Topic: Okay Men here we go again~~
no photo
Thu 12/04/08 03:03 PM
If a man wants to be with you NOTHING can keep him away.

If he doesn't, NOTHING can make him stay.

ShagnaC's photo
Thu 12/04/08 03:04 PM
So true and that is the way I see it as well.
Thanks all for the comments

no photo
Thu 12/04/08 03:08 PM

Maybe he wants to keep you on as a spare if nothing else shows up.. if you get the vibe he's not interested then he's probably not.. I'd forget about him... Id rather have someone that digs me


Definitely gotta have someone that digs you.


bry11calcool's photo
Thu 12/04/08 03:26 PM
When the right chemistry is there, neither of you will be asking anyone else anything. So if you have to ask . . .

If he calls you again ask him plainly if he is calling to ask you out. If not, he is just killing time and keeping you as a fall back.

Good luck.

Bry

no photo
Thu 12/04/08 07:34 PM
aren't women notorious for most wanting the man that pays least attention to them?maybe this guy just got some ****ty advice.

no photo
Thu 12/04/08 09:47 PM
Its just been 1 date right?
A lot of over analysis so far, Imo.
Give it a couple more wks, in no calls or action, then call it quits. Like you said he's kinda busy, and shy.

adj4u's photo
Thu 12/04/08 09:53 PM
just have him set a time and place for the next date

if he hedges and does not do it

that would send a clear message

this phone thing is a bit jr high

you are adults

set the appointment

and keep it

if one will not be set


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>NEXT<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

SamaraNJ's photo
Thu 12/04/08 09:56 PM
why get all wrapped up in him.. if he calls he calls.. if not he doesnt.. go out if he asks.. but are you commited to him already that it matters if he calls or not.. Im sure you're not in love and you're not gonna be heartbroken.. it was one date..

keepthehope's photo
Thu 12/04/08 10:11 PM
Lately it seems that I only meet men who say they are ready for a real relationship, looking to get married, and then when things get serious, they are totally opposite then. They aren't ready to get married like they thought they were. Maybe this guy is like that. When things look like they might get serious, he starts to get cold feet.

How many of you guys have done that?

SamaraNJ's photo
Thu 12/04/08 10:12 PM
yeah but it was one date...
and I think men do that to women because they want to get married but decide they dont want to to THAT woman

petiejoe's photo
Fri 12/05/08 12:02 AM
If you specifically want to go out with him again, just ask. You obviously have a reasonable level of communication with him, so the next time you chat with him ask him to a movie or dinner or whatever. If you're a traditionalist and believe the guy should always ask or whatever, there's always the "let me cook dinner for you" card. I would recommend against setting a firm date at the outset because if he's genuinely busy he'll have to say no.

If you're not too worried about dating him or not, then just let things ride as they come. If he calls, great. If you go out with another guy, great. Feel free to call him every once in a while just to show that you're open to keeping things going in the right direction. It could be that he's just trying to wait the right amount of time so that he doesn't look desperate. Or it could be that he's honestly busy like he says. There's no reason to not take that at face value.

galendgirl's photo
Fri 12/05/08 06:09 AM

Sounds to me like he only calls when has time... I'de drop it



My own recent experience...regular communication...then nothing, nothing, nothing...
gotta let that one go.

Muddysneakers77's photo
Fri 12/05/08 06:13 AM
lotta times Ill act 'not interested' and 'busy' as a suble way to keep the woman interested in me.

Ive learned over the years that no matter what ppl say they want in a partner, the truth is--its all a game of cat n mouse. They want what they cant have and put more effort into aquiring the unatainable--the key is, not to 'blow em off' too much--always keep that 'carrot on a stick' within sniffing range

Winx's photo
Fri 12/05/08 07:00 AM

lotta times Ill act 'not interested' and 'busy' as a suble way to keep the woman interested in me.

Ive learned over the years that no matter what ppl say they want in a partner, the truth is--its all a game of cat n mouse. They want what they cant have and put more effort into aquiring the unatainable--the key is, not to 'blow em off' too much--always keep that 'carrot on a stick' within sniffing range


Isn't that called playing games? What's wrong with just being yourself?

Adrenaline's photo
Fri 12/05/08 07:21 AM
Kinda sounds to me like he is preoccupied. I am wondering if he is juggling a few ladies. When you do that, it gets a little stressful because you have to keep your schedule straight. You don't want to lose any of them, but you also get in over your head sometimes.

Muddysneakers77's photo
Fri 12/05/08 07:32 AM


lotta times Ill act 'not interested' and 'busy' as a suble way to keep the woman interested in me.

Ive learned over the years that no matter what ppl say they want in a partner, the truth is--its all a game of cat n mouse. They want what they cant have and put more effort into aquiring the unatainable--the key is, not to 'blow em off' too much--always keep that 'carrot on a stick' within sniffing range


Isn't that called playing games? What's wrong with just being yourself?


because while 'being yourself' is something we all want...inevitably, we all 'test the waters' and play games in relationships--for what reason I dont know--I never used to be like that, but thru the years..Ive had games played on me--so to keep 'ahead/control' in the relationship--I am the ringmaster

no photo
Fri 12/05/08 07:37 AM
I too have had this similar issue, others say "oh it's just one date", although you spoke on the phone for weeks leading up to this said one date and were under the impression the other person was digging you. After said date, that seemed to go well w/o "relations" taking place (just wanted to point out this for men reading blog), they then decide to call very irregularly and/or don't return calls because they are "busy" even though they were just as "busy" before, but could find the time then. I have no problem moving on, if fact I'm famous for it ha, ha. It's just if you were acutally reciprocating, I won't even say feelings/emotions, communication then you would expect (yes, I know a dangerous word to most men) them to be open about not really being interested in you. I'm not looking to get married anytime soon, but I also don't want to be "chatting" w/ 50 different guys. I just want one to chat w/ who has potential, whatever that is ha, ha. So, instead of helping you w/ your question (sorry), I have adding to the compliant directed at the general male population. Frankly, my best guess is they are not interested and probably have emotional attachment issues anyway...

no photo
Fri 12/05/08 09:50 AM
i love carrots.lol

Whatzyours's photo
Fri 12/05/08 01:48 PM

I have been dealing with a similar issue with a guy for a few (6)weeks. He would call and text and call some more several times a day. Even when I went away on vacation.
Well, we dont get to see eachother as often as I like (less than once a week) And now I find out I think more of the relationship than he does. So, I am moving on....if he cant treat me right, someone else will....and yet he is STILL calling. Botton line, always listen to your inner voice. If something doesnt "feel" right, its probably not.


Me too.... I went out with a nice guy...maybe to nice.....and I have a feeling he's not calling because I didn't sleep with him. Anyone think that's right?blushing Thought not..

no photo
Fri 12/05/08 02:25 PM
Well, I have been dating a woman, since July, I see her about once a month as she lives in a different part of the state so I guess it's becomeing a LDR. And it is moving slow, which is fine with me right now. I certainly wouldn't kick it to the curb as quickly as some folks here would. Some things take time, and feelings do develope over time.