone try and blackmail him? What have I gotten myself into by just seeking people my own age to get into activities because I don't have a readymade circle of friends? I'm not really looking for a lifelong relationship If something came along and surprised me that would be different? |
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Well ok?
In that case, there was sure an abundance of off-limits conversation going on but I will defer to your superior knowledge and back out. Thank you for the reply. |
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Best for Women to be cautious in Online dating. Be alert and not too desperate to meet a Man on dating sites.
It's good to check them out throughly before Meeting in person. I've done this and it worked out. :  No one from Mingle2. |
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If someone real takes the time to send me a message.. I respond to that message.
I just think that the right thing to do |
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When I started out here I was getting 200+ emails a day. I TRIED simple replies, still could not get through them. Women get a LOT more email than guys I have gathered. Then there are the ones who do not take kindly to rejection (you will find them in droves here) and the replies to a simple thank you can get hideous..'Who the f**k do you think you are?' and that really makes one uncomfortable. All in all, tis much simpler, kinder and more courteous to ignore most all emails ;-) I also have not engaged with any scammers. Wow... On all my time on various dating sites I have NEVER gotten that many in one day...hell, not even in a *month*... I get dribs and drabs...2-3 scammers here....1-2 scammers there.. *Rarely* does a real person message me spontaneously...I can count on my fingers and toes WITH digits left over the number of real messages from *real* people I have ever gotten on any dating site... we are always at the TOP of the Search engines, an advantage Premium members have..thus, the first profiles shown. Back in the day though, all the emails were from sincere sources, now rarely..more reason to not reply. And some got more mail than I did ;-) |
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Edited by
I_love_bluegrass
on
Fri 11/09/18 12:08 PM
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Please note..being a Mod gives you Premium which means we are always at the TOP of the Search engines, an advantage Premium members have..thus, the first profiles shown. Back in the day though, all the emails were from sincere sources, now rarely..more reason to not reply. And some got more mail than I did ;-) Gotcha..  I just hate that BS about how "women are swamped with/ drowned in/ get more messages than they can handle.." Maybe *younger* women do. But that has not been MY expereince, nor the expereince of the 2 other ladies in my age range I am aquainted with who are also on dating sites.. |
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Edited by
Toodygirl5
on
Fri 11/09/18 12:47 PM
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I get messages most everyday and a lot of friends request I delete most all of them daily when I am on here.
Men cannot even email me if they don't fit my Filters. And I still get many. Sometimes I email a Man first in certain areas I want to go too. I don't mind doing that but on Mingle2 , that doesn't work most are fake profiles. I did get a few replies last month. Dozens of Men on here are Not into Forums. |
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I mostly ignore guys under 30 from counties out of United States.
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Edited by
Toodygirl5
on
Fri 11/09/18 06:58 PM
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I just got a message today from a nice man on here he was New to me.
I replied to his message and he was happy I dI'd. He was not a fake person. I read his profile and it was nice but he lived Miles and miles from me. Many on here are seeking dates. But many are NOT , |
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What does it take to get a reply? It takes someone interested in you. I must have missed the fine print where it says if someone doesn't respond they're not courteous.
Bottom line is they are not interested and rather than have to deal with a pointless and very likely unpleasant conversation they choose to ignore you. The very fact that you felt the need to create this thread suggests to me a lack of understanding and that you're one of those guys or gals that will respond to a not interested with "why not?" I doubt you are entirely lacking in socials and would not get hostile, but they're out here as well. |
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What happened, Toody?
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Edited by
Toodygirl5
on
Fri 11/09/18 07:37 PM
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What happened, Toody? It was a first message and he was happy I replied. It was. nice. That's how I get to know Real men on Any site by responding if I think they are not Fake. I read Profiles first . |
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It's something about reading a profile but not really understanding it.
