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| Topic: Are we aiming too high? | |
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I often ask myself this question - am I expecting too much from a woman?
Primarily in terms of looks - I'm OK with how I am but accept that I don't really fit the criteria of what most people would call good-looking. Is it, therefore, unreasonable of me to want to date a woman who I find attractive? But at the same time, I can't really see myself wanting to date a woman if there isn't at least some attraction there. Friends, yes absolutely, and I suppose there's always the chance that a friendship could lead to something more - I do find that a woman can become more attractive to me the more I know about her (or vice versa for that matter!). I suppose I want to cling on to the hope that somebody out there would actually like the look of me, but unless that happens, maybe I'm just destined to stay single? I'm interested in whether other people feel like this and if you find it easy to switch off that primal urge to seek out someone you fancy above other qualities. |
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Edited by
SparklingCrystal đź’–đź’Ž
on
Wed 01/29/20 09:22 AM
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Well, one would assume that you're always attracted to the person you fall for otherwise you wouldn't fall for them.
Problem solved. Whether she will look like a model... wait and see. Nothing is impossible. Plenty of not so great looking guys end up with a gorgeous girl. That will then hinge on the man's personality, confidence, and charm. Apart from that, there's fewer good looking men than women. If you don't believe me check it out when you're among people. Look at couples and the attractiveness of both women & men. You regularly see a (quite) attractive woman, men not so much. |
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Well, one would assume that you're always attracted to the person you fall for otherwise you wouldn't fall for them. Problem solved. Whether she will look like a model... wait and see. Nothing is impossible. Plenty of not so great looking guys and up with a gorgeous girl. That will then hinge on the man's personality, confidence, and charm. Apart from that, there's fewer good looking men than women. If you don't believe me check it out when you're among people. Look at couples and the attractiveness of both women & men. You regularly see a (quite) attractive woman, men not so much.  Self-esteem and confidence is important. Be wary of finding your dream woman. Sometimes the rose-colored glasses blind you to important things you should see. Choose Wisely. Its well known that when with the right person you both change each other for the better. Never fear the woman who invests time and energy to help you be better than you were. Change Wisely. |
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Well, one would assume that you're always attracted to the person you fall for otherwise you wouldn't fall for them. Problem solved. Whether she will look like a model... wait and see. Nothing is impossible. Plenty of not so great looking guys end up with a gorgeous girl. That will then hinge on the man's personality, confidence, and charm. Apart from that, there's fewer good looking men than women. If you don't believe me check it out when you're among people. Look at couples and the attractiveness of both women & men. You regularly see a (quite) attractive woman, men not so much. |
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Edited by
Bastet127
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Wed 01/29/20 06:10 PM
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Attraction is key. I find your post a little odd because you said you know
you’re not the best looking, but you seem to be bent on dating someone “good looking”. Are less attractive women not appealing to you? Are you creating a double standard here? All people are worthy of affection, don’t sell yourself short, but don’t sell others short either. You never know what you may find very attractive to you when you see beyond. :) |
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I often ask myself this question - am I expecting too much from a woman? Primarily in terms of looks - I'm OK with how I am but accept that I don't really fit the criteria of what most people would call good-looking. Is it, therefore, unreasonable of me to want to date a woman who I find attractive? But at the same time, I can't really see myself wanting to date a woman if there isn't at least some attraction there. Friends, yes absolutely, and I suppose there's always the chance that a friendship could lead to something more - I do find that a woman can become more attractive to me the more I know about her (or vice versa for that matter!). I suppose I want to cling on to the hope that somebody out there would actually like the look of me, but unless that happens, maybe I'm just destined to stay single? I'm interested in whether other people feel like this and if you find it easy to switch off that primal urge to seek out someone you fancy above other qualities. Yes, there has to be some initial attraction, but don't play the numbers game, I'm a 5 and she is an 8 (or vice versa), so it's never going to happen attitude. If you find a woman attractive and you believe she is single, there should be nothing to stop you asking her out on a date if you are interested. You will not learn any more about each other if you don't date. |
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Edited by
Rock
on
Thu 01/30/20 03:46 AM
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First and foremost, the main thing that attracts
me to a woman, is her mind. Is it unreasonable of me, to see beauty in the IQ? A woman who may view herself as plain, will become the prettiest thing i've ever seen, when she chooses to tantalize me with her intellect. |
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Well, one would assume that you're always attracted to the person you fall for otherwise you wouldn't fall for them. Problem solved. Whether she will look like a model... wait and see. Nothing is impossible. Plenty of not so great looking guys end up with a gorgeous girl. That will then hinge on the man's personality, confidence, and charm. Apart from that, there's fewer good looking men than women. If you don't believe me check it out when you're among people. Look at couples and the attractiveness of both women & men. You regularly see a (quite) attractive woman, men not so much. Eh I have both.... 
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Keep yourself open to really see and get to know people. They change as you do. Beautiful become ugly and ugly become beautiful. Be good to yourself and be patient. You will fall into lust but love is discovered and you build on it.
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Edited by
oldkid46
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Thu 01/30/20 07:00 AM
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I believe the best approach is to know what you can accept as compared to being alone. The more critical you are of prospective partners, the less likely you are to find anyone you find acceptable. The alternative is being alone. I do not mean what you would like in a prospective partner but the minimum you can accept!!
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