Why not as long as he passes a mental fitness test. It's unfortunate that protecting one's flock means one may need to use an arsenal in order to do so.

Congrats on overcoming such adversity!! Welcome baaaaaack!!

Welcome to the area! Best wishes and hope you find some nice friends!

The only time I pitched the lingerie was when the elastic got old, I didn't fit anymore or the ones that reminded me of my sleazy ex-husband. I knew men who kept his kink-wear from relationship to relationship. Why wouldn't we keep ours?

Even the pandering in prurient dallies got old.

Relationships, whether with friends or lovers, is all about giving permission, with parameters, to be used.

Thanks and hello back at ya!!

Git yer own darned beer!

I wonder how many states still have a law against fornication on their books.
And, according to most religions, adultery IS illegal. After all, God's laws supercede any old American law, or any country's laws. Countries make laws for a false sense of security....

That is so silly!

Welcome aboard, you sexy faceless crudely-named NSA hunting beast!!

Yes, I have been told that I can come across as intimidating.

FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADE!!!!!!

You pretty much have that right en pointe! And he would say, "If you'd just behave...", or, "If you did what I told you...", or "If you'd watch what you say....". It was always MY FAULT. And you are so correct about the money. He spent and used up credit limits like mad, and although I worked, I was also pregnant and not making nearly as much as he was. It really is a trap. And DarkOwl is right. It started on the honeymoon. A beautiful place, and as we are driving, he asks if we can pick up some porn to watch while we make love. How romantic. It felt like a steam train whooshed through my ears and my heart pounded out of my chest, and I thought, "What did I just get myself into?". And he was such a pathological liar, so all his lies unraveled over a short period of time after we married. Like his wanting to join swinger clubs and dress me up like a whore to "show off" to other men. Sick puppy, total patho!!
I spent a lot of time & money while working and pregnant having to go to counselors, women's shelters, etc., plus two times during my pregnancy at the ER because of him.
And, now he's married to wife #4 and I can only pray he's kept a lid on it for her sake. The law sure didn't do a thing about him. Unless they see the act, the major injuries, or you are dead, they walk away.

Welcome and best wishes! Need to add more to your profile there, huh? Have fun. Lots of nice folks in the forums.

I wouldn't know if that was odd, but I guess it is if you are saying it is. It's been a crazy winter/spring. The Dallas area got 6 inches of snow last month, and the SAME DAY it all melted away with few remnants. Very strange year here as it was the 3rd time we got REAL SNOW!! lol

My mother is with God. I wonder if they'll do a conference call???

In my situation, it was a sneak attack. He was great while we dated, never saw it coming. Once we married, he changed almost over night. And then I got pregnant. Being a person not used to dealing with an abuser, and thinking "til death do us part", I assumed it was something that could get fixed with counseling & better communication. And it was scary, being pregnant, making a commitment to God that had to get broken, knowing he was a vindictive piece of crap and causing so much grief, having to tell my friends and family that I obviously got duped, etc.
So, it's not always about self-esteem problems or being used to being abused, folks.