Actionlynx, you said:
"My experience is that the vast majority of women expect the man to pay for everything on the first date."

I don't know what type/ age women you are going after that are this way, but.....then again, maybe that's why i never have had any female friends...most are real b***hes.
No disrespect to the good women here..what I mean are the type of women who, when the next day at work they ask me where the date took me, and I tell them Picadiily Cafeteria...they tell me "well, you need to dump his cheap ***..."

*I* happened to have picked the cafeteria...and, no I don't need to "dump his cheap ***"...I *need* to stop letting you opinionate on my life...

I have had guys get an attitude when I say i will pay for my part (dinner, movies, whatever)on our first meet..
Like it is some insult to their manhood or something..(or most likely, they can't demand "services for money spent" later)

I do it because *I* won't feel bad if the date/ meet goes bad...it's just a personal thing for me.

And about, oh...95% of the men in this day and age are pigs, and just looking to get laid...

Me too..
I wonder what kind of women these guys are going after that over and over again they meet the ones that just want money..or won't chip in and pay for part of the outimng..
I'm guessing they are going mainly for looks, instead of looking deeper and making sure she is a decent person, with character, who doesn't operate that way.

(And, judging by what i see on various dating sites..all the guys 50+ with children under age 10...I'm guessing they're going for much younger women...)

If so...how do you send a text to a Northwestel phone?

Like, Verizon is (example) 8005551212@vtext.com

I have looked online, and can't find any info on that.

Thanks!

Well, women shouldn't marry MEN like that either....

Exactly..
I know what I need to be whole, happy, at peace, and $^#@& on those who tell me I am "too picky" because I want "a mate to enjoy or believe in, things that I knew I liked"...
If we don't like and enjoy a lot of similar things...we will spend less time together/ have less in common, and, for ME..this is more inportant the older I get..



Right.
I am certainly not where I want to be, in many ways..but, like your lines said:
"We can easily end up in a place where there is no option to go where we want, we can only go where the maze is still open."



If they don't happen to be on the same site at the same time, or at the event you are at at the same time, or wherever...doesn't matter how right you two are for each other...it doesn't happen



Exactly.
Just because I may see a guy that looks interesting, he may not think *I* am cute, he may not like my looks at all...and may discount me without even talking to me..
*HE* has to be interested in me..not just *me* in *him*...it does take two..



We all grow, and change, and (one hopes) become more sure of ourselves, out worth, what we need and want and can and can't live with...and the mere fact we ARE more selective does narrow down the pool...




It just is what it is...and the best we can do is try and work wothin the limitations..

Good luck with that....

Out of the, say...1000 non-conversations I have had on various dating sites over the past few years...if I expected something more than "hey"...~hey~..."how u"...~good, and how are you~..."good"...., tried to get them to,you know, actually converse?
I was disappointed....that's apparently all they were capable of..

I never have been any good at that goofy small talk....I like to chat about real things...their interests and hobbies...their life....favorite places to see or eat or whatever locally...any number of endless subjects..

If that's your (someone's) thing...fine...
Just don't push/ pressure someone who *isn't* into it to do it...or shame them because they won't..telling them they need to "free their mind" and all that nonsense...

Also?
If that is your thing...make sure whoever you get involved with knows it upfront...not months after they get with you then you spring it on them....that's dishonest.

Yep..this ^

What may one person feel special/ valued may not make another person feel that way....

The fact that someone takes the time to learn wehat makes *you* feel special and valued...that speaks volumes...

People have suggested "Meetup" to me..

Great...except there are no groups that have anything of interest to me within 75 miles...
"Start your own then"...
Pfft...some of us are NOT organizers...I am good at helping/ facilitating existing things..but not intial organizing..

We all have strengths in different areas...the thing is to know where they lie, and where they don't...

Well, the question remains then..which ARE actual dating sites?
All the ones I listed promote their site *as* a dating site, so one would reasonably think that is what they are....not a "social" site for idle chit chat to pass the time...

Oh, so i guess POF, Match, eHarmony, OurTime, Zoosk....those aren't "dating sites geared for dating"?

Ok, sorry...my bad..what *was* I thinking...

I am curious...
If you had been in an accident that caused you not to be able to get it up (spinal nerve damage), or perform sex in any form, or whatever..would YOU be undestanding and OK with your wife going out and looking for it elsewhere?

The funny thing is..I don't hear anyone complaining about the people in Chinatown in San Francisco need to learn to "speak English"..or the Hasidic Jews, or any other group that has their little enclave ("Little Italy, or any of the other area in NY wehere you can go and not hear English, abnd the signs are in whatever ethnicioty that aprticuar area is)..
A *lot* of the older people never learned English, and yet were quite productive, and brough intetreting things culturally to this country..

I'm reminded of those whote people that took Native children away from their hancestral homes, cut their hair, made them wear white people clothes, follow white people's customs, and beat them for speaking their own language instead of English...all under the guise of "helping" them..

EVERY other first world country (Germnany, Switzerland, Sweden, to name a few that I know people from), the people speak 2 languages...whatever the main language is, and English.
American is the only one where the majotrity of the population doesn't.

I have come to the conclusion that most on here and other dating sites (DATING sites, listed as such...not general social sites) are apparently only on there because they are bored, looking to kill time, or just like to **** with people..

I don't want to be your chat buddy...don't need more "friends" (got those, thanks..they spend the weekends and holidays with their spouse/ partner, as they should, but that doesn't do ME any good).

Fluttering eyelashes???
How old are these girls...12??

Hell, I never fluttered my eylashes, or did that playing with my hair thing...I have always hated artifice/ contrived stuff..

I would say when she *makes time* for you...isn't too busy/ has so much else going on she can't find time to be with or talk to you..(someone who *makes* the effort to be with you)

Maybe writes you goofy notes (I used to write goofy notes to my late husband when we went out to eat sometimes, on napkins when he got up to go to the bathroom..he'd find it on his chair when he gpot back...

Asks about your day.....

As far as knowing if it is sincere, or putting on an act....I can't help you there..
I have good spidey-sense, and can *usually* tell when someone is being fake...

Hmmmm...so, if I think, feel, and believe I can jump off a roof while flapping my arms that I will fly...that'll relly happpen...???

Cool....

Oh, and let me tell my blind friend that all he needs to do is think feel, and believe he can see/ has normal sight and he will.....gosh, he'll be SO glad to know that....

THIS ^