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Topic: Cougar or Experinced Mature Single Girl?
Isabelle's photo
Tue 11/08/22 03:06 PM
It's an ongoing "thing", how to represent one's self when it comes to online, chit chat, and dating. What one man sees as 'Hotness', another simply sees her as a "good-lookin' woman".
So, Ladies..
here's my question,
Do you go with the 'cougar' kitty cat, claws out method to catch Mr. Good looking? Tickle his funny bone, feed his belly... scratch his back?
Or do you, pull it back some, use your class and patience, and understanding of the chase game and let him come to you?

What are your thoughts?
Your modus operandi?
What works best for you?

Thanks all,
Sending light and hope :wink:


Soon coming online to rock your world





no photo
Tue 11/08/22 08:15 PM
I would love to have a great night with a sexy beautiful woman.

motowndowntown's photo
Tue 11/08/22 09:16 PM
Be sure and let us know how that line works out for ya mate.

no photo
Tue 11/08/22 09:33 PM
“When I first saw him standing there I longed to speak but did not dare . Something inside whispered to me .. you’d better move in carefully “

I prefer the subtle approach lmao 🤣

NOOR's photo
Fri 11/11/22 11:33 AM
Love is a beautiful thing..a person should not care only in the eyes of the one he loves

no photo
Fri 12/02/22 05:10 AM
For cougar you need to keep a decent bank account but for mature need to be attractive and innocent..

Gia's photo
Tue 12/06/22 03:41 AM
I don't chase. I'm just funny and playful. I prefer a man that's as fun as I am with minimal baggage regardless of age. 38+ if they're mature.

But I'm looking to keep them.

Ɔʎɹɐx's photo
Tue 12/06/22 03:57 AM

I don't chase. I'm just funny and playful. I prefer a man that's as fun as I am with minimal baggage regardless of age. 38+ if they're mature.

But I'm looking to keep them.

+38 or ≥38 ?
I mean why don't you give those who are 38 a chance?

Ɔʎɹɐx's photo
Tue 12/06/22 04:00 AM
Edited by Ɔʎɹɐx on Tue 12/06/22 04:02 AM
btw, the baggage isn't minimal. Well not maximal either, but in between

Tom4Uhere's photo
Tue 12/06/22 06:42 AM
I think the best way to present yourself is to be the person you actually are.
"Playing" a 'part' to find someone is deceitful.

It seems you are just looking for any man in general but its best to use your wisdom and select a man right for you. Less problems in the long run.

Many relationships go wrong from choosing poorly.
There's no gimmick involved. Who wants to play a ruse forever? Who wants someone who actually turns out to be someone they're not?

How can you find the right man when you haven't even figured out what the 'right man' means to you?
Figure out what you want then put yourself in their path and allow the magic to happen. Just realize the magic isn't guaranteed to be both ways.
When it is, you will both know it.

no photo
Tue 12/06/22 03:46 PM
reading from others comments personally I can am more of a mature kinda lady ....I wait for him to approach me instead of the other way round ....old fashioned way is much better than throwing myself to him. l hate to be told " u came to me first l never likedu"........so nomater how he makes my heart skip ....l wait

Gia's photo
Tue 12/06/22 11:48 PM


I don't chase. I'm just funny and playful. I prefer a man that's as fun as I am with minimal baggage regardless of age. 38+ if they're mature.

But I'm looking to keep them.

+38 or ≥38 ?
I mean why don't you give those who are 38 a chance?


It’s not even really about age, it’s about maturity. Just no one my kids ages. I’m not even dating. . I really like 38-50, but those are just the men I encountered. Go up to 55 and he’s telling me when to go to bed. I want a partner, not a father.

I have a 36 and 38 guy friends that are more mature then a lot of 50 years olds I know. They’re definitely husband material.

It all depends and I’m the widow that encountered a handle of men, slept with none. You should just skip me.




