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Community > Posts By > mountainwatergirl
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Topic:
Men
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Why is it hard for men to explain or express their feelings? For every one woman that wants a man to explain or express his feelings to them there are several women that would consider him weak and less than a man if he did. It is a difficult balancing act to know when and to whom to do this. After all we are raised not to cry, not to be scared, to show no fear, and to be aggressive. All things that many women now struggle with dealing with. I agree with you on most of your post.. sorry but not all boys are raised being told not to cry, or raised agressive. I have 2 men i raised. Neither were taught agression or discouraged from crying. They were told they were free to express their feelings and encouraged to... i also set the example for this. Still... one of my sons will not cry... even though the tears are trying hard to come through... he holds back with all hes got... he also will not share his feelings at all. My older son shared his feelings from infantcy, and cries when he feels like it... go figure. Its all different. I apologize - I should not of generalized the response as all men. Its ok, no apology needed. But thanks for throwing it out there so willingly. 
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Topic:
Men
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Why is it hard for men to explain or express their feelings? Because for most males there are only two that they and you as a female have to deal with 24-7. Most are hungry and horny.If you see one without an erection, make him a sandwich... 
Yup, they're right... some men have classy jokes, and some just gross erection sex jokes. Rule of thumb should be, if there are ladies in the room, keep your sex jokes to yourself and other men. Not all women are tolerant of it. Im sick of reading it |
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Topic:
Men
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Why is it hard for men to explain or express their feelings? Well, a man would explain his feelings if a woman would remain quiet long enough for the man to get a word in.
Here come the rocks again. [Dodo_David runs away.] 
We would remain quiet long enough for a man to get a word in but it takes them so long to form a coherent thought that we'd have one foot in the grave before they could respond
With older men... SO true 
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Topic:
Men
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Why is it hard for men to explain or express their feelings? For every one woman that wants a man to explain or express his feelings to them there are several women that would consider him weak and less than a man if he did. It is a difficult balancing act to know when and to whom to do this. After all we are raised not to cry, not to be scared, to show no fear, and to be aggressive. All things that many women now struggle with dealing with. I agree with you on most of your post.. sorry but not all boys are raised being told not to cry, or raised agressive. I have 2 men i raised. Neither were taught agression or discouraged from crying. They were told they were free to express their feelings and encouraged to... i also set the example for this. Still... one of my sons will not cry... even though the tears are trying hard to come through... he holds back with all hes got... he also will not share his feelings at all. My older son shared his feelings from infantcy, and cries when he feels like it... go figure. Its all different. |
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Edited by
mountainwatergirl
on
Sun 02/17/13 05:08 PM
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I was gonna quote something TawtStrat had mentioned, but it wouldn't all fit into my browser, so I'll mention it without the quotes. He mentioned that as long as you ask his family, then there's hardly much room for doubt. I completely agree with this. If you need even more evidence other than asking their families, then either you have trust issues or are over-exaggerating. What more evidence do you need? Is my point. I would agree with asking family 4 years ago. but since then, i met a family that didnt reveal any truth about my ex. They helped him cover up who and what by never getting personal. They stayed on the surface with everything. The only clue i got was the look in their eyes... his mother's look was the most revealing... when i met her, she starred at me saying goodbye one night with a very concerned look... almost scared. It wasnt enough to warn me of anything so 3 plus years later, now i know what it all meant. You wont know anything if someone doesnt share everything. I get it that a lot of people are good trustworthy people... but there are so many creeps out there that arent, you wont know what happened until the damage is done. There are tons of reasons women are online and wont meet. Could just be shes keeping her space for her own protection. But you have said here that they helped him cover up by never getting personal. You talk about the look in his mother's eyes. In hindsight these should have been alarm bells but you ignored them. We've all done it. This is your argument: I would have agreed four years ago but I met a family that covered up by never getting personal. Therefore meeting their family means nothing. In general your argument seems to be that you met some people that were untrustworthy, so you can't really trust anybody. It seems a bit silly to me. At the end of the day it's yourself that you don't trust. You have been fooled by people and you think that makes you a fool. Tawt, no one can know for sure what a look is all about. Its too subtle. this look was only obvious after i found out what a monster her son was. that look could've been anything. Its not about seeing it and ignoring it. Its nothing at the time. You cant make anything of it. his family, were not untrustworthy. I did not say that. I said they covered up everything and wouldnt talk to me about things. Everything seemed normal and healthy for the first year. Sure, i saw those infamous red flags, but like all the other trusting people out there, i gave it the benefit of the doubt. Last time ever. how can you get that wrong when its in writting for you to refer to? Maybe im not saying things right. Idk i didnt say i cannot trust anybody, i said i wouldnt just be trusting to a strange man right off the bat. Isnt that how people get hurt or killed? I learned a lot recently and i will not forget it for any reason. It would take far more than the year i gave it last time, partnered with investigating before i trusted when my back is turned. Maybe never again i dont know. The damage a lover can cause is serious! This is why it is written to take care of a persons heart... its NOT to play with. I read every post of yours... youve been through some wicked stuff... but i dont read that youve been truly, madly, deeply in love with a person that mistreated you in EVERY way possible. One person, not many...lied to hundrrds of times... slandered...rejected...beaten... it messes with a person to the point of mental breakdown... therapy is required. Even a dog wouldnt trust a human again... Please, don't touch my trust issues anymore... i am the product of abuse. I did feel like a fool... too many times to count... and never again... thank you. |
