I will add that I have zero problem with a mate dealing with an Ex to meet the needs of mutual children.

But I am no idiot so it is when the dealing goes beyond the needs of the kids that I don't play.

And I have no problem with a mate having opposite sex friends any more than he can have Problems with mine.

But I don't do mate things with friends and never have.

Since I conotate Ex with somthing significantly more than friends and it went down the tubes I don't see the reason to pretend your friends.

Generally it has been the traditional men pay for the invitations they make and the women pay for the invitations she makes. I have yet to have a gentleman take advantage of it and I am independent enough to not ever done so myself.

Because they chose to be selfish.

Most of my life I would have probably opted to be the one who loved . Because that kind of sacrifice and duty was ground into me as just what women do.

Then I got a taste of what it was like to be loved and while I could not do the one way thing I know I could not go back to only being the one who loves. It grinds you down and I just don't have that kind of strength at this stage of my life.

(Doesn't mean if I found myself in a onesided relationship that I wouldn't me strong enough to take my rbber duckie and aai away. )

I generally could give a flip about the age of two consenting adults being together as long as they leave me out of it.

The fly in that deal is I can not think of a single instance where these couples do NOT spill their drama over into everyone else's lives who surround them.

And I am soooooooooh tired of having these couples or people who want to be that kind of couple just have to bawl like a calf in a rainstorm if you say you do not want to hear it.

I think from a third to half of the people I have blocked are people who just will not accept a "No thanks." Even after repeated "No thanks".
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I think race will be an issue as long as we all don't appear to be identical clones.

People seem genetically predisposed to compete. As long as one race has the slightest perceived "higher" standing than another then the cry of raceism will ring out.

Case on point.

I am the parent of a mixed race child with disabilities. On several instances in our quest to get our child equal, appropriate, least restrictive assistance for his education as is required by law for all children we ran into both straight up racism and at times what is often called reversed discrimination. I spent endless hours documenting the problem, enlisting other experts and parents that had reported similar experiences together and personally funded much of the event that was to be a summit on the issue.

When it came time for the event to start I was heckled consistently through every presentation by the very families that attended because my racial mix is on the end of the spectrum that in certain settings I pass as a so called non-minority person. Because I am not a card carrying BIA Native and half white and my step child's complexion is considered "bright" a very racist term for Caucasian/Black/and Native children that are excluded from all three groups because they have very light skin but carry other distinctive minority features. And many people with disabilities ar e not "owned" by many minorities because it is considered yet another subset.

Something anyone who plans to date, marry, and most probably have to cope with if they procreate. So it is a lot to consider.
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I put up a sign for the Ex;

If you want to play with my toys be prepared to take the broken pieces home with you and don't let the door hit either of you in the behind. Be assured that whatever you think he has won't be worth having when I am done.

I like the tempo of this; you get the feeling of choking back rage just enough to get your point across.

True that many don't want women to express rage unless it fits their twisted view of what is entertaining.

This particular scenario really puts sand in my craw.

Sometimes it is however someone giving up the use of a car in hopes it will help a poor mother at least look for shelter. Sadly families may not have or fear what created homelessness more than they can manage to actually help. Many parents; especially single grandmothers are only inches from being on the street themselves and have landlords that will turn them to the street if they do try to help.

Makes me think of the tunsumi of pain that seems follow years after the wake of abusive relationships. I hope you donate some of your writings to an aftercare program. Many can't put their experiences into words. I yjinl this would help them heal.

Makes me think of the tunsumi of pain that seems follow years after the wake of abusive relationships. I hope you donate some of your writings to an aftercare program. Many can't put their experiences into words. I yjinl this would help them heal.

Depend who,when,where, and why.

If you pick an interracial relationship just because it is the flavor of the month, you are doing it as a big "F...u" to someone not in the relationship, or you did do it where you pretty much know it is going to be a constant uphill battle culturally then it won't matter if you get lucky and pick the right who. The relationship will be doomed.

Branches that are doomed to break out from under them because relationships that grow up on the sly are poisoned from the start like moldy wood it won't burn or ever keep you warm..

I am with this concept. Nothing wrong with acknowledging you had the ability to love and enjoy it. The secret is applying that skill in future relationships that are more deserveing or at least current.

Living in the past makes you miss the gift that living in the present is and meanS you are ignoring your ability to have joy in your future.

Yup jumping out of the skillet right into the fire is a rookie relationship move that will only add way more drama to your life not less.

When I read these young folks anguished posts I wish I had the power to reach through the screen and pull you through to my old grandma arms and hug the tears out of you.

The bad news is having a broken heart is not easy bit the good news is it doesn't change with the generations and many have the long view that "this too shall pass My dear heart this too shall pass".

I want you take that phrase an write it on the top of a poster board. Then I want you get out pictures of things and places and people that represent good things you have, seen, done in your young life in the middle like a flower.
Then along the edges I want you to add pictures of the hopes and dreams you wish and hope for. Your dreams, your goals, who you want to be. DREAM Big! Have fun with it.

Now there should be a lot of space between the beautiful bloom you are today and those tomorrows.

In the next year I want you to start doing at least three babysteps towards any of those dreams. Add a skill. Put some change in your savings. Take care of your health. Learn the vocabulary. You get the idea. Focus on Forward. Build the road map between where you are at and where you want to go. Enlist friends and even strangers but get excited about where you are going. And stop looking back.

Sure there have been some dead ends and turn a rounds; guarantee there will be more; but you just have to keep going in the direction YOU want to go and nothing can stop you. You can build your own bridges and put together your own ladders to get over the hurdles to your dreams.

Part of that starts by taking the stones out of your shoes that are making you hurt. That probably means blocking some phone numbers, cleaning out the trash links on your computer sites, and ignoring the trolls of life that you don't even need to waste your breath on.

If you have some real life trolls (sounds like you might if your so called friends are whispering to you about an Ex) then clean out their access to you. You are growing up and some of those old "training tool " relationships you just have to move on from. They have;maybe to greater or LESSER things for them but they have and YOU CAN TOO .

You are the Captain of your own ship. Put yourself at the helm and full steam ahead!
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Clearly shows no clue about what being a warrior is even about.

You don't think that has anything to do with your attitude, your uninviting suggestive text? Could it be dirty laundry and little else on your flat, or no evidence of legit employment if you are alone 40 + hrs a week? Just can't imagine why people ate not beating a path to your door.

If you want to have success on this site you have to have some ability to communicate with others.

If you are as boring as a cardboard box; can not or will not read a news feed, never develop any interests, can not find a single thing you enjoy doing on a date or to interact with other people, rarely go out of the house or to work rut, never learn to dance, play a sport, sing, do anything for others or your community you are going to have a hard time selling yourself as interesting

Last but certainly not least is if you have the attitude that everything is bogus, you don't have a shot here, everyone here is not like you or up to your standards you can bet that is exactly what you will find. Because the real people will run the other way.

It would be helpful if you could just delete people from your match list that you have no interest in or .

And I think if you have not been on site to post in a forum or update your profile in at least two years from birthday on your profile it should be dropped from the system .