Gia's photo
Tue 12/06/22 11:53 PM

btw, the baggage isn't minimal. Well not maximal either, but in between


Noted. You’re just trying to get me in trouble. I’m on my best behaviour. :zipper_mouth:

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Wed 12/07/22 02:35 AM
It's not about presenting yourself as someone you think men might like.
It's about being yourself and finding a man who loves you for who you are.

That's what I do, I'm not changing myself into something I'm not.
That doesn't mean there's no work to be done on self though. If you have any problems with self-esteem, self-love etc. it's important to work on that. Not for a man but for yourself.

Mr Good Guy's photo
Wed 12/07/22 08:51 AM
Edited by Mr Good Guy on Wed 12/07/22 09:01 AM
In my opinion, one of the biggest mistakes that women make is the whole "I like him but will wait for him to hopefully chat me up first" thing.

It's a game, and is not reflective of what YOU really want. You WANT to talk to him, but you don't? Opportunity lost.

There's nothing wrong AT ALL about saying "hi" to a man or approaching in a friendly way (with WORDS). I'd bet 99 out of 100 men would love that. But you don't it. Why not?

Myself, I'm not a "chaser". However, I'll certainly say hi, smile, and approach within reason. If she's playing the "aloof" game, I'm done in an instant.

It's become a minefield out there for men. Will she be like "oh F+ck, here we go again" with attitude about being approached?, Will she think she's being harassed in some way? Does she have a bf/husband she'll sick on you? OR, will she be DELIGHTED you said hello? NOBODY KNOWS, and many men are clueless about your "signs" you give off.

Frankly, if women are not making it easy on a man they are interested in (in a store, wherever), it just won't happen. I'd say in a perfect world, with all the "harassment" uncertainties, it's the WOMEN that should be approaching now.

Think about it this way, there is a very high probability if a man approaches, it will not go well for him. However, if the woman puts in a bit more of the effort, she's probably looking at a 99% chance it will go well for her. Yet these "toxic men" as we are often called are expected to keep approaching?

I guess most women can keep being "aloof" and expecting men to risk EVERYTHING while they do nothing but maybe a slight smile and hope he takes the hint. Doesn't seem like a very smart strategy to me.

Tom4Uhere's photo
Wed 12/07/22 01:19 PM
In my opinion, one of the biggest mistakes that women make is the whole "I like him but will wait for him to hopefully chat me up first" thing.

It's a game, and is not reflective of what YOU really want. You WANT to talk to him, but you don't? Opportunity lost.

There's nothing wrong AT ALL about saying "hi" to a man or approaching in a friendly way (with WORDS). I'd bet 99 out of 100 men would love that. But you don't it. Why not?

Myself, I'm not a "chaser". However, I'll certainly say hi, smile, and approach within reason. If she's playing the "aloof" game, I'm done in an instant.

It's become a minefield out there for men. Will she be like "oh F+ck, here we go again" with attitude about being approached?, Will she think she's being harassed in some way? Does she have a bf/husband she'll sick on you? OR, will she be DELIGHTED you said hello? NOBODY KNOWS, and many men are clueless about your "signs" you give off.

Frankly, if women are not making it easy on a man they are interested in (in a store, wherever), it just won't happen. I'd say in a perfect world, with all the "harassment" uncertainties, it's the WOMEN that should be approaching now.

Think about it this way, there is a very high probability if a man approaches, it will not go well for him. However, if the woman puts in a bit more of the effort, she's probably looking at a 99% chance it will go well for her. Yet these "toxic men" as we are often called are expected to keep approaching?

I guess most women can keep being "aloof" and expecting men to risk EVERYTHING while they do nothing but maybe a slight smile and hope he takes the hint. Doesn't seem like a very smart strategy to me.

I can understand why some men have issue with this. Sexual Harrassment lawsuits have made everbody paranoid. There is a lot of mantruth in what you've said.

