I'm the police. I'm always being good. It's you little punks i have to worry about.

Now get in the kitchen and get me some pineapple!

ZACK! Are you behaving??

I was a cheerleader, prom queen...and a virgin. I've changed.

I had a brain tumor a few years ago. The first couple days after i found out, i just plain old refused to believe it. The next few days are probably going to be pretty traumatic as the realization sets in. People are going to be throwing advice at you right and left - everyone thinks they know what it's like. It took me a long time to figure out what i thought about it, as opposed to what everyone else thought. It's scary, it's awful, but it is possible to come out the other side. I'm proof of that! If there's anything i can do to help, just holler and i'm all yours.

I thought of myself as a survivor from the moment i was diagnosed - every day i woke up was one more day i survived. Try to stay positive - that really helped me out a lot. I made a lot of really bad jokes about my situation - it made me feel better. I even named my tumor - his name was Thomas (don't ask where i came up with that - he just seemed like a Thomas to me). One day at a time - you might feel lousy today, but who knows what tomorrow holds.

I know - the whole city is going to hell. I am going to work Monday no matter what happens. If Chief doesn't like it, i will cough at him and make him sick. That'll teach him to mess with me!

Dude, i'm sorry - i am way too sick to be getting all Dr Phil on you. I read it and i think it's bull****. I just can't formulate a better response than that right now.

Is everyone behaving in here?

I'd dance naked anywhere with tony...

I think the better question is: what's up with ex-boyfriends calling us after we are already dating somebody else, trying to talk about crap that happened a million years ago and doesn't matter anymore anyway?

No way! Bucky doesn't do THAT! He might be a badger but he has his morals. Sooners are even more ridiculous than Buckeyes. What is a Sooner, anyway? If it's not some sort of animal, it shouldn't be a mascot.

Umm....did you just say "angiosperms" to me? Don't do that. That's weird.

Don't talk smack about Bucky. That badger is a fantastic kisser and more of a man than you will ever be!

Don't grumble at me, boy!

Any team named after a nut can't be that great.

They should be the Ohio State Almonds. At least then everyone would know they are nuts.

Pro, for sure.

Ohio State is lame.

Pssh! Don't i know it. It's all good tho. I'm used to it...

Hey! People wearing KFC buckets on their heads cannot call other people freaks!

Haha.
Big Ben this here's the Rubber Duck and i'm about to put the hammer down...

I have green eyes. I remember reading in my Charlie Brown Encyclopedia when i was younger that eyes are supposed to be blue or brown - anything else is considered a birth defect.

Captain Morgan

JC looks like a beer delivery guy

Ew! That sounds awful!