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| Topic: Do you act on | |
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what you assume to be truth, or do you wait to find out?
In another thread, someone asked a question that have seen before and alot of negativity came from people who weren't involved, had perhaps similar circumstances and some answers from people who never experienced it. Since it involved emotions, my inclination used to be is that when I think the worse am usually -way- off base. Ie he didn't call because he's a smuck, or thinks is too good for me and when I ask they have a perfectly rational reason (was caught up in a conversation, had a emergency, etc) and I am so glad didn't follow my first impulse to get upset with them. So..what do you do? Are you patient, or do you naturally assume someone is taking advantage of you? I was very surprised to see almost all the answers were extremely hostile...do you base all your present reactions on one or two negative experiences from the past? |
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I give people the benefit of the doubt and I don't jump to any assumptions. I have gotten burned in the past but it hasn't caused me to change my thinking. Just about the person who burned me. It may be naive but I still want to believe that most people do not intentionally set out to hurt others.
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Whats that saying? "Assumptions are the mother of all f$&* ups". I never assume about anything. If I am unsure about something, I will ask. I'm big on truth, and in my opinion, one can't get the truth based solely on an assumption.
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Often, experience is the only guidebook we have, and so it is natural to use that to draw our conclusions. Having said that, I can honestly say that I try very hard not to paint everyone with the same brush in these cases. Everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt, and when it comes right down to it, you just basically have to consider how you'd feel if the situation were reversed and then act accordingly.
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I am usually willing to give people the benefit of the doubt and not jump to conclusions. It kind of depends on the situation and who is involved. I too have been badly hurt in the past but also fully realize that it was an individual that hurt me, not the entire species. You have to take things on a case by case basis, otherwise you may miss out on something spectacular!
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what you assume to be truth, or do you wait to find out? In another thread, someone asked a question that have seen before and alot of negativity came from people who weren't involved, had perhaps similar circumstances and some answers from people who never experienced it. Since it involved emotions, my inclination used to be is that when I think the worse am usually -way- off base. Ie he didn't call because he's a smuck, or thinks is too good for me and when I ask they have a perfectly rational reason (was caught up in a conversation, had a emergency, etc) and I am so glad didn't follow my first impulse to get upset with them. So..what do you do? Are you patient, or do you naturally assume someone is taking advantage of you? I was very surprised to see almost all the answers were extremely hostile...do you base all your present reactions on one or two negative experiences from the past? such a good question,,, I was raised up to look at a balance of information before drawing definite conclusions. I rarely pre judge people because I dont believe I know anyone completely enough to do so. I do juge actions and words though,, |
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Edited by
cattails
on
Tue 06/08/10 01:35 PM
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I heard this before: Assume means you make an a$$ out of me and you.
I normally don't assume anything. I Wait and see. Expectations may be something else but I normally don't have alot of those either. Hope is something I might leans towards more than anything else. Then again high hopes can be disappointing. I try to use common sense and take time to know someone. |
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When in doubt ask...........But........now don't forget what their last reason was for I have even known some that will make up stories if their partner is too clingy.......Just to get some my time away from them...........This is why I don't want anyone that is clingy for myself I'm not. If you can't trust the one your with then ya need to get away from them...........
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When in doubt ask...........But........now don't forget what their last reason was for I have even known some that will make up stories if their partner is too clingy.......Just to get some my time away from them...........This is why I don't want anyone that is clingy for myself I'm not. If you can't trust the one your with then ya need to get away from them........... I agree. Trust is one of the most important things in any relationship. |
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When in doubt ask...........But........now don't forget what their last reason was for I have even known some that will make up stories if their partner is too clingy.......Just to get some my time away from them...........This is why I don't want anyone that is clingy for myself I'm not. If you can't trust the one your with then ya need to get away from them........... I agree. Trust is one of the most important things in any relationship. Trust can also take time to gain. I try to trust someone until I discover reasons not to. Hopefully I will know how much and how long I can. |
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I must have felt there was a reason to get to know them in the first place ,so I would give them the benefit of the doubt and ask. I might be a little suspicious for the next while though.
Shasta 
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Edited by
MiVidaLoca
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Tue 06/08/10 01:55 PM
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oops double post!
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I was very surprised to see almost all the answers were extremely hostile...do you base all your present reactions on one or two negative experiences from the past? Well, no -- I base all of my present reactions on about 94 negative experiences from the past. Not that it makes it any more legitimate, but, hey, math is math.... Seriously -- I have made an effort to see each new person, each new situation, each new relationship, as a brand new, separate and distinct situation. I've always felt that this was the only way to be fair to everyone. Of course, the bad part is that they always end up doing the exact same thing regardless, so it doesn't really matter what I assume....! |
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I fight the urge to go on the past negativity, it is terribly hard sometimes.
I have found that patience is in a person's best interest. Our health improves when we learn patience which includes non assumption |
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Edited by
iam4u
on
Tue 06/08/10 02:48 PM
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what you assume to be truth, or do you wait to find out? In another thread, someone asked a question that have seen before and alot of negativity came from people who weren't involved, had perhaps similar circumstances and some answers from people who never experienced it. Since it involved emotions, my inclination used to be is that when I think the worse am usually -way- off base. Ie he didn't call because he's a smuck, or thinks is too good for me and when I ask they have a perfectly rational reason (was caught up in a conversation, had a emergency, etc) and I am so glad didn't follow my first impulse to get upset with them. So..what do you do? Are you patient, or do you naturally assume someone is taking advantage of you? I was very surprised to see almost all the answers were extremely hostile...do you base all your present reactions on one or two negative experiences from the past? So NOW,,or shall I say,,I came to be this way.. I will listen and IF,,I have any questions,,I ASK THEM, IF,,THAT offends THEM,,then THEY MIGHT BE FAKE PEOPLE? But as I have met SO---------------MANY who have led that life here,,I am NEVER fully believing ANYONE, who I have not met IN-PERSON... And truly,,Questions are ALL WE HAVE,,when talking w/o a real face or a body? So no-one REAL,,,has yet to have ANY issues as to ANY questions I may have asked them...BUT,,,the liars sure HAVE,,,lol,lol No-one should give away their HEART, unless first having MET THAT PERSON!!,,,Thats MY THOUGHTS,,anyway....I wish YOU much luck here... |
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I'm very gulibale (sp), I beleive just about anything people tell me. Until I know better...
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I give them space and hope for the best.
I'm not a negative person, so my first thought is always something positive. |
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Although I have zero tolerance for stupidity, lies and manipulation, I always give people the benefit of the doubt ONCE. If after the first offense they repeat their behavior – I am done.
I don’t have time for games and nonsense.
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I might have my reservations about someone or something but I play the hand out just in case I might be wrong in my thinking.
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In life I know **** happens, so I give the benefit of the doubt. Having said that, I also believe that three strikes...you're out. I also believe that after giving the benefit of the doubt if I ABSOLUTELY find out differently: Fool me once... shame on you, Fool me twice...shame on ME.
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