My gf looked at my M2 profile multiple times and I noticed she did so at different times during the day and night. A woman looking for some on the side will always check you out at certain times, like when her husband or bf is at work.
It was I who sent the first message..."I've noticed you checking me out and I'd like to know if you want to meet someplace in town to talk?"
She was pretty enthusiastic at the notion so we exchanged numbers and agreed to meet at McDonalds for a lunch. She didn't show!
I figured she got cold feet but after I got home, she called me again. Wanted to just come over to my house so I agreed to meet her at the corner gas station.
After I saw she was alone and looked like her picture I suggested she follow me to my place and we talked and had dinner, watched a movie.
The next day, she called and wanted to do it again.
I asked her "the same gas station?" she laughed.
Thing is, we've been together bout 4 years (no I'm not actually keeping track) and we are still upfront and honest with each other. Neither of us play a personality or try to be someone we're not.
Neither of us are interested in playing those games or leading each other on with crap.
Our relationship is strong and we are happy with it.
We both know we are not married and the relationship can end anytime by either one of us but we CHOOSE to be with each other.
Its really, really simple to do. If you can be honest with each other.

no photo
Sat 01/07/23 02:15 AM
I don't know But one thing for sure I am Not a Cougar! I am new to dating again as the last time I dated was 34 years ago kinda rusty!:pensive:

bobtail76's photo
Sat 01/07/23 06:44 AM

In my opinion, one of the biggest mistakes that women make is the whole "I like him but will wait for him to hopefully chat me up first" thing.

It's a game, and is not reflective of what YOU really want. You WANT to talk to him, but you don't? Opportunity lost.

There's nothing wrong AT ALL about saying "hi" to a man or approaching in a friendly way (with WORDS). I'd bet 99 out of 100 men would love that. But you don't it. Why not?

Myself, I'm not a "chaser". However, I'll certainly say hi, smile, and approach within reason. If she's playing the "aloof" game, I'm done in an instant.

It's become a minefield out there for men. Will she be like "oh F+ck, here we go again" with attitude about being approached?, Will she think she's being harassed in some way? Does she have a bf/husband she'll sick on you? OR, will she be DELIGHTED you said hello? NOBODY KNOWS, and many men are clueless about your "signs" you give off.

Frankly, if women are not making it easy on a man they are interested in (in a store, wherever), it just won't happen. I'd say in a perfect world, with all the "harassment" uncertainties, it's the WOMEN that should be approaching now.

Think about it this way, there is a very high probability if a man approaches, it will not go well for him. However, if the woman puts in a bit more of the effort, she's probably looking at a 99% chance it will go well for her. Yet these "toxic men" as we are often called are expected to keep approaching?

I guess most women can keep being "aloof" and expecting men to risk EVERYTHING while they do nothing but maybe a slight smile and hope he takes the hint. Doesn't seem like a very smart strategy to me.


I dunno... I get the avoiding the lawsuits and the potential angry feminists (who probably wouldn't be approached in the first place - but there's exceptions to every rule), but dudes need to take back their manliness and have the courage and balls to be men again. Men are the risk takers - it's what we do...

in life.. at work.. with love. You can't expect an aloof woman to approach. Especially cougars. They have hit the wall (or is driving very quickly towards it), so they are likely to lack the self confidence that they did in their 20's when she had the pick of the litter.

If a guy is throwing everything he's got at every woman that crosses his path - he deserves what he gets. Law of averages will get him in trouble... but a dude still has to shoot his shot, especially if the juice is worth the squeeze.

Poetrywriter's photo
Sat 01/07/23 12:09 PM
Why would a lady want to use that word cougar to describe herself or her actions? A cougar is an animal. A lady is not. Seems to me a lady's best course of action is just be herself. If a guy isn't interested in that, then he doesn't deserve her.

Lost-John's photo
Sun 02/12/23 10:50 PM
Hi. I have a thing for older women say over 40 something. For some reason I just find them so sexy and seductive. If you are over 40 and would like to have some online fun pls msg me.

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