I'm sure there are plenty of treasures to be found in the depths of a Mingler's message bin...

I don't doubt you have a rough time though. You poor sausage, you.

That's you, Tawt. You may talk openly about what you do and don't want. You may feel that people are able to talk to you in that way also, but there are many men (and some women I'm sure, though I don't swing that way) who don't conduct themselves that way and don't listen when people attempt to clarify a situation or intentions.

And yes, I know the difference between flirting and expectations but thank you for your concern.

There are times where I've been involved in conversation with people (whether here or on other sites) where men have attempted to back me into a corner with regards to meeting up quite early on via manipulative tactics. I believe meeting up should be done when I person feels comfortable with it, not because the other decides it's now or never. If I'm shoved into that situation - I pick "never".

Obviously being around single guys makes sense if you want to meet a partner, but they tend to act differently when they're unattached. Which is incredibly frustrating as it's almost this desperate clamouring to get a person's attention rather than just taking the time to get to know each other.

I'm not going to go offering myself to every man I meet. If not sh*gging about makes me unfriendly, then so be it. I'll have to remember to add that to my profile next time I edit, eh? "Is 'unfriendly' (aka: will not have sex with you just because you want it)".

Having the restrictions about people messaging for "intimate encounters" being turned off is probably what he's referring to :P

So, you prefer people who don't have standards?

I consider it my prerogative to conduct myself in whatever manner I choose. If I don't feel someone is a match for me, why should I be bullied into maintaining a conversation or meeting up? Being friendly doesn't mean being a push over.

But yes, they're a "dead loss" to you if it isn't working out the way you want it to.

In terms of the OP, you're not the only one to experience it at all. The majority of dating site members seem to be incapable of forming sentences, never mind conversing. The ones who can can usually be found in the forums.

Many of those who can construct sentences fail to take note of points from the profile (or don't at all). As others have said, when questioned on their opening message, so many show themselves to be fakers or copy-and-pasters.

And then it's a case of working out who you feel is a match for you and who isn't. I don't like messaging people back if I don't think, for whatever reason, we'd be a good fit. I have actually had guys send me horrible messages for the fact I don't reply to their first message. But why waste a person's time?

There have been occasions where I've drifted away from conversations myself. Sometimes it's a case of the conversation drying up (as you say, you don't feel you can continue a conversation with them), other times it's little comments that don't make me feel comfortable continuing. A lot of the time I'll mention what does concern me and if I still don't feel comfortable, or feel I'd be wasting their time, I'll back off.

So yes, it's a long, long road if you really want to meet someone. But I think it can be difficult however you choose to go in search of new companions.

You're stronger than some pesky germ - you'll kick the little invaders out soon enough, don't you worry. Snot is your friend!

No truer words could be spoken! I know I'm just as bad as the next person for being cautious and guarded, but I do make the effort to let people in (even if it's at my own pace).

I've noticed many guys try that. It then makes it difficult to work out who actually is a friend, or who gets bored of your company when you're not "putting out" (most of them). Then guys that follow wonder why you're less inclined to talk openly, to share details of your life and your experiences, when you can't even tell anymore if they're sincere or just sticking around until you get stupid.

It's the job environment, Pacific. It's a horrible place to work. The job itself should be so easy but they always seem to understaff and everyone's always in such a horrible mood and they're always shouting at each other. It's a bar/restaurant job, so there's always issues with stock levels, problems with orders etc, which then means customers getting mad at us that then means the chefs get mad at us for trying to resolve the problems...

There are occasionally issues outside of work but I don't tend to take them into work, just as I don't tend to take work home with me. But when your energy levels are down, you're not getting breaks in your shift and they're essentially working you to the bone, you can't help but get stressed, however much I try to take control of it. It annoys me I get stressed as it's a shitty job, certainly not a career, and it's completely ridiculous things that build up until we're all wound up.

I've been applying for other jobs though, but heard nothing back yet and don't really expect to until the new year is up and running again. Trying to stick it out as can't afford to be without a job, but I just hate it so much.

@realcarebear: thank you! I hope so too. <3

I need to stop crying at work...

All's it teaches me is that I should have a more balanced approach - some fruit AND chocolate!

There's a small window of opportunity.

You'll be getting coal next year.

He sure does! Takes all the fun out of it, I'm sure.

Hope you're having a great festive period, mg!

Santa would have found them first.

Blame the turtles! I hope you feel better soon

The joys of working with people! There's bound to be some pheromones flying about and getting people all confused.

Exactly! I did it a few times in my younger days. One guy I was actually with for two years - so I certainly don't regret it. But we were really good friends (and I had a crush on him) before we got together. I don't really know this guy to even think of him as a friend.

I suppose he has my number... I just wasn't so keen on the idea of him being interested though. Not that there's really anything wrong with him, I just don't feel it. That's all. I feel like a ***** putting it that way but there's not much I can do about the way I feel.

I do believe all religions started out as a man with an idea, and they grew from there. Maybe they all started with the best intentions (and I do hope that's the case), it's just unfortunate that that vision hasn't been realised.