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| Topic: is it supposed to be this tough??? | |
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I knew that after my divorce I would need some time, and definitely want some time before even thinking about dating again. Three years later, after very few dates, I guess mostly because of my own personal prefereences and shyness, I have yet to meet but one quality person. I really didn't think with all the lonely people out there, it would justly take this long. I have discovered that women, unfortunately, just like men, are very particular about looks more than personality. Does anyone look at a picture, of a person, maybe just someone in the grocery store or here on this site, and think to themselves "wow, he /she isn't a 10, but they seem to be having fun and might be great to get to now---what can it hurt". So I ask you, am I wrong? Is it supposed to be this tough? Can anyone just get past the looks and find out what else lies beneath. I understand that most of the time, its looks that attract and bring us into wanting to know a person---after all, its the very first impression and no one knows anything about another person until they spend time together....but seriously, is there another way I am missing? Last thought----whats wrong with me? Reality self-imposed is that I am not a 10, hell I'd be lucky to be a 7, but there is just so much more, and no one gives that chance. Any comments are welcome! Good luck to all.
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Three years...amateur
I've been alone 11 years...holding out for that one quality person, be yourself, don't settle and keep your heart open. There's someone out there for you and she'll come when the time is right, keep working on yourself. Don't beat yourself up..there's nothing "wrong" with any of us. Good Luck man  |
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I spent longer than three years just to find the right car.
I figure finding the love of my life may just take a little longer. Keep up the search dude. She's out there. |
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 Divorced 5 years......waiting for the perfect man for me...not the perfect man. However, if you consider yourself a "7", are you looking into the "7" looking girls, or the "10" looking girls? Since appereance seems to be so important, are you looking for someone that matches you? Someone that is on the same page as you concerning physical appereance? |
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So I ask you, am I wrong? Is it supposed to be this tough? I never thought it was supposed to be, but it clearly is. Since my last relationship ended about a year and a half ago, I haven't been able to find anyone suitable, compatible, or even interesting enough to think about getting involved with. I finally had to face the fact that the kind of relationship I want isn't out there. Should I settle and become somebody's cardboard cutout? Nahhhh, I'm not gonna be doing that. |
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Wow is that all guys try 19 years and by now it is looking like there will be many more.
Right when you think you have found someone you get to see the person for who they really are and well back to the start...... 
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maybe its because u are shy? thats what has been told to me about myself. very few do i feel totally comfortable with.. even online.. if im interested in them... though i am getting much better, and like i said some but few that im interested in i can feel a little more my self.. its the strangest thing how i can actually be sooo shy yet when i get to know someone they could never tell i was that way..i guess i get nervous around someone im attracted to... and for me i never think hey that guy isnt a 10 but hes fun or nice... who cares if he isnt a 10? yes i do need to be attracted but i have never thought that way... i just think hey... he seems interesting...
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Wow is that all guys try 19 years and by now it is looking like there will be many more. Right when you think you have found someone you get to see the person for who they really are and well back to the start...... i have been divorced for 21yrs.. i thought that was along time my parents got divorced when i was 11 yr in that area and they have been divorced for 33yrs my mom never remarried. so i have to say thats a heck of a long time there was a guy that i was talking to the other day. as to find out hes also on dialysis and he had felt the same exact way i was feeling havent him in person yet but he sounds like a very nice person. and i know exactly what we have gone through 3 days week |
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Instant gratification in mating? Come now, Rome was not built in a day. Burned in a day yes but not built. At least you got the go g to go out there and play but don't act so serious about it. Get your act together and don't play that whole "broken wing" crap. Sympathy gets you no where. I've been here a few months more for the socialization and would like to meet someone of quality as well and I get let down a lot because humans are just humans. I want someone a little better than that and have I found her yet? Well, needless to say I am a hopeless romantic because I hope above hope she is out there but I am not going to kill myself over anyone else but me right now. I think the one thing I see the most in any woman is instinctual self interest. Look at how many dramas we see where the girl marries the guy she does not love for her personal security. Don't look to insecure women first of all. If they need a "Prince in shining armor," or some other crap like that move on. If you need a clingy, needful woman then party on.
