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| Topic: Nice Guys | |
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Why don't women just come out and admit that they don't like "nice" guys?  Thats funny indeed!! Usually generalised statements loses their core meaning & remains just funny like this. Generalisation also makes injustice generally. |
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why did my thread about nice guys get overrun by information on 'bad' boys,,,,  jeesh, try to ask a simple question,,, I hear ya sis. I was kinda thinking this was going to happen. For myself I like being a nice guy. The bad boy issue is old and short lived. Quite frankly playing the bad boy for a season was boring and damaging. Glad I didn't stay that way long. Romance, music, being sweet, caring, adventurous, faithful, generous, soft spoken, slow to anger, sexy, polite, thoughtful, good sense of humor, positive, peace making to name a few are the qualities I seek for myself. A woman who can't deal with that can have all the bad boys she wants cause she isn't getting me. I'm sure there are a ton of nice guys on here but they are probably just a little on the shy side because so many people today live by the rule "the loudest wins". Nice guys usually don't play that. Here's a clue ladies, if your hunting for a nice guy listen to what the guys on here are not saying and you will start to find them. |
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Edited by
justme659
on
Sat 07/09/11 07:06 PM
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I'm sure there are a ton of nice guys on here but they are probably just a little on the shy side because so many people today live by the rule "the loudest wins". Nice guys usually don't play that. I think this sentiment goes both ways. Hint, hint...for the nice guys trying to find a nice gal. |
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I'm sure there are a ton of nice guys on here but they are probably just a little on the shy side because so many people today live by the rule "the loudest wins". Nice guys usually don't play that. I think this sentiment goes both ways. Hint, hint...for the nice guys trying to find a nice gal. I agree with this. Yelling loudly that you're a nice guy or a bad boy isn't going to be the best thing. |
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Edited by
indianadave4
on
Sat 07/09/11 07:51 PM
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I'm sure there are a ton of nice guys on here but they are probably just a little on the shy side because so many people today live by the rule "the loudest wins". Nice guys usually don't play that. I think this sentiment goes both ways. Hint, hint...for the nice guys trying to find a nice gal. I agree with this. Yelling loudly that you're a nice guy or a bad boy isn't going to be the best thing. Bad boys don't advertise themselves. They come on like they are everything the woman wants. They know all the buttons to push. Most of the nice guys are a bit more reserved and don't know all of these advantages |
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We're hiding.
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I'm sure there are a ton of nice guys on here but they are probably just a little on the shy side because so many people today live by the rule "the loudest wins". Nice guys usually don't play that. I think this sentiment goes both ways. Hint, hint...for the nice guys trying to find a nice gal. I agree with this. Yelling loudly that you're a nice guy or a bad boy isn't going to be the best thing. Bad boys don't advertise themselves. They come on like they are everything the woman wants. They know all the buttons to push. Most of the nice guys are a bit more reserved and don't know all of these advantages I agree .. with all of this. |
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I'm sure there are a ton of nice guys on here but they are probably just a little on the shy side because so many people today live by the rule "the loudest wins". Nice guys usually don't play that. I think this sentiment goes both ways. Hint, hint...for the nice guys trying to find a nice gal. I agree with this. Yelling loudly that you're a nice guy or a bad boy isn't going to be the best thing. Bad boys don't advertise themselves. They come on like they are everything the woman wants. They know all the buttons to push. Most of the nice guys are a bit more reserved and don't know all of these advantages I agree .. with all of this. One would think that if a guy seemed to good to be true initially women would be more cautious. Most "nice guys" may have the character a woman is looking for but are, usually, not so over confident and a bit shy to begin with. |
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I know a nice guy...he is kind, loving, passionate, funny, sincerely, beautiful inside and out and spends time with me... i call him my friend. half d time nice guys end up being just friends because they do the things your man won't do without the heaache and drama of a relationship.
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Edited by
actionlynx
on
Sun 07/10/11 01:54 PM
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I know a nice guy...he is kind, loving, passionate, funny, sincerely, beautiful inside and out and spends time with me... i call him my friend. half d time nice guys end up being just friends because they do the things your man won't do without the heaache and drama of a relationship. This was a point a tried to make in my first post. Often I end up in the friend zone. When I express that I want to be more than a friend, I get the "can't we just remain friends" line. How does a guy try to be a honest, respectful, and open-minded (ETC.) toward women without falling into this trap, especially when the same women will admit that they are attracted to you? I have talked casually with a number of women who simply refuse to date friends. Meanwhile, many woman state "friends first". It's very confusing. On top of that, I prefer to date women I have known for a while. I like to have a good sense of who she is, and vice versa. If there are women out there who prefer to do the same, I'm apparently meeting all the wrongs. 
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Edited by
Alterette
on
Sun 07/10/11 02:30 PM
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I know a nice guy...he is kind, loving, passionate, funny, sincerely, beautiful inside and out and spends time with me... i call him my friend. half d time nice guys end up being just friends because they do the things your man won't do without the heaache and drama of a relationship. Wow! Very valid point. I hadn't thought of that but you know, it's true.  You know, most of my male friends are gay. Out of the group, there are three hetero males: one is a childhood friend who is married, one is my ex and the other was married but is now in prison. I guess what I am looking for is someone I'm attracted to personality wise (because I truly don't care about looks), who is single, hetero, actually a nice guy and wants to get to know me. If we are compatible (or become even more attracted by knowing each other), then he must be willing to make a commitment before expecting sex. Does such a man exist these days? If it gets that far, then he will get it all, Baby. My heart, my loyalty, my body, my friendship ... you name it. |
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example:woman who meets a nice guy after the date she says "well your a nice guy and everything but....."
