lol...I wanted to, but I was polite. I can't help what happened and I had just as much control over it than he did. But, I said that was fine by me- who needs the added stress anyway..lol

I've had mostly bad..two men wanted to get married right then and there and I was like whoaaaa, one man was nice as could be but definately not my type at all, but the last one...really made me feel like the bottom of a shoe by even thinking about dating. If they could only walk in my shoes for one day........

Yes, fishing, concerts, or anything..I just won't go because it's couples..fishing I enjoyed because I had him beside me but I haven't done any of that now in 5 yrs....I'm very self conscience about myself and it takes me a little bit to warm up to anyone I don't know. Anniverssary parties I can't do either, it's tough to watch people happy..not in a resentful way- but in my own sad way... I've been out on a few dates- the last one I went with though told me that I even shouldn't be thinking about dating and that it was wrong of me to involve another man in my situation...that just almost floored me. I just hope you ladies have better experiences than what I have had, as far as meeting any new guys.

Ahh, bless your heart Betty..at least you got the nerve up to try it at least so that's alot. I can drive up in the parking lot and park, but my hand refuses to open that door..lol

Third wheel- that's the feeling I'm trying to describe-thank you. Yea, like tonight I have been craving for a steak but I will not go in there and sit by myself and eat. I just feel like everyone stares at you the whole time, and so I choose to just fix me something light here at home enstead..but oh that steak sure sounds good.lol

My heart goes out to you, you've been through alot. Yes, it's never too late that's true. I do what I can, just like everyone does..with time it eases the pain some. I think it helps knowing we're all here for each other, and at least here to listen to each other. I do have you all in my prayers and hope we all just keep hanging in there!

Oh..that is awesome cuppy. I like that!! I didn't get much of a choice when my husband died- my Mother-in-law kind of decided that. I hold a little bit of resentment for not allowing me to handle my own husband's last day, but then again..I knew it was already decided where we would be buried, and all that..but it's different...I wasn't thinking too clearly from the moment I found out because I did forget one of his last requests- his last ride on the firetruck he rode- and I will regret that one from now on. But I was in a state of shock and disbelief. I think your idea was great and your words are so awesome!!

((( peachie )))..I know... , but we're here, and regardless what anyone else tells me..I know he's still here with me. Maybe not the way I would like for him to be, but he's here..and that does help some.

((( cuppy )))...so sorry that you had to go through this also. I know the feeling well..my husband and I were one, we were the match not many ever find..it's devastating when someone takes that away.

I don't know about anyone else but ever since my husband passed- it just feels like I don't belong anywhere. I'm existing day to day, minute by minute..but I always feel I'm in the way or I'm a bother to everyone, or when I go somewhere I'm feel like the lost little lamb. It's hard to describe.

Hi Captain

Hi Betty Hope your here to stay with no more problems. Thanks everyone for being kind.

lol...hey, I'm seriously thinking about doing that for real. It wouldn't be as hard as another full time job or as many hours. But I can't do a 2nd job until I move from here because it would go against my rent. But I always work 2 jobs when I need something, or would like to buy something. I haven't been able to the past 5 yrs., because my mind or my body wouldn't have been able to handle the stress..but I'm stronger now..so gotta get back to doing what I want.

morning Amber , Sadie
I'm getting things done around the house this morning, we have "another" inspection Tuesday. Got my living room dusted, all my can tabs put into jugs, sheets in the wash, and fixing to tackle dusting the bedroom...so many things I need to get done.lol Sadie, I'm so sorry about your dreams, I know it can sure make you feel lost.

Morning Connie , nice to meet you cuppy, I'm Carolyn..

Morning oldsage- OKC is about 3 1/2 to 4 hrs away from me. I go through there when I go down to see my Dad. I just sent him an e-mail and told him I wasn't coming when I take vacation because I had to get this other taken care of first. Yes, I have nights like that too. I see happy couples and it makes me sad sometimes. We would sit outside and enjoy the lake every night, sometimes we would fish, other times just sit there and enjoy the quiet. Just something I have to adjust too...

It will work out, I'm sure. But my eyes won't stay open so I better call it a night ...sleep well and hope your back feels 100% better tomorrow..Night Connie

I just have to try and find some place to live pretty quick, they will be raising my rent here almost double what I pay now in December and I don't think I'm willing to pay that much...No biggie..just something I gotta do. I will find something hopefully. You know how it is- when one thing happens about 10 others have to jump on the band wagon to add to it.lol But, don't worry about it, I will fine it's just doing it is the hardest.lol

It's going ok I guess, at least better than the past few days anyway. Fixing to head to bed, I just can't hardly stay awake past 10 pm anymore..lol....surely that isn't old age!!

Hi Connie, hope your having a better day with your back.. Sorry I missed you Betty, have a great evening.