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Lack of courtesy Some observations I have made... No focus on dating or relationships ...just in general interactions in public. Pushing a shopping cart Most people will plow right thru you with their cart if you're not paying attention. This is because most people are preoccupied while shopping. I usually stop and let them pass but if they are blocking the aisle and I can't get thru, I stand there till they realized they are in the way, then they offer apology again and again. I mind myself and pay attention to where the people are looking and automatically just move out of the way. I mind where in the aisle my cart is and rarely 'park' it in the middle of the aisle. Traffic The traffic situation is even worse. 2 out of 10 people are actually paying attention. I see too many people on their phones, reaching for something and arguing with someone in the car. When I drive, I pay attention to the task at hand. I follow established guidelines of safe driving (all that CDL & safety training). I am courteous to other drivers even when they don't see me. Honesty I pay for what I buy. If there is an error, I make it right. I am surprised often by people being astonished that I caught the error and forked out more money. This honesty bleeds into other interactions in public. Most people are distracted from the world they are in. Most people are rude to others in public. Most people are in a rush. I get apologies when no apology would be needed if they were just paying attention to the world around them. This is not courtesy it is a dismissal. The lack of courtesy is due to people not paying attention to anything except what has their immediate focus. Most people, when taken alone, tend to be courteous. Once they set to their tasks, its me, me, me. The public is narcissistic and insane. |
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Lack of courtesy Some observations I have made... No focus on dating or relationships ...just in general interactions in public. Pushing a shopping cart Most people will plow right thru you with their cart if you're not paying attention. This is because most people are preoccupied while shopping. I usually stop and let them pass but if they are blocking the aisle and I can't get thru, I stand there till they realized they are in the way, then they offer apology again and again. I mind myself and pay attention to where the people are looking and automatically just move out of the way. I mind where in the aisle my cart is and rarely 'park' it in the middle of the aisle. Traffic The traffic situation is even worse. 2 out of 10 people are actually paying attention. I see too many people on their phones, reaching for something and arguing with someone in the car. When I drive, I pay attention to the task at hand. I follow established guidelines of safe driving (all that CDL & safety training). I am courteous to other drivers even when they don't see me. Honesty I pay for what I buy. If there is an error, I make it right. I am surprised often by people being astonished that I caught the error and forked out more money. This honesty bleeds into other interactions in public. Most people are distracted from the world they are in. Most people are rude to others in public. Most people are in a rush. I get apologies when no apology would be needed if they were just paying attention to the world around them. This is not courtesy it is a dismissal. The lack of courtesy is due to people not paying attention to anything except what has their immediate focus. Most people, when taken alone, tend to be courteous. Once they set to their tasks, its me, me, me. The public is narcissistic and insane. I agree about the shopping cart thing.. I see so many people hogging an entire aisle...apparently just standing there, or engagong in conversation. But, *I* will say " 'scuse me.." and get their attention, and say i need to get through.. They are otherwise oblivious..on their phone.. ~Myself~..if *I* have to stop mid-aisle to look for something/ check prices, I put my cart against the shelves..not leave it out in the middle.. |
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Edited by
msharmony
on
Sat 11/10/18 09:23 AM
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Another thing to consider about the difference between an in person hello and an online one is the presence of Body Language.
for instance, in real time, a person says hello and you can say hello and move on, and they usually are not gonna follow you to try to force follow up communication. They can read by your body language if you are interested in continuing and most will take the qeue. in person, one can respond hello and physically move on, or say they are on their way somewhere or whatever and it is accepted so the other person ends their attempts. online, however, one cannot move on. There is always the opportunity for the other person to attempt a continuation of the conversation at their own convenience, and responses can be harder for them to 'read' or move on from than in real time when they have no choice. I do not respond most times because I make clear in my profile a few things, and usually, within the first message, I can tell they werent interested enough to read and I dont wish to explain again. other times, I have looked at their profile and something is there that says there wont be chemistry. And this does not mean appearance, because I have had some profiles that I thought were very attractive photos, but the interests or values expressed in their profile were not a match. My lack of response is the same as just simply saying HI in person and continuing to move on to my next destination. |
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