Community > Dating & Relationships

Topic: is this cheating?
katydid34 Joined Mon 08/20/07 Posts: 659	Wed 01/09/08 11:45 AM
Don't mean to break out the bible on you but yes, if you lust after someone it's adultery without even doing anything Who said anything about lust? There's no lust involved. The way I see it, the only thing him and his gf have in common is sex. So he goes for mental stimulation elsewhere. As I stated numerous times, there is no way he would leave her, and even if he did, the girl he talks to couldn't be with him like that. So they're just two online friends who basically use each other for companionship with no future. :)

katydid34 Joined Mon 08/20/07 Posts: 659	Wed 01/09/08 11:46 AM
Okay, here's the scenario- this guy has a gf, who never has time for him, so he met this girl online and they spend hours and hours together, talking about nothing. Every so often they engage in cam 2 cam "activity". Some would say this is emotional cheating and therefore wrong, however, they have never met and more than likely never will. Also, allegedly, emotional cheating is worse than the physical act, because of the feelings involved. My questions are these: do you think what these two do is wrong, and is emotional cheating worse than physical cheating? If you have to ask, then is the relationship worth saving. Eventually the more people talk the closer they come, then the feelings start between them. Then they are tempted to act. So, yes, it is cheating. I'm pretty sure he has no feelings for her at all, he's always going on about how much he loves his gf.

kirota Joined Sun 10/14/07 Posts: 3771	Wed 01/09/08 01:18 PM
Okay, here's the scenario- this guy has a gf, who never has time for him, so he met this girl online and they spend hours and hours together, talking about nothing. Every so often they engage in cam 2 cam "activity". Some would say this is emotional cheating and therefore wrong, however, they have never met and more than likely never will. Also, allegedly, emotional cheating is worse than the physical act, because of the feelings involved. My questions are these: do you think what these two do is wrong, and is emotional cheating worse than physical cheating? If you have to ask, then is the relationship worth saving. Eventually the more people talk the closer they come, then the feelings start between them. Then they are tempted to act. So, yes, it is cheating. I'm pretty sure he has no feelings for her at all, he's always going on about how much he loves his gf. It seems to me he should be devoting the time talking with you to communication within his relationship.

Sexy_lil_Blondie Joined Thu 12/20/07 Posts: 166	Wed 01/09/08 01:22 PM
yeah its 100% cheating

Paul46 Joined Sat 12/15/07 Posts: 120	Wed 01/09/08 01:25 PM
if he prefers to spend time on the computer and not spend it her then I say he is immature and does't deserve her

stevex86 Joined Wed 12/19/07 Posts: 1505	Wed 01/09/08 01:29 PM
Buy a cow!

katydid34 Joined Mon 08/20/07 Posts: 659	Wed 01/09/08 01:30 PM Edited by katydid34 on Wed 01/09/08 01:31 PM
if he prefers to spend time on the computer and not spend it her then I say he is immature and does't deserve her Well, the funny thing is, she spends most of her time either out in the world with her college friends or on the computer talking to one of his best friends. I think they hook up like 1 or 2 times a month for sex. So she's no prize either. I guess what I'm saying is, since the "online affair" will never become a real life affair, what does it hurt? Now if they actually intended to meet in real life and carry on, I'd say it's wrong, but the way it is, that won't happen. He gets his physical needs met by the gf. And he doesn't prefer to not talk to her, she just never has time for him.

katydid34 Joined Mon 08/20/07 Posts: 659	Wed 01/09/08 01:31 PM
Buy a cow! How much you sellin' it for???

RickB21 Joined Tue 12/25/07 Posts: 110	Wed 01/09/08 01:34 PM
cheating starts the moment youre doing something you dont want your significant other to find out about.

LLH5 Joined Mon 10/08/07 Posts: 553	Wed 01/09/08 02:26 PM
if he prefers to spend time on the computer and not spend it her then I say he is immature and does't deserve her Well, the funny thing is, she spends most of her time either out in the world with her college friends or on the computer talking to one of his best friends. I think they hook up like 1 or 2 times a month for sex. So she's no prize either. I guess what I'm saying is, since the "online affair" will never become a real life affair, what does it hurt? Now if they actually intended to meet in real life and carry on, I'd say it's wrong, but the way it is, that won't happen. He gets his physical needs met by the gf. And he doesn't prefer to not talk to her, she just never has time for him. Don't know if anyone asked you this question yet. I'm asking you because you're championing and making excuses for his behavior. If you were his girlfriend, how would you feel knowing he was doing this?

