I travel for a living. I've provide a good & stable home for my family. I am not allowed to be a disciplinarian when the kids derail and show disrespect. The wife... well she tolerates or outright ignores their disrespect. When I step in to quell the nonsense, then she steps in like Jesus to save them from wrath of God... thus deleting my purpose as a man/father/husband. I mentally & physically cant deal with the stress of being a bystander in my own home to being disrespected & seeing my wife be disrespected (she seems totally ok with it). Stress was so bad, I had a stroke. Now she's upset that I dont talk to her while I'm out of town. In baseball terms... she swings... she misses... Honestly... i think I'm done. I did the best that i could but right now, it's about me and my health and my healing and moving on with life with or without them. So -a question for the class- What do you think of this? What would you recommend knowing that I have exceeded my wits end to the point of injury. I may need to dip my toes in ocean water and let the sand scour my skin while the sun bakes my skin back to energy with the smell of salt water clear my nasal passages, while looking a fat women in bathing suits... that part *sigh* delightful lol

hi Rich, welcome to M2 and the forums..

speaking for myself.. there are many things you can do IF you are interested in saving your marriage.. I heard what you said about exceeding your breaking point however.. you have not stated how long you've been investing in this relationship with your wife nor as a father.. OR if you've even had the honest "how I feel" conversation with your wife...

first off, I'd suggest asking yourself the hardest questions, no one but you can answer any of them.. regardless of the advice you get from "strangers".. so if you truly want to ask strangers.. why not seek a professional that can help you get to the answers that you really seek.. just saying.. sometimes in life, it's easier to walk away from our responsiblities rather than fight for them..

so Rich.. are you a walker? or a fighter? do you give up/in? or do you give yourself the chance to find out what's best for you AND everyone? the balls in your court sir.. best of luck on your journey

You have let her take over as the head of the household. If she is at home with the kids, she should be using you as the disciplinary figure ("Just wait until your dad gets home!") if she wants to be the kind parent that they run over. But it sounds like you gave up your power, so if you want your kids to be raised with respect then you need to take back the power. How you do this is what you need to figure out...

Now we can offer suggestions, but remember that you are taking advice from people who are not in a relationship...lol.
Here is what I would try, when you get home and they are all there and acting up, warn them that you have had enough an the next person that acts up is getting a spanking. So either your wife will sit back and let you take over or she will step in like you say. Be prepared, she is the one that sounds like she needs a spanking as well...lol I am not saying beat your wife, just bend her over your knee for a spanking in view of the kids. This will show them that you are serious and should calm things down for a while. But it probably will not be a one time fix, if it does work, they will always be pushing the line and you have to be there to push back. Parents are suppose to be parents, kids have enough friends...