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| Topic: yes men are shallow | |
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I'm shallow, too, and I am a woman. Not looking for Mr. America, but I know what I like when I see it. And I want to see it. And I want to see more than one photo as everyone has a "good" pose. If they are not attractive to me, I do not want to carry it further to see if there is more inside, except for friendship perhaps. If I don't find someone physically attractive, TO ME, he'll never make it as anything more than a friend. I want the whole package, but that includes being attracted to my mate physically. It could be eyes, smile, sexy arms, SOMETHING, for me to want to keep getting to know that man as a mate. And, I think most men think like me.
Of course, it CRACKS ME UP to no end when you see those older pot-bellied men with hair growing out their nostrils and ears expecting a young barbie type, not realizing that they better have a hefty credit limit to spend time with the type. It's like they think they look like Rock Hudson when they see themselves in the mirror. Yet, I give them snaps for having high self-esteem. Wish I had THAT high esteem. But I'm fairly grounded in expectations, and don't usually dig high maintenance men. |
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Edited by
adj4u
on
Sat 10/10/09 03:00 PM
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just because one pic may get more hits than the other does not mean they do not want intelligence
maybe the thought process is the most important but if you have a choice between a cute thought processor and an ugly thought processor of equal thought processing ability the cute thought processor will more than likely win that does not make them shallow (male or female) that just means they can see |
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no Andy
am not that stupid.... the photos were NOT posted only sent after they made contact with me - expressed interest - emails full of crap about how interesting i am and they would love to get to know me... the photos - if you were to take their 'honest' assertions literally - shouldnt have made a damn ounce of difference but they did... 
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I'm shallow, too, and I am a woman. Not looking for Mr. America, but I know what I like when I see it. And I want to see it. And I want to see more than one photo as everyone has a "good" pose. If they are not attractive to me, I do not want to carry it further to see if there is more inside, except for friendship perhaps. If I don't find someone physically attractive, TO ME, he'll never make it as anything more than a friend. I want the whole package, but that includes being attracted to my mate physically. It could be eyes, smile, sexy arms, SOMETHING, for me to want to keep getting to know that man as a mate. And, I think most men think like me. Of course, it CRACKS ME UP to no end when you see those older pot-bellied men with hair growing out their nostrils and ears expecting a young barbie type, not realizing that they better have a hefty credit limit to spend time with the type. It's like they think they look like Rock Hudson when they see themselves in the mirror. Yet, I give them snaps for having high self-esteem. Wish I had THAT high esteem. But I'm fairly grounded in expectations, and don't usually dig high maintenance men. you just proved you arent shallow the shallow comes from the dishonesty not from being honest about it |
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no Andy am not that stupid.... the photos were NOT posted only sent after they made contact with me - expressed interest - emails full of crap about how interesting i am and they would love to get to know me... the photos - if you were to take their 'honest' assertions literally - shouldnt have made a damn ounce of difference but they did... I understand how you feel and in many ways share the frustration, however, this is not just a 'man' thing. I have male friends who experience the same thing. Preferences are preferences and in this 2D format online ... words and images are all we've got 
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Dammit!!!
 I wanted to be SHALLOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!  
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if you are feeling limited to who will date you
give the mutal match feature a try
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Yep every man lies, is shallow, and generally all round sucks. Guess you might have to stay single or sail to the isle of lesbo.
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 Dammit!!! I wanted to be SHALLOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! you go girl! LOL |
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if you are feeling limited to who will date you give the mutal match feature a try I hear the upgraded version is really quite spectacular 
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So, let me get this straight. You did an experiment in which you posted pictures of yourself online, one where you looked so-so, and the picture was in black and white, and one where you looked pretty, and used a color photo. The experiment results revealed that men, who are browsing online, and have nothing to go by but a picture and a blurb of text, found your good-looking picture more appealing than the so-so one? I have one response to this. Well, DUH!  It's not just men that do it women do it as well.. and NOT ALL do it... We have to be attracted to someone or why would we bother.. Looks are what we see first, before someone speaks.. The PIC is what we/they see before they click on the profile and read... I have a question for you.. Is your profile so great that they should be interested no matter the pic? What if they don't care about the pic but didn't like your profile, didn't think they had anything in common with you.. Unfortunately you don't have all the answers and you're not in anyone's brain to REALLY know what they are thinking so your "experiment" really didn't have the correct control group and variables to even qualify for an experiment let alone quantify the results... And yes I am one of the "shallow" one's I MUST be attracted to someone in some way before I get to the brain, sense of humor, compassion, etc. that is the deciding factor of my wanting to pursue something with someone... IMO live and let live, so what if they don't like you without makeup.. If you really cared about being accepted for who you were then you'd never where makeup or want to be percieved as attractive... Some people will like our look and some won't so what.. To each their own... |
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am conducting a 'social experiment' if you will on another site after becoming incredibly suspicious that yes men just look at the pictures and no further.... the profile i have seems to be getting plenty of hits and have had lots of contact...then it came to the photos.... i have a choice of several photos - one taken at the end of a six year old birthday party after a week of working fourteen hour days - it is in black and white and i am wearing absolutely zip makeup - the photo i think is quite ok for an 'a la naturale' look and shouldnt scare anyone away the second photo is of course in colour - and i am wearing makeup - you can tell it is the same person but this is quite an attractive photo... the experiment? i alternate btw sending the black and white photo and the colour one no prizes for guessing which one gets the most responses what amuses me no end though is that all these men absolutely insist that 'looks' are not 'that important'....it is a brain they are looking for - someone with a sense of humour, an intelligent mind, who is caring and compassionate and who has their shite together blah blah blah.... oh and btw - it doesnt matter if they are 'ugly' men or 'good looking' men (if you subscribe to an aesthetic point of view' - they all go for the pretty photo... the next part of the experiment - i will make contact again with those that didnt respond to the plain photo by sending them the pretty one... lets just wait and see if they respond to that...if they do...it proves me correct...you really are a shallow species... It goes both ways. Male or female, shallow is shallow. |
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no Andy am not that stupid.... the photos were NOT posted only sent after they made contact with me - expressed interest - emails full of crap about how interesting i am and they would love to get to know me... the photos - if you were to take their 'honest' assertions literally - shouldnt have made a damn ounce of difference but they did... I understand how you feel and in many ways share the frustration, however, this is not just a 'man' thing. I have male friends who experience the same thing. Preferences are preferences and in this 2D format online ... words and images are all we've got ok - point taken - but i cant speak from the male perspective - only the female...i make a point of responding to everyone that contacts me - irrespective of their photo - as i have put on my profile that i am interested in making friends - and i have - some really really good smart funny terrific guys who are nowhere near the 'good looking category' - but have certainly enriched my life.... |
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but if you have a choice between a cute thought processor and an ugly thought processor of equal thought processing ability the cute thought processor will more than likely win.
