You are on that all important second date and thinking that this may go somewhere, when in conversation your date tells you they are looking around at the moment, and are currently dating another person as well. They want to date a few people in their search for 'the one' for them, because they need to be sure they don't want to rush, and they hope you are OK with this.

Would you accept this and continue dating as you would normally, or would you now see this dating differently than you did before, would you continue dating the person? What would you do?

Why did that person not reveal her intention during the first date? That makes me think ...

If the first day was bad, you don't meet a second time, methinks.

If the first date was okay, then you both agree to meet for a second time. But then blowing such a sucker punch is weird ... well, I would walk away, tbh.

I would find that to be pretty off-putting, actually. If someone is dating multiple people, it sounds like they’re playing the numbers game, thinking that the higher the volume of people they date, the higher the likelihood of finding “the one”. Maybe it’s my ego speaking, but I’d like to feel that he had seen something in me that he liked a little better than the rest. Who wants to feel like they are just a place-holder until someone better comes along?

Once again, you beat me to it. Place holder is a very good way, to describe such a behaviour.
It can also happen, that someone plays the jealousy game, imo.

I'd definitely not go on a second date with them, knowing that I'm just an option

Very good word to use--"placeholder"--for this example.

As I've said many times before on here, doing this is is actual fact advised to women to do.
Otherwise you put your eggs in one basket, spend maybe months on one guy who doesn't follow through and isn't really seeking a committed relationship.
Thing being that women bond very easily because of our oxytocin and men don't.
There are so many men out there that aren't really serious and just seek companionship, sex, not being lonely, having something to do, and loads of other reasons except the one a woman wants/needs: commitment.
And because men don't bond so easily most of them can simply date and not bond and not get attached and date another the next day or next week without a problem.

If you as a woman then invest time in such a man and he indeed doesn't go for a committed relationship you may have lost 6 months or longer -this scenario often plays out for years!!!-, then you have to heal from the blow, and then go out to do it all over again.
Much better to date several men. This also is a subconscious message to them that they 'haven't got you' and can thus sit back, don't do anything anymore as they've already conquered you anyway, so why bother.
Often subconscious processed but they do happen and very often too.

So I think it's very smart of that lady. She's not going to drop her handkerchief on the ground for you until you've stepped up.
So... if you really like the woman and want the same she does (relationship) make an effort. Show her you're really into her and only her.

All this -and this knowledge - is as old as the road to Cologne and are all psychological & hormonal processes.

I've done that before. However, I usually do it on the first date. He's not a placeholder for me, but a way to gauge if he's exactly who I'm looking for before deciding I want to spend year/years with him.

It's extremely difficult to know that you want to be with someone long-term after one or two dates. Just because you "talk" to someone online for month/months, doesn't mean you'll know with absolute certainty, that he/she is right for you. Online chemistry doesn't often transfer to the same thing IRL. So two dates, is still introductory for me.

I applaud her for telling you. At least you now know how to move forward. Do you want to start building walls around your heart, or give more of yourself. That will for sure help her to make a decision. Sure did for me.

Okay then ... so women are allowed, even advised to shop around?

What about us guys? What if we did the same? Then we are probably accused of pulling a fast one.

I am just thinking about one thing. Somebody gets hurt, a guy who has hopes to find a serious relationship after the first date.

To me, honesty means, telling that guy that there ain't no second date at all. That's after the first date, a couple of days before the second date. Cancelling a date in a polite way doesn't cost anything.

But giving him hopes by agreeing to a second date? That's just rude, imo.

Many men do the same, without any attachment, so they simply hop from one to the next without any problem. If one doesn't have time, then there's another.
As I said, men don't bond easily so it's not the same. Men can spend years with a woman without really committing although SHE thinks he did. They can move in together, go to his family, him calling her his GF, all without committing. Basically just doing that because, hey, it's better than being alone! You got company, sex, fun etc.
This is where oftentimes the man falls in love for real with another woman, leaves the one he's been with (sometimes 10 years!!), commits to the other woman, marries her and has children within a few months time. Leaving the woman that thought they had a real thing shattered and not understanding.
A woman cannot do such a thing. THAT's the difference.
So dating more than one is protection of self and because men & women are very differently wired, very much needed protection.
Like the subject I posted on sex the other day. Men are wired to have sex then be off to impregnate another. And another.
Women are wired to have sex and bond, commit, and to stay together in relationship.

I doubt a man would be very upset if a woman cancels a date if he hasn't even bonded yet, which for men usually takes time. And thus won't be the case after a few dates.

I really cannot understand why this seems so difficult to grasp. It's not rocket science. And no reason for ego knee-jerking... It has nothing to do with that whatsoever.

Ego knee jerking? Where? Mind me asking.

Anyway, please don't tar all of us guys with the same brush. Some of us are upset, if a women cancels a date. Especially if the first date went well. But we are more upset, if we get the marching order during the second date. Why? Because there is guys who think, they might have found "the right one". Why? Because there is a second date. Which would not be the case, if the first date was awful.

Some of us don't have only intentions of a cheap hook up. Some of us are able to commit to a proper relationship relatively fast. And there is women, who don't want to commit for something long term, but who a One Night Stand. Sad but true. I met them in person. There is always an exception to the rule

Thanks everyone for all the replies and advice. I believe you may need to date a few people in person in your search for 'the one' for you, but multiple simultaneous dating is not for me, I would not want to date that way. We never know which way dating is going to go, but I would give my individual attention in dating and expect the same back, not some part time attention, in finding out if they are 'the one' and we are a mutual match. If not, I would break up before looking for another.

some of the opinions expressed are certainly valid and they are just that , i believe .
i never make a date unless I am certain we are into each other ... i aint a serial dater and not looking for one .... and I am definitely not "a meal ticket"... yup too smart and cheap for that to happen !!!
but yes , go ahead and date as many as you can .... and in the end you will probably find you actually "lost the one "" and gained absolutely nada !!!

I kind of get in this world of online dating that you might schedule a couple of dates at the same time. It's so hit and miss with the overwhelming majority being misses I don't think that's a big deal. With the first date being a feeling it process even a couple of second dates doesn't bother me. Once you add in the "wants to date a few people" that's where it loses me. That's not looking for the one that's being a ho...

I have a feeling that's what she meant, Devo. At least it was for me. I wasn't dating three guys at the same time. When I told him that I wanted to date others before making a decision, I didn't go out with him again for two months. In that time I date two other guys, once each time as well. None of them had an issue, and was more than happy to have a discussion about whether we're "exclusive" after one date, or were free to continue dating.

I fail to see how one or two dates means you're now a "couple" and you have to "break up" with that person. It's definitely a personality thing. If you're the type that can't deal with that, then isn't it great for the person to be upfront and share that with you?

@Larsi - There are a lot of men who do the same. They're just not honest enough to share it with the women they're dating.

I never said, that all of us guys are likes angels. But it's not fair to generalize. There is good ones and bad ones on both sides of the gender fence.

I see what Larsi is saying. He doesn't appreciate the absolutes. Men are this, women are that, period. Nobody wants to be put in a box, particularly an unflattering one, when it isn't true to who you are.

Indeed. It is just not fair to say, that men as such are only driven by their sex hormons and want cheap hook ups or are basically not able to commit to something long term.

It's the same if I was saying, that all green eyed women were evil, just because my Ex had green eyes.

So whereever you find a box, give it to a cat, as they like boxes

If they say they want to date others at the same time as dating me, then I interpret that as they have some reservations about a future relationship with me. So why waste my time dating someone whom doesn't really seem to know who and what they want.