MY question is simple. background: When I ask potential women for dates (in the past), the women made a point of "shouting/screaming" in my face "You are NOT a man!", and "You dont deserve a woman"

BY contrast, when I see a woman who is interested, yet she is not my type, I try to be courteous, saying "Sorry, I am looking for someone else."

And YES, I Do have a specific type, of woman, that I seek.

Any suggestions on a more polite way, to decline a woman?

It is often difficult and it's certainly likely that other people, especially the ladies here, will have some good advice. At least you're doing the right thing by being polite.

Are you troubled a lot by unwanted women?

Seems unlikely in my case but yes.

I would never use foul languagw, yet I would my point clear. And wish that gal all the best. Should she still hound me, I would ignore it.

I had one do that to me. I then grabbed my crotch, "Huh. I sure as hell feel like one. Have you been to a optometrist lately?

(good thing I ducked)

Very simple, base line of it is "The interest isn't mutual."
You can add a bit to it, "Thank you, you seem great, but the interest isn't mutual."
Or "Thank you for the interest, but it isn't mutual."

Something like that is enough. They're strangers and there's no need whatsoever to explain more than this.

PS if I have talked to them for a bit and then learn they're not for me I ALWAYS say something like "I don't feel a click. Thank you for the conversation, and good luck on your path."
I ALWAYS wish them good luck.

A serious answer at last. I tend to go with the 'Thanks for your interest but..'

It's the internet. A simple "no thanks" ought to do. After that, the block button is your friend.

There's not yet an appropriate way to decline her advances. I would advice to hope on the bus you might be surprised. Or would you rather your faves disappoint you?

all that is well and good and am guessing would be alot more appreciated,but most ladies just simply reply with silence you'll send a message saying and and asking gow their day was and be as polite as ever only to not get a response ever and see where they look at your profile its very common not all ladies though but

So how does that require a reply? I'm not interested in boring, dull conversation. Telling a stranger how my day was is a waste of time, and none of their business. Ask something more meaningful and likely related to someone's profile. Work on your conversation skills if this is the best you can do.

Their response to you shows you that they are not a very nice person in general. Consider yourself lucky that they turned you down.

A decent person will always respond politely.

Are you kidding? You have been here since 2007 so I think the problem is not the unwanted women pursuing you, the problem is you. jk

anyway... I suggest you set your mail filters here https://mingle2.com/inbox/filters so those who do not meet your preference will not be able to message you. However, if you message them first, then they will be able to send you messages. If you are not interested and they continue to message you, then block them.

It hurts to be rejected.. I can relate. So I say..

"Thank you for your email. I don't think we are a match so
I wish you all the best in your search.

Have a wonderful day"

If they continue to message you, then BLOCK is your best friend.

Good luck

Anymore, I'd say no response at all.
IMO don't worry about it.
Just respond and talk to the people you wish to talk to.

There is no "winning" until you get off the internet and start dating.
"Etiquette" online is meaningless.

Take this for example:
" I'm not interested in boring, dull conversation. Telling a stranger how my day was is a waste of time, and none of their business."

There's no way to "win" there.

You've got questions on your profile about your age, weight/body type, how many kids you have, if you're married, divorced, single, where you live.
Those are your business, apparently.
Yet if someone asks "how was your day" it can be construed as "none of their business" or too personal. Anything can be seen in a negative light if there is a desire for it to be seen as such.

"Ask something more meaningful and likely related to someone's profile"
OP has had a profile since 2007.
When was the last time it was updated?
In my own personal experience I emailed a woman and "personalized" it relating to her profile. I knew a lot about her job, about certain complexities and humor involved.
That scared her, she thought I was a stalker.
Turns out she filled out that profile several years prior and forgot to update it. Since she joined the site she had gone to school and went down a whole new career path.

Not to mention, many people put tons of "interests" in their profile just to make themselves seem more active or whatever than they actually are.
Passing momentary interests they've never done, or haven't focused on in years.

"Personalizing" your message to their profile can backfire on you just as much as ignoring it completely.



Whether or not, and how, someone responds to you, rejects you, responds to your rejections, is based almost entirely on their transient mood.

"the women made a point of "shouting/screaming" in my face "You are NOT a man!", and "You dont deserve a woman" "

People online can do/say the same thing. And it may have absolutely nothing to do with you, nor absolutely nothing to do with what you've said.
Some troll could have been grieving her with fake profiles, or the hottie that she "really" wanted put her on block. So she gets mad. But she has no outlet.

Here comes you with (maybe/hypothetically) a perfectly typed email, conscientious, funny, "related to her profile," but she's still mad at the last guy. Maybe she thinks you're that guy, or you just happen to be at the right place at the right time and she wants to put you in your place as a surrogate/scapegoat for the guy that made her upset.


"Politeness" is a meaningless subjective interpretation online.
It gets you absolutely nothing to be polite online.
No one is going to point you to their friends profile to date them or take it upon themselves to make sure you're seen in a "good" light or really help you out, no one is going to write a review about how polite you are, no one is going to say "well, I find you unattractive, but you're so polite so I changed my mind and must have you."

There really are no upsides to being polite in rejecting someone online.
There are potential negative consequences to being polite. They can choose to see it as a negative and come back and "scream" at you and point out your flaws and try to make you feel bad.

Focus on the people you want to talk to. Ignore the rest. They don't matter, and there aren't really any positive outcomes to being polite.

As has been said for a very long time with internet dating; no response is a response. As others have said, set up the auto no response called "block."

Sorry Tom, but how you act on the internet is exactly how you will behave in real life. I read some of the forum postings made on here that are sarcastic and nasty to another poster or the OP, and assume you are the same type of ***** or ahole in real life.

That response "" I'm not interested in boring, dull conversation. Telling a stranger how my day was is a waste of time, and none of their business." " will get you a response you won't like so you better put the block on after you do it!!! A FU to that would be being polite.

Does the whining seem to work for anyone?

Nope, waste of time!

hi