Topic: Healthy Or Nah
no photo
Fri 04/28/23 04:38 PM
Hey y'all, met someone great and we've been seeing each other for about three weeks now and she's requesting I remove my profile from the app. What y'all think cause I ain't sweating on the right decision. I'll be single alone and lonely but am I wrong to assume it's an unhealthy relationship

TxsGal3333's photo
Fri 04/28/23 04:54 PM
Hummm well let's see~~~ First of all I have a couple questions....

You say you have been seeing her for 3 weeks now, is that seeing her in person?

Did you meet her from a site you both were on?

If so did she delete her profile?

See I would have issues if someone told me I had to delete my profile.. But then when I joined this was mainly a Social Site and I joined to post in the forums to chat with others.

But have never had anyone I dated tell me I had to get off of a site..

I know many that have found someone but still post in the forums here cause they enjoy chatting with others. Nothing more then that..

But then it does all depend if your still searching for someone else while you are seeing someone else..

So it all depends on what your true intentions are...

Honestly I caught an ex bf searching online for someone while we were together.. and that is why he is an ex~~ That is just wrong if that is your intentions..

Rock's photo
Fri 04/28/23 04:58 PM
Tell her to go pound sand where the sun don't
shine.

JulieABush's photo
Fri 04/28/23 05:17 PM
She’s sounds controlling and to me no one should tell you what you can or can’t do and you should continue to be on this site. I’ve had some guys like that and I’ve told them the same thing. You could lay low for a while and see how things go. If they go good then you can delete your profile but if not then get back on or leave your profile as is. I’m still on even though I don’t have a boyfriend because I like the forum.

Tom4Uhere's photo
Fri 04/28/23 08:29 PM
It indicates a self-esteem issue rooted in jealousy.
Jealousy is rooted in the fear of losing someone you love.
Perhaps she was hurt badly in the past?
Maybe you should talk honestly with her about it and you might be able to figure out why she asks you to abandon your profile so soon. Just remember the honesty has to be both ways.

Try not to make it about your profile or you.
See if she might have an understandable reason for being so protective, so early in the relationship.

In a personality consideration, are you sure you want someone so demanding and controlling so early in the relationship? Time tends to expose personality faults and they usually compound to extremes the longer you ignore or dismiss them.

Honest communication is very important in building a relationship but so is the ability to recognize personality issues.

no photo
Fri 04/28/23 10:16 PM
Well we've known each other for a couple of months but never said anything or even noticed each other until I opened this acc and liked on her profile not knowing she's from my neighborhood.
we conversed really good and she's seem nice and yeah I noticed the controlling habit when she asked I make it clear on my profile that I'm no longer available.
you know it's easy for us to give great advices except to ourselves cause I literally changed my bio for her and the likes keep coming even though I discontinued the subscription, she still wants me to kill the acc.
She killed a lot of loneliness and cured a part of my depression true fact, she's what I'd dream to have except the controlling part.

some great advices on this would help cause that's literally my only issue with her and i wish I just know how to handle it

Tom4Uhere's photo
Fri 04/28/23 11:16 PM
I think you should start a actual relationship with her before you can figure out what the issue is.

Online correspondence is NOT an actual relationship. It is virtual.

Just because you are on the same dating site as her should be irrelevant.
Its narcissistic behavior.
Do you really want to start an intimate relationship with a narcissist?

To "handle it" I suggest you physically meet and start the relationship or make a wiser choice and move on to the next but keep her as a pen-pal if she makes you feel good.

Removing your profile would be silly at this time.
I'd keep the profile and date her.
Then if it works out between y'all, you may want to delete it, or don't. Many people just leave and don't come back when they find someone. That way, if it ends up NOT working, you can just revive the profile and continue looking.

Duttoneer's photo
Sun 04/30/23 01:54 AM

Sorry to say, but this for me would be a Red Flag event, you need to think carefully before deciding on your next step in my opinion.