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Sometimes I feel that most women use "nice guy" to describe a man they never really knew well enough to decide one way or the other. Instead, they expected fireworks on the first date, but found them lacking.
You know, I thought about that while listening to the radio today. On WFAN, they were talking about Derek Jeter's 3000th hit - how the fan who caught the ball gave it back to Jeter, asking for nothing in return. Then one caller began talking about how many "nice guys" have been on the Yankees over the past 15 years. The host of the show then cautioned, "let's not get too carried away in our adoration because in truth none of us really know these players in person." Seriously, that was the conversation. Then I read new responses in the "nice guy" threads, and I began thinking of that radio conversation. So, do women send a mixed signal by saying the want a nice guy, but then when it comes to men they've met, they only described their rejects as nice guys simply because they passed judgment before really getting to know the guy and don't want to say anything bad? Does anyone see what I'm getting at? Are "nice guys" really a myth born from years of mixed signals? |
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Have you ever read "He's Not All That Into You?" Guys have code phrases for things like, "It's not you, it's me" when it really IS you and they're trying to let you down easy.
Women have code phrases too. And for some women, telling you you're a "nice guy but" sometimes means that they're not attracted to you; they just don't want to hurt your feelings. |
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Have you ever read "He's Not All That Into You?" Guys have code phrases for things like, "It's not you, it's me" when it really IS you and they're trying to let you down easy. Women have code phrases too. And for some women, telling you you're a "nice guy but" sometimes means that they're not attracted to you; they just don't want to hurt your feelings. If you're a guy who didn't exactly get dealt ladykiller looks by nature in the attractiveness department and a survivor, you learn to watch for the signs that 'she's just not that into you' and walk off into the sunset before even being asked. You learn to base your self worth on what good you've done with your life and your achievements NOT on how pretty a so-called 'mate' you have on your arm. There's something to be said about sustaining one's self through a famine and something sad about another who starves despite living in a perpetual feast. Some of the loneliest people are the most attractive and some of the most content are those that soar with the eagles. -Kerry O. |
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If you're a guy who didn't exactly get dealt ladykiller looks by nature in the attractiveness department and a survivor, you learn to watch for the signs that 'she's just not that into you' and walk off into the sunset before even being asked. You learn to base your self worth on what good you've done with your life and your achievements NOT on how pretty a so-called 'mate' you have on your arm. -Kerry O. This is so true -- and I don't know if it's "wisdom" or just simple resignation, but I have reached the point where I can accept the idea that there just aren't going to be any more relationships for me. I understand that I don't need another person in order to function. I understand that my own worth does not have (and never did have) anything to do with my status as an adjunct to another person. |
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Why don't women just come out and admit that they don't like "nice" guys? Or maybe women should offer their definition of a "nice" guy? After all this discussion began because of one woman calling nice guys forward, and from there evolved into a discussion of nice guy vs. bad boy. The whole basis of the discussion....the bare essence....is the mixed signals many women give men. Therefore, it is up to the women to enlighten the men, not vice versa. with tattoos, so apparently in your eyes, that's a bad boy. Speaking for myself only, I don't really go for the self proclaimed nice guys, as they're not really nice guys. I've said this before. I think some other women have said the same thing. However, there are absolutely genuinely decent guys out there. They're not the same as the self proclaimed nice guys. They don't complain about finishing last. They don't complain about women going for bad boys instead. That being said, just be yourself. Don't worry so much about being a nice guy, or losing out to the bad boys. Exactly what we gals were saying. You don't need to proclaim you are a nice guy; just be yourself.
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Many men claim they're a "nice guy". But seriously, i'm never convinced unless i get to know them. Saying it, won't win you any prizes. You're no better a man than any other. I'm not that stupid that i fall for a "nice" guy almost straight away. This isn't some rom com (romance movie), it's real life.
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Sometimes I feel that most women use "nice guy" to describe a man they never really knew well enough to decide one way or the other. Instead, they expected fireworks on the first date, but found them lacking. You know, I thought about that while listening to the radio today. On WFAN, they were talking about Derek Jeter's 3000th hit - how the fan who caught the ball gave it back to Jeter, asking for nothing in return. Then one caller began talking about how many "nice guys" have been on the Yankees over the past 15 years. The host of the show then cautioned, "let's not get too carried away in our adoration because in truth none of us really know these players in person." Seriously, that was the conversation. Then I read new responses in the "nice guy" threads, and I began thinking of that radio conversation. So, do women send a mixed signal by saying the want a nice guy, but then when it comes to men they've met, they only described their rejects as nice guys simply because they passed judgment before really getting to know the guy and don't want to say anything bad? Does anyone see what I'm getting at? Are "nice guys" really a myth born from years of mixed signals? I think nice just applies in so many places, just like 'love' does there are all types of 'nice' and all types of 'love' many a wonderful guy has been 'nice', but not all nice guys are wonderful, I Think women are trying to be polite and express whats good about a guy when they pick the adjective 'nice' to describe him to others usually a gal wants a guy who they feel is 'wonderful', but that doesnt mean they arent 'nice' as well,,,,its just a different level of nice |
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How can they tell the difference if they never give the guy a chance, never take the time to get to know him?
That's what I was getting at. Women say they want a nice guy, but often they will let the nice guy go. Then when they refer to him as a nice guy, it really seems to mean he is mediocre. |
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