Even rich guys with money pouring out of their ***** hop from relationship to relationship for all the wrong reasons and are never really happy like us poor bastards. Just try to find someone who wants to share happiness over pushing for a committed relationship. The commitment will come later. You got to keep in mind nothing is guaranteed with any relationship. it can go perfect at first only to degenerate into a nasty miasma of hatred. Watch Coming To America with Eddie Murphy. That exemplifies what you have to look foreword to dating in America! LOVE AMERICAN STYLE! |
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Is it supposed to be this tough? 
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Single 6 years now.
I have found that most of my difficulty is of my own doing. I am not "ready" yet. So the difficulty can be ourselves letting us know we are not quite ready. Getting impatient cannot be helpful, I wouldn't think. |
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Nothing worth having comes easy.
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Edited by
heartSoul
on
Tue 03/09/10 06:53 PM
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I've been single a LOT longer than 3 yrs.....
 It's deciding between what you want and what you need in your life. Once that question is answered, you'll look at things in a whole different light. Can't put a rush on finding the person that should be in your life. That may be the issue. Instead of looking for someone, maybe you should let the person find you. |
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I knew that after my divorce I would need some time, and definitely want some time before even thinking about dating again. Three years later, after very few dates, I guess mostly because of my own personal prefereences and shyness, I have yet to meet but one quality person. I really didn't think with all the lonely people out there, it would justly take this long. I have discovered that women, unfortunately, just like men, are very particular about looks more than personality. Does anyone look at a picture, of a person, maybe just someone in the grocery store or here on this site, and think to themselves "wow, he /she isn't a 10, but they seem to be having fun and might be great to get to now---what can it hurt". So I ask you, am I wrong? Is it supposed to be this tough? Can anyone just get past the looks and find out what else lies beneath. I understand that most of the time, its looks that attract and bring us into wanting to know a person---after all, its the very first impression and no one knows anything about another person until they spend time together....but seriously, is there another way I am missing? Last thought----whats wrong with me? Reality self-imposed is that I am not a 10, hell I'd be lucky to be a 7, but there is just so much more, and no one gives that chance. Any comments are welcome! Good luck to all. You're doing it wrong. |
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I knew that after my divorce I would need some time, and definitely want some time before even thinking about dating again. Three years later, after very few dates, I guess mostly because of my own personal prefereences and shyness, I have yet to meet but one quality person. I really didn't think with all the lonely people out there, it would justly take this long. I have discovered that women, unfortunately, just like men, are very particular about looks more than personality. Does anyone look at a picture, of a person, maybe just someone in the grocery store or here on this site, and think to themselves "wow, he /she isn't a 10, but they seem to be having fun and might be great to get to now---what can it hurt". So I ask you, am I wrong? Is it supposed to be this tough? Can anyone just get past the looks and find out what else lies beneath. I understand that most of the time, its looks that attract and bring us into wanting to know a person---after all, its the very first impression and no one knows anything about another person until they spend time together....but seriously, is there another way I am missing? Last thought----whats wrong with me? Reality self-imposed is that I am not a 10, hell I'd be lucky to be a 7, but there is just so much more, and no one gives that chance. Any comments are welcome! Good luck to all. You're doing it wrong. 
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I knew that after my divorce I would need some time, and definitely want some time before even thinking about dating again. Three years later, after very few dates, I guess mostly because of my own personal prefereences and shyness, I have yet to meet but one quality person. I really didn't think with all the lonely people out there, it would justly take this long. I have discovered that women, unfortunately, just like men, are very particular about looks more than personality. Does anyone look at a picture, of a person, maybe just someone in the grocery store or here on this site, and think to themselves "wow, he /she isn't a 10, but they seem to be having fun and might be great to get to now---what can it hurt". So I ask you, am I wrong? Is it supposed to be this tough? Can anyone just get past the looks and find out what else lies beneath. I understand that most of the time, its looks that attract and bring us into wanting to know a person---after all, its the very first impression and no one knows anything about another person until they spend time together....but seriously, is there another way I am missing? Last thought----whats wrong with me? Reality self-imposed is that I am not a 10, hell I'd be lucky to be a 7, but there is just so much more, and no one gives that chance. Any comments are welcome! Good luck to all. You're doing it wrong. Back at ya!