Really depends on the maintenance or up keep costs between a cute thought processor and an ugly thought processor....sometime high maintenance costs isn't the way to go... 
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what amuses me no end though is that all these men absolutely insist that 'looks' are not 'that important'....it is a brain they are looking for - someone with a sense of humour, an intelligent mind, who is caring and compassionate and who has their shite together Well, I would rate looks as a factor, but not the most important factor. And I only say this after a number of ultimately horrible relationships wiith attractive airheads. I've admitted to being shallow here, I've campaigned for the RIGHT to be shallow, the right to admit it without being ostracized, I've admitted to being an arrogant narcissistic conceited jerk, I've done all of that BECAUSE I'm so tired of all of the "Looks don't matter, it's what's on the inside that counts" protestations from people who won't even LOOK at anybody who isn't "Model Quality," to use another site's phraseology rather crudely. None of it matters. People will continue to lie about what they're looking for, because they're afraid to come across as shallow and superficial, even though that's exactly what they are. Maybe they just can't face the truth about THEMSELVES....? I don't know. I really don't care. "Law of Opposites" applies here. If someone says "I don't care about looks," it's generally a ruse to convince OTHERS that this is true. But it isn't. Me? I do care about looks. To an extent. But I've never been attracted to the "classic beauty," so my own personal preferences are a little off-center. Regardless, I still like the look I like. It matters. But a 160 IQ can make up for a hell of a lot, too. |
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what amuses me no end though is that all these men absolutely insist that 'looks' are not 'that important'....it is a brain they are looking for - someone with a sense of humour, an intelligent mind, who is caring and compassionate and who has their shite together Well, I would rate looks as a factor, but not the most important factor. And I only say this after a number of ultimately horrible relationships wiith attractive airheads. I've admitted to being shallow here, I've campaigned for the RIGHT to be shallow, the right to admit it without being ostracized, I've admitted to being an arrogant narcissistic conceited jerk, I've done all of that BECAUSE I'm so tired of all of the "Looks don't matter, it's what's on the inside that counts" protestations from people who won't even LOOK at anybody who isn't "Model Quality," to use another site's phraseology rather crudely. None of it matters. People will continue to lie about what they're looking for, because they're afraid to come across as shallow and superficial, even though that's exactly what they are. Maybe they just can't face the truth about THEMSELVES....? I don't know. I really don't care. "Law of Opposites" applies here. If someone says "I don't care about looks," it's generally a ruse to convince OTHERS that this is true. But it isn't. Me? I do care about looks. To an extent. But I've never been attracted to the "classic beauty," so my own personal preferences are a little off-center. Regardless, I still like the look I like. It matters. But a 160 IQ can make up for a hell of a lot, too. LOL - I hear you - I dont care if people announce up front that they have certain expectations about looks that come in their top three 'must haves' - for myself - there must be chemistry for a kiss - but to seduce me and get me into bed - you have to be able to use the art of conversation and thought to really turn me on......what i take umbrage at is people who profess to want more than just a trophy on their arm and then go pointedly about proving that a trophy on their arm is exactly what they want...male or female... |
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Out of curiosity, did their profiles say that looks don't matter? that they don't want trophies? b/c if they didn't then you're mixing those that have said it with those that never said it and once again that's an assumption which wouldn't be accurate based on false information or projected assumptions...
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Yep every man lies, is shallow, and generally all round sucks. Guess you might have to stay single or sail to the isle of lesbo. you deserve a kick in the butt nudge  
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Men have only two emotions; HUNGRY and HORNY.
If you see your man without an erection, make him a sandwich.  |
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Men have only two emotions; HUNGRY and HORNY. If you see your man without an erection, make him a sandwich. damn it....I've been doing it wrong all this time????? After I find a man...I'll stock up on lunch meat
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