Tuck4x4 Joined Thu 12/06/07 Posts: 1077	Wed 01/09/08 03:53 PM
To my mind, if it upsets your loved one and causes them to feel insecure... Its cheating. That original scenario is definitely cheating.

blueeyedgirl2008 Joined Thu 01/03/08 Posts: 3	Wed 01/09/08 04:06 PM
If some askes you if you have a boyfriend or girlfriend and you say YES than it's all CHEATING!! Don't do it. If you're not happy with who u are with end it. Don't be the CHEATER!! That just gives you a bad name and makes you look bad. Be women or man enough to say sorry but this is NOT working out. Would you want your girlfriend or boyfriend to do it to you? Put yourself in their shoes.

iam4u Joined Fri 10/13/06 Posts: 30096	Wed 01/09/08 04:20 PM
if he prefers to spend time on the computer and not spend it her then I say he is immature and does't deserve her Well, the funny thing is, she spends most of her time either out in the world with her college friends or on the computer talking to one of his best friends. I think they hook up like 1 or 2 times a month for sex. So she's no prize either. I guess what I'm saying is, since the "online affair" will never become a real life affair, what does it hurt? Now if they actually intended to meet in real life and carry on, I'd say it's wrong, but the way it is, that won't happen. He gets his physical needs met by the gf. And he doesn't prefer to not talk to her, she just never has time for him. BECAUSE, if BOTH are spending THAT much TIME doing this,. Then there is a possibility that one of them might TRULLY be FEELING VERY CLOSE to the OTHER ONE, and if THAT happens SOMEONE WILL BE HURT. If THEY ENDED their ON-LINE relationship.. People really PISS me off when THEY "ACT", "FEEL", or "THINK" that THIS PLACE HERE, (the net) is ALL FUN and GAMES.. HELLO,,,,,There are REAL PEOPLE behind EVERY screen that TYPES! So REAL FEELINGS, "STILL" get "REALLY" HURT!!!! As to should ANY couple carry their selves LIKE THIS? NO, THEY, are NOT "real" with WANTING to be TOGETHER!! If TWO have LOVE,,,,WHY? Would THEY still have ANY desire to """"PLAY""""????????????????? With "ANOTHER????????

BlueskyJ Joined Tue 06/26/07 Posts: 2927	Wed 01/09/08 04:55 PM
It's amazing that everyone is telling you it is cheating yet you don't listen to any of us....Why Ask then?.... She doesn't really sound like his gf....more like his f#ck friend twice a month....Either way, everyone involved sounds like losers to me....you all deserve each other....

soldierforamerica Joined Wed 10/24/07 Posts: 3813	Wed 01/09/08 04:56 PM
what I really think you need to find is that woman who finds and brings the other women home for ya

Lil_Luvr_75 Joined Sat 02/10/07 Posts: 2178	Wed 01/09/08 04:57 PM


Monnie45 Joined Sat 12/15/07 Posts: 422	Wed 01/09/08 05:07 PM
It's amazing that everyone is telling you it is cheating yet you don't listen to any of us....Why Ask then?.... She doesn't really sound like his gf....more like his f#ck friend twice a month....Either way, everyone involved sounds like losers to me....you all deserve each other.... Amen! and the basics are what seperates animal from man,man is supposed to have emotions animals just do it because it is a basic need,get it?

Suzanne20 Joined Thu 11/15/07 Posts: 9261	Wed 01/09/08 05:11 PM
if you so much as have a dirty thought about another, you are commiting adultery

LLH5 Joined Mon 10/08/07 Posts: 553	Wed 01/09/08 06:39 PM
It's amazing that everyone is telling you it is cheating yet you don't listen to any of us....Why Ask then?.... She doesn't really sound like his gf....more like his f#ck friend twice a month....Either way, everyone involved sounds like losers to me....you all deserve each other.... You're right, they are FWB. This isn't a serious/exclusive relationship.

katydid34 Joined Mon 08/20/07 Posts: 659	Wed 01/09/08 09:28 PM
if he prefers to spend time on the computer and not spend it her then I say he is immature and does't deserve her Well, the funny thing is, she spends most of her time either out in the world with her college friends or on the computer talking to one of his best friends. I think they hook up like 1 or 2 times a month for sex. So she's no prize either. I guess what I'm saying is, since the "online affair" will never become a real life affair, what does it hurt? Now if they actually intended to meet in real life and carry on, I'd say it's wrong, but the way it is, that won't happen. He gets his physical needs met by the gf. And he doesn't prefer to not talk to her, she just never has time for him. Don't know if anyone asked you this question yet. I'm asking you because you're championing and making excuses for his behavior. If you were his girlfriend, how would you feel knowing he was doing this? If I was his gf, I wouldn't ignore him. I'd move in with him and he wouldn't have time- or the inclination- to find chat online.