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I knew that after my divorce I would need some time, and definitely want some time before even thinking about dating again. Three years later, after very few dates, I guess mostly because of my own personal prefereences and shyness, I have yet to meet but one quality person. I really didn't think with all the lonely people out there, it would justly take this long. I have discovered that women, unfortunately, just like men, are very particular about looks more than personality. Does anyone look at a picture, of a person, maybe just someone in the grocery store or here on this site, and think to themselves "wow, he /she isn't a 10, but they seem to be having fun and might be great to get to now---what can it hurt". So I ask you, am I wrong? Is it supposed to be this tough? Can anyone just get past the looks and find out what else lies beneath. I understand that most of the time, its looks that attract and bring us into wanting to know a person---after all, its the very first impression and no one knows anything about another person until they spend time together....but seriously, is there another way I am missing? Last thought----whats wrong with me? Reality self-imposed is that I am not a 10, hell I'd be lucky to be a 7, but there is just so much more, and no one gives that chance. Any comments are welcome! Good luck to all. You're doing it wrong. Back at ya! 
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I knew that after my divorce I would need some time, and definitely want some time before even thinking about dating again. Three years later, after very few dates, I guess mostly because of my own personal prefereences and shyness, I have yet to meet but one quality person. I really didn't think with all the lonely people out there, it would justly take this long. I have discovered that women, unfortunately, just like men, are very particular about looks more than personality. Does anyone look at a picture, of a person, maybe just someone in the grocery store or here on this site, and think to themselves "wow, he /she isn't a 10, but they seem to be having fun and might be great to get to now---what can it hurt". So I ask you, am I wrong? Is it supposed to be this tough? Can anyone just get past the looks and find out what else lies beneath. I understand that most of the time, its looks that attract and bring us into wanting to know a person---after all, its the very first impression and no one knows anything about another person until they spend time together....but seriously, is there another way I am missing? Last thought----whats wrong with me? Reality self-imposed is that I am not a 10, hell I'd be lucky to be a 7, but there is just so much more, and no one gives that chance. Any comments are welcome! Good luck to all. You're doing it wrong. 
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I knew that after my divorce I would need some time, and definitely want some time before even thinking about dating again. Three years later, after very few dates, I guess mostly because of my own personal prefereences and shyness, I have yet to meet but one quality person. I really didn't think with all the lonely people out there, it would justly take this long. I have discovered that women, unfortunately, just like men, are very particular about looks more than personality. Does anyone look at a picture, of a person, maybe just someone in the grocery store or here on this site, and think to themselves "wow, he /she isn't a 10, but they seem to be having fun and might be great to get to now---what can it hurt". So I ask you, am I wrong? Is it supposed to be this tough? Can anyone just get past the looks and find out what else lies beneath. I understand that most of the time, its looks that attract and bring us into wanting to know a person---after all, its the very first impression and no one knows anything about another person until they spend time together....but seriously, is there another way I am missing? Last thought----whats wrong with me? Reality self-imposed is that I am not a 10, hell I'd be lucky to be a 7, but there is just so much more, and no one gives that chance. Any comments are welcome! Good luck to all. You're doing it wrong. I killed it. 
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I knew that after my divorce I would need some time, and definitely want some time before even thinking about dating again. Three years later, after very few dates, I guess mostly because of my own personal prefereences and shyness, I have yet to meet but one quality person. I really didn't think with all the lonely people out there, it would justly take this long. I have discovered that women, unfortunately, just like men, are very particular about looks more than personality. Does anyone look at a picture, of a person, maybe just someone in the grocery store or here on this site, and think to themselves "wow, he /she isn't a 10, but they seem to be having fun and might be great to get to now---what can it hurt". So I ask you, am I wrong? Is it supposed to be this tough? Can anyone just get past the looks and find out what else lies beneath. I understand that most of the time, its looks that attract and bring us into wanting to know a person---after all, its the very first impression and no one knows anything about another person until they spend time together....but seriously, is there another way I am missing? Last thought----whats wrong with me? Reality self-imposed is that I am not a 10, hell I'd be lucky to be a 7, but there is just so much more, and no one gives that chance. Any comments are welcome! Good luck to all. You're doing it wrong. I killed it.  Biotch!!!
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