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Edited by
mountainwatergirl
on
Sun 02/17/13 09:08 AM
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I was gonna quote something TawtStrat had mentioned, but it wouldn't all fit into my browser, so I'll mention it without the quotes. He mentioned that as long as you ask his family, then there's hardly much room for doubt. I completely agree with this. If you need even more evidence other than asking their families, then either you have trust issues or are over-exaggerating. What more evidence do you need? Is my point. I would agree with asking family 4 years ago. but since then, i met a family that didnt reveal any truth about my ex. They helped him cover up who and what by never getting personal. They stayed on the surface with everything. The only clue i got was the look in their eyes... his mother's look was the most revealing... when i met her, she starred at me saying goodbye one night with a very concerned look... almost scared. It wasnt enough to warn me of anything so 3 plus years later, now i know what it all meant. You wont know anything if someone doesnt share everything. I get it that a lot of people are good trustworthy people... but there are so many creeps out there that arent, you wont know what happened until the damage is done. There are tons of reasons women are online and wont meet. Could just be shes keeping her space for her own protection. |
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Here's another question... Have you ever sent a person flowers, even though you weren't expecting nothing in return? Of course. Now you have no pants left |
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I would not have any expectations. Especially meeting someone for the first time face-to-face. In truth, I'd be very uncomfortable with the idea of spending the night with someone I'd just met regardless of how long I'd known them on a site or otherwise. In my humble opinion, this amounts to a booty call, even if you have a standing "relationship" with this person. It implies that the meeting is less about furthering a connection with someone as a potential mate and more about fulfilling a physical need/want. 
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Only if I were married to the person. I prefer to save some things for marriage. Your pants are on fire |
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Edited by
mountainwatergirl
on
Sat 02/16/13 11:27 PM
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I'd have to say if a woman is ho-humming on metting you... shes not who she says she is... shes really married or involved with someone already and just fishing for attention...or just not that into you. Take your pick. Now I'm confused. Weren't you giving the thumbs up to Athena for exactly this sort of procrastination? Uh... I Dont think so??? Thumbs up for procrastination? can you please clarify? This post isnt personal to my dealings. I'm helping think of reasons. |
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Topic:
rekindle
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I think rekindling is for marriages.
otherwise, extremely rare or not a good option. |
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Topic:
Intelligence
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Psh... I know intelligence is not required. If you are intelligent, you will dry up waiting for him to care.
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Topic:
Go away
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Why is it when you tell a guy to go away ...I'm done they won't leave you alone??? Hey Downtoearthdebbie!!! i dont know why some are like that its both sad and pathetic. This is currently my dilemma too! Good to see you posting here maybe they are simply hoping you'll change your mind and settle for them. ive only got my opinion... i had trouble letting go to all my long terms. But i gave up after a couple times trying to reconcile. |
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Topic:
Just because he's hot
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Do men care if a woman only likes you for your looks? can men tell if she's settling for him and all he's about just because he's hot and great in the sack? Always dangerous to generalize but personally I would rather her like me for my looks than for many other reasons. Usually I can tell after a few deep conversations - or lack of them if she is settling. That is a sign to me to stop the relationship. True true, i forgot not to generalize again. My bad Meant to ask men their opinion thanks for the kind reminder 
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Topic:
Just because he's hot
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Do men care if a woman only likes you for your looks? can men tell if she's settling for him and all he's about just because he's hot and great in the sack? Settling for someone good looking and good in bed? Doesn't sound like settling to me. I mean really, what else can a man do for you that you can't do for yourself already? Lmao dude, you're such a troll! Hahaha! I'm not letting you make this about what a woman can do for herself lol this post is about if men need a woman to care about what they do for work or do for fun, etc. If it bothers him that the only reason she likes him is cause hes good looking and a master in bed. Also, i blew the original post generalizing again. Didnt mean to. Meant to ask each male poster their opinion. |
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Topic:
Just because he's hot
Edited by
mountainwatergirl
on
Sat 02/16/13 10:05 PM
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Do men care if a woman only likes you for your looks? can men tell if she's settling for him and all he's about just because he's hot and great in the sack? 
