ok people lets be honest here ... sometimes when it comes to age we all take it a little far dont we.

i am not talking like a 45 year old woman dating a 19 year old man or vica versa, but is there a reason people often pull the "oh your to young for me card" when there is a 3-5 year difference?

i find men (as per the stereotype) are much more willing to drift in age range, why is it that woman are so harsh on the age range?

comments

To be fair people with fixed ideas on relationships whether it be age/colour/social demographic will usually end up with the same results... Variety is the spice of life in my opinion.

I do agree though women are more fixed on the age thing though but not in all cases...

if we are going to generalize

I think the age thing may not be as much an issue with men because they are often only concerned with appearances and sex

and women,, probably, are more likely to be considering the mutual responsibility in a relationship,, and whether their partner is in a similar intellectual/emotional stage to share those responsibilities with,,,

Generalizations tend to be overly simplistic and absolute including this one! As for age differentiation the conventional wisdom is men date younger women without criticism and women denigrated for dating younger men though the term cougar has encouraged younger men to pursue attractive more mature women to facilitate more immediate and direct sexual favors with less courtship building requisites. A few women enjoy the initial sexual power they have over younger more motivated males but tend to quickly bore with most else as the males may not be on the same educational, social, economic or developmental level as the seasoned woman. Life is not fair and many folks struggle with this truism. For myself i limit my females in age from 40 to 53 and anyone else i feel uncomfortable as they tend to lack energy, endurance,and tend to be more traditional and less inclined to share a more liberal and active lifestyle to which i am accustomed.. In the real world opinions vary and tolerance is the needed attitude toward all and sundry....

Grin - a solid point on the variety aspect and overall closed mindedness of people.

Harmony - I do agree that all of those are valid points, and generally men have the "she's pretty and she likes me mentality" (which can be both a positive output and have a very negative impact if the other person has bad intentions).

My issue with the female side of it is, once they get that though in their minds sometimes they just dig there heels in.

I may be an overall maturity thing, but I have found that the majority of people in life do NOT have the **** together (men & women alike) ... very few people are completely solid and confident in them selves.

(This is an egregious generalization but...) I have found that the majority of women that are overly negative to age differences (and mostly the young man scenario) often are looking to be 'taken care of' and never really stop to look whats starring them in the face.

Thruth be told, women think all young men think about is sex ... but I hate to inform them, that that doesnt change with age. Once a man is 25 he is basically the person he is gonna be.

Personally it's a personality and maturity difference. Not so much the age. But if their immature no thanks

Well a 45 year old woman with a 19 year old boy is kind of sick! On the other hand I have a 30 year old daughter, but I don't have a problem dating younger guy's ....I was seeing a 32 year old....it was great for a while only I think he expected me to take care of him. The way I see it I've already raised my kids so age is not that important as long as both people people have th e understanding & can pull their own weight!

Both of those are direct and very adult responses to the topic ... Any relationship (no matter the age difference) should have one party as a true dependent on the other.

Adults are adults ... gotta take care of your self right.

I dunno personally I'd feel weird with anyone that much younger than me and I cant say that someone that much older would have the same interests as I do. So I go by a four year rule.

For me it's also about maturity. And no, an adult is not an adult.
Officially one is an adult at age 18, but what does an 18 year old know about life, the universe and everything?
When you look back age 30 to who you were approx age 18, you'll see that you thought you knew it all, but now you're older, you clearly see you didn't know jack. And that process continues throughout life.
So an adult is not an adult.

Apart from that, I wouldn't feel too comfy with a guy 15 years younger. I'm talking laws of physics (grey hair, wrinkles, gravitational pull and such )
Knowing a guy 15 yrs younger could also easily be with a woman 20 years younger than me, I'd feel rather uncomfortable.

I draw the line around age 42-43. And yeah, if I was to fall madly in love with a 38 year old mature man, I wouldn't turn him down. But that's the exception to the rule that could happen.

I don't think age is as much a big deal as compatability ,interests
functionality,peer pressure/influence.....

3 -5 years isn't a big deal. 10 years is a bit much for me.

I think it does depend on the person and the compatibility.
I am 48 and I have problems convincing people my Daughter is not my friend or my Sister, and that my Grand Daughter who is 18 months old, is actually NOT my child!
I have always seemed to attract younger men, I have never actually dated an older guy. My ex husband was a year younger than me and boyfriends have ranged in ages from 2 to 10 years younger.I do draw the line at a 19 year old, I wouldn't know to do with him! :)

Jo xxx

I've dated women twenty years younger than me that I had more in common with than a lot of women my own age. It's not just about sex. Supposedly younger women going with older guys are looking for someone with money and the ability to give them a lifestyle that they want but really it's the older women that want that in my experience. I was with an older woman and one of the reasons that that didn't work out was that it wasn't good enough for her that we just had fun together.

Agreed!

Personally I find we all tend to try for the age we think we want! Perhaps a 3-5 year difference has nothing to do with the age difference but with something else they feel doesn't click for them.
I mean seriously, 3 to 5 years is nothing either way - up or down! So they may be just using it as an excuse.

I have found so many men stuck at the highest age they would consider is:
* up to their age (not the majority) or
* up to 3-5 years below their age.

My ex wife was 7 years older than me. It was great up until she hit her 50's and then she changed. That being said, I don't have a problem at all with older women. I felt kind of icky though when I went out with a 27 year old.

Personally I prefer an older man. I am 37 & I prefer men ages 38-46. I find that younger guys do not stimulate me mentally for long & older men (48+) often treat me like a little girl, are set in their ways, and aren't as virile as a younger guy. I only want to be a mother to my son and don't want to wait for the viagara to kick in for intimacy. These reasons are why age is a factor for me

A man over the age of 46 that takes care of himself has no need for that little blu pill.