Community > Posts By > inni_dreamz

 
inni_dreamz's photo
Fri 11/18/16 09:33 AM
In general?....

Meet at a public place, tell someone where you are going and give them as much information about the other person as you can.

Decide ahead if you are going dutch, to avoid any awkwardness at the end - if it's a meal, etc.

To each their own, but I think having sex on the first date is way too fast.

The rest is just having manners, like chew with your mouth closed, go to the restroom if you need to fart, don't steal the silverware....

inni_dreamz's photo
Fri 11/18/16 09:19 AM
In my humble opinion, there are many forms of love and you can feel it from talking and getting to know someone online. Once upon a time, people did it by writing letters to each other.

It's not the same as living with them, and dealing with day to day life - but that does not mean it is not real.

I agree, there can be a certain level of fantasy involved, so it's important to keep that in mind and not expect everything will be the same --- if you do take things to real life.


inni_dreamz's photo
Fri 11/18/16 09:09 AM
Go dutch.

inni_dreamz's photo
Fri 11/18/16 09:06 AM
Kenny, his car is broke and has been sitting in my driveway for over 6 months. I have started nagging him about it....

He lost his license due to a dui, and when I ask him what is going on with that he says "I don't know"...

inni_dreamz's photo
Fri 11/18/16 08:03 AM
He is still trying to figure that out. I think he inherited a bit of my capacity to be a dreamer. I grew out of it, to an extent - and realized I needed to make money to survive.

He thinks, because he does not want to have kids, that he doesn't need to make money (his words, not mine). He doesn't want to have a "soul $ucking" job. He's not interested in plumbing, tho - he shows potential for it - having worked on my house (self taught).

I understand where he's coming from, but I do not think he has a firm grip on reality. I don't know many people who want to slave away each day for just enough money to survive -but sometimes that's what it comes down to.

He's been reclusive since his return, staying in his room and making it awkward for me to try and talk to him.

inni_dreamz's photo
Thu 11/17/16 08:20 PM
Thank you :blush:... It is good to hear I am not the only one.

He's a good kid - I am sure he will figure it out and I do want to support him.


inni_dreamz's photo
Thu 11/17/16 06:08 PM
Thank you all so much, great advice and input!!

He moved back in because things didn't work out with the roomate. About 3 weeks later he got laid off from his job, and now he seems to be a little lost.

I am going to have to do a bit of the tough love thing. I agree, I always want my kids to feel like I am there for them, but not to the point where I am not preparing them for the realities of life - since I can't live forever.

I also agree that times are hard! My mom kicked me out at 17, and I had to live with a friend for 2 years before I could get out on my own.

I will never kick him out as long as I have a roof over my head. I do think he needs a pep talk - but he isn't very receptive.

I offered to pay for trade school and he told me he wasn't interested.

I disagree that its a bad idea to ask the folks here for input. There are a lot of good people here, and I may gain insight from others experiences.


inni_dreamz's photo
Thu 11/17/16 04:04 PM
I think it does have to do with scammers - makes it hard to know who is really interested in a friendship, and who is out to scam ya.

It's funny, as soon as I started asking "Are you a scammer" - I don't get any response.

Now, if someone asked me if I was a scammer, I would say no. I would not be offended by it... (shrugs)

It takes patience and those of us a bit older, it's even harder - less people to meet and chat with.

Please consider getting counseling if you feel you want to harm yourself.

I understand being lonely, and I would be happy to be your pen pal if you think that would help.

inni_dreamz's photo
Thu 11/17/16 03:54 PM
more chatter laugh

inni_dreamz's photo
Thu 11/17/16 03:51 PM
My oldest son, age 26, moved out for 6 months - then moved back in.... failure to launch.

I have been his only parent since he was 15 years old, and I can be too soft (admittedly).

He's had a rough time, his father is ...out of the picture and had a negative affect on him, for most of his life. I am, in some ways, trying to make up for that.

How can I inspire him to get some ambition, without making him feel like he's a failure?

I am NOT good at tough love - period - so it doesn't do much good to give me that sort of advice. It's not that I don't understand it - I just can't do it.

Thought I would toss this out for anyone who might have been in the same situation.

inni_dreamz's photo
Thu 11/17/16 03:50 PM
You know what they always say on dating sites...

"No response, is a response"


Just move on.

inni_dreamz's photo
Thu 11/17/16 03:45 PM
Make love not War flowers

inni_dreamz's photo
Thu 11/17/16 03:41 PM
Jaan_Doh ~ I love hearing success stories!!

I am happy for all who have met someone and are happy!

Sorry for your friend who is not well.

inni_dreamz's photo
Thu 11/17/16 03:36 PM
waving


I live in Southern California, well acquainted with earthquakes rofl



inni_dreamz's photo
Thu 11/17/16 03:31 PM
Edited by inni_dreamz on Thu 11/17/16 03:32 PM
I can see how it would be some what liberating, but it seems a little sad to me.

I was married to a narcissist for a long time - so I do know the feeling. He said he loved me, but when I asked him why - he said "because you put up with my chit"....

I'm not sure what things have the same outcome 9.99 percent of the time in this situation, but certainly - we all have our own ways of learning, growing, dealing with things, and what we believe is beneficial. :)


waving

inni_dreamz's photo
Thu 11/17/16 03:27 PM
At my age, I'm looking for a bf who still wants to have sex.laugh

inni_dreamz's photo
Thu 11/17/16 03:26 PM
I think it's harder because the pool is so much smaller. Most guys my age are married. laugh

I can see benefits too - as mentioned above.

It's never easy - and obviously, I didn't do it right the first time, or I wouldn't be divorced and single. shades


Patience....

inni_dreamz's photo
Thu 11/17/16 09:51 AM
^^^ :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

inni_dreamz's photo
Thu 11/17/16 09:49 AM
Beautiful ~ so very sorry for your loss.

inni_dreamz's photo
Thu 11/17/16 09:47 AM
carbon dating?

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