Let's find out. 
Are you ready to settle? BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! That was great thx Oh my gawd I rolled about this for at LEAST an hour! SO good and I love it. |
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Topic:
Just because he's hot
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Do men care if a woman only likes you for your looks?
can men tell if she's settling for him and all he's about just because he's hot and great in the sack? |
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Edited by
mountainwatergirl
on
Sat 02/16/13 11:58 AM
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I'd have to say if a woman is ho-humming on metting you... shes not who she says she is... shes really married or involved with someone already and just fishing for attention...or just not that into you. Take your pick.
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Edited by
mountainwatergirl
on
Sat 02/16/13 11:51 AM
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as I see it, there are a load of women on here hiding behind computers that aren't just going to agree to a meeting straight away or even reply to me. That's frustrating. Ocasionally you come across someone that does reply and it's possible to build up a friendship by emailing. You somehow have to talk them into a meeting but what can happen is that you just keep getting this "I'm not sure" jazz from them, even though they might be saying that they like you and it says on their profile that they are on here for dating. There is the worry that when you meet and if there is no spark the friendship and all of the flirting will be over. It is only romantic if you feel that it might be going somewhere but you don't really know where it's going and you can't without a meeting. Speaking of women's profiles and the initial impression we make on men through them... this is what mine says... First, my tagline says, "How do you get what you want? You figure it out..." Then it says, "Looking for man for relationship" And I go even further by saying... "I write poetry and short stories, and enjoy interacting with others who have the same interests. I also and ultimately desire a seriously committed relationship, after there has been ample time for friendship. And should the "the one" I'm destined to welcome into my life and heart cross my path, I will happily rearrange my schedule to accommodate his, as I know he will do the same for me. Until then, you'll find me on various poetry boards posting with my friends. " Now... I believe that I made my intentions clear... 1st) if a man wants my attention he has to figure out how to get it. 2nd) I state that I'm looking for a man for "Relationship" 3rd) I state that I'm on the boards posting... which should tell any man who's interested in my profile that he can get to know more about me by going to the boards and doing his research.. that way, if he already knows things about me, my character, my opinions, etc., his first email contact will have depth to it... he won't have to say the same thing they all say because they didn't care to dig a little deeper... your pretty... you have pretty hair... really? and how am I expected to respond to this with anything other than, thank you? I also make it clear that I'm looking for a seriously committed relationship that will require a friendship first, because I prefer to know the what's, why's, becauses, of the who I'm getting to know... that I might ultimately decide to share my life with... and to me, I don't care how long it takes for me and him to get to know each other, because I'm not in a hurry to jump into a life changing relationship, and I would hope he wouldn't be either. These kinds of connections take time to find, to grow, and to nurture, and the only thing we would really need to meet for is the physical connection, to see if we click that way too. But, I don't place a lot of importance on the sexual chemistry as I do on all the other attributes that are more important in the type of long term relationship that I want... So, here I am... doing my thing... and waiting for my fate to tell me It's time to shut down online activity because "the one" for me has arrived and our lives will be focused on each other at that point... until then, I'll still be writing poetry and short stories, and posting on the boards with my friends... And I'm not hiding behind my computer trying to frustrate the men who contact me... just like none of the other women on dating sites are either... we have the right to be selective about what kind of men we will give our time too... just like men have the right to skip over women who don't want to get the physical chemistry question out of the way first... IMH and yet outspoken O...
Right. The first thing to say about that is that most people that go on dating sites do not post on forums. Yeah, you can Google my user name too if you want to research me and you can stalk me on forums but most people are simply not going to do that and you can't expect them to. It's not just about finding out about whether there's "physical chemistry". You can tell from a profile if you fancy someone or not. You want to find out who they really are and you do need a meeting for that. Yes, you can learn a lot about them from chatting online but you don't really know how much of it is true and you don't know a lot of things that they might not be telling you. You might get on fine on the internet but you don't really know how a date with them is going to go and you certainly don't know how a relationship with them is going to play out. It's like reading the blurb on the back of a book. If you want the real story you need to actually buy the product. You wont know what is true in person either I disagree. Someone meets and starts dating me they can find out that what I told them is true. I'm not married and I have no children. I live alone. Yeah, I could lie about that sort of stuff on a date but presumably if I start seeing someone they're going to "come back to my place" at some point. There's no woman here; no wife. Then they're going to meet my family. Ask my mother if I'm married if you don't believe me. Talk to her about me. . You will find out that I'm what I claim to be and probably some other stuff. Anyone getting into a relationship with me is going to find out pretty quickly what sort of person I really am. Spy on me if you like. Hire a team of private detectives. I don't care. You won't find any deep dark secret. You said pretty much the same thing about yourself in one of your posts. Someone said that anyone going into a relationship looking for trouble is going to find it and you said that they won't find any trouble in your life. So, someone says that to me and I'm prepared to trust them enough to give it a go. If they betray that trust it's over but if they don't the relationship develops and so does the trust. Of course it's possible that someone might betray your trust somewhere down the line. That's the chance you take when you enter into a relationship. Many relationships and marriages succeed though with no betrayals. My parents have been married for over forty five years and yes, they have had arguments and problems like all couples do but neither of them has cheated. My father hasn't become an alcoholic. He's the same guy now that my mother married. They are going to spend the rest of their lives together. I'm certain of that. They made a commitment to take each other for better and worse. My sister is married now too and she is happy. Her husband is a good guy. He doesn't have any deep dark secrets and he's not a liar. Meeting someone online is just the first stage in a process. There are success stories, even if there are a lot of players out there. If you aren't prepared to trust anyone then you are going to be single for the rest of your life. That's your choice. Personally, I'm prepared to at least give it a go with someone and that's why I put myself out on the dating scene again last year. I met someone and I gave it a go. It didn't work and I was hurt but I licked my wounds and I would be ready to try again with somebody else. I forgave that woman for what she did. I want to move on with my life. I'm not going to spend the rest of it refusing to trust women because a few of them have hurt me. What they did wasn't anybody else's fault and I'm not going to take it out on the entire female race. I don't need revenge and I'm not going to become a cynic that goes about saying that all women are this or that and only good for sex. It really doesnt matter what a person says. What can you prove by inviting someone to your place to see youre not lying? Anyone can make preperations to have company over. Doesnt tell you what they are like all the time. Ive known a guy i met here that said he liked the outdoors but when it came to dating him, he didnt like to do squat. He was a gamer and didnt care to do much of anything else at all. It took me months of my life and time to discover the impostor's cover up. You are one man... but there are tons of men out there that paint some bs picture of themselves online. |
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Topic:
Valentines blunder
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It has been a few years since I have been fortunate enough to spend a Valentines day with someone. Last I remember, a few friends of mine were all stumped on what to do. Problem was that two of the females (the one I was dating at the time was one) was one of the types who demanded at minimal a dozen roses, a big box of chocolate, expensive dinner, wine and dine, the whole nine yards, BUT it had to be original, she wanted me to come up with something creative. I looked at her silly like "are you serious, you want me to be cliche and original at the same time?" With a little consideration and apologizing to my neighbors in advance. We decided to transform my apartment living room into a 5 star resteraunt. We all got together and put our combined cooking skills (it wasn't much, but we did spend a few weeks coming up with the full 5 course meal) After the dinner, since we are all musicians, we did a small concert for the ladies, each of us sitting out a song or two one at a time so we could dance with our respective girl. I honestly thought it was genius and original beyond any expectation... The big problem was after the night was over, she said I was cheap and took the easy way out, two of us guys lost a relationship the day after for trying something like that because it was "the cheap route" and we need to try harder. Since then, I refuse to try to do something special for valentines day for anyone who gives me a list of expectations of what I need to do. The sheer fact that I tried my hardest with my friends, rented tuxedos and all should have been more than enough IMHO. I agree with you. To me, you went all out on creativity like she asked. I would have been proud of you and happy as a clam |
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