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| Topic: No, I Don't Want To Date You | |
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I have noticed that more and more people are here for friendship only, whether they be new or old. Personally, I'm here for the same reason. There are times that I would look at someone's profile or even send them a message because: 1. I randomly clicked on their profile and found something in there that piqued my curiosity. 2. I saw them around the Community Forum and found them funny or interesting. 3. I was just THAT bored. But some people would automatically assume that just because I initiated the contact: I want to date them, get their money, or marry them. Has anything like this ever happened to you too, wherein you found someone interesting on a friendship level, but they immediately took it the wrong way? How can you tell people that, "No, I don't find you hot. I'd probably slit my wrists with a rusty butter knife before I'd consider dating you. I actually just want to be friends." Have you ever initiated contact because you genuinely just want to be friends and they never replied back, or if they did, only gave you a perfunctory answer? I'm probably not making any sense, but they're serious questions. I thought the rusty butter knife comparison was very edgy  (pun intended =)
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When I saw this topic in the lobby my first thought was "Now there's a phrase I've heard before!!" I thought you all were talking about me behind my back, right in front of me.  Whew!! That was close.  Well Red, I guess you just need to peruse my profile. I automatically assume they aren't interested and go from there. Oh, you didn't get the memo? Um, yeah, the topic is about you. Kidding! |
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When I saw this topic in the lobby my first thought was "Now there's a phrase I've heard before!!" I thought you all were talking about me behind my back, right in front of me. Whew!! That was close. Well Red, I guess you just need to peruse my profile. I automatically assume they aren't interested and go from there. Oh, you didn't get the memo? Um, yeah, the topic is about you. Kidding! Oh well...  But at least people are talking about me!! 
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Oftentimes, you have to go through a lot of crap to have an opposite-gendered friend, and lots of people lack the perspective that makes those friendships possible and pleasant. A person is likely to have a lot of lovers throughout their lives and but you're REALLY blessed if you have just one extremely good friend who sticks by you. -Kerry O. Words of wisdom that are so true. 
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Not sure if I'm off topic or back on. When I'm in the forums I click on a lot of profiles because of something someone says - it's just curiosity and I do it to both male and females. Should I not do that? Is that rude? Nope, it's not rude, Loy. I do the same myself. 
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hey my reputaion as a perv gets me......NOWHERE!!!
  OR everywhere!!
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Edited by
red_lace
on
Tue 09/14/10 05:32 PM
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I'm the same way, I have absolutely no concept of flirting. People have said to me, "Didn't you notice her flirting with you?" and I'm totally oblivious. I never even know who they're talking about. Even when I was in a relationship with a girl, I used to get weird reactions at certain places with certain people. My (ex) girlfriend giving me a look; cutting short of conversations; pulling me away from certain areas..later I asked surprisingly "What is going on?" And she answered: "Didn't you notice she was flirting with you all along??" I'm like: "No." Then she would start acting all suspicious if I was actually playing with her. She was loosing her trust in me, even though I haven't done a damn thing. Oh, man! Sorry guys, but this is funny!
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Interesting thoughts. As a newb here I can't add much from an experience perspective, but this is a dating site, right? Do a lot of guys just come here looking for friends?
Not intended to provoke, just offering a bit of a "devil's advocate" viewpoint. I do believe the best relationships evolve out of friendships. |
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Interesting thoughts. As a newb here I can't add much from an experience perspective, but this is a dating site, right? Do a lot of guys just come here looking for friends? Not intended to provoke, just offering a bit of a "devil's advocate" viewpoint. I do believe the best relationships evolve out of friendships. Hi, Jay! Welcome to Mingle! Yes, I quite agree that the best relationships evolve out of friendship, given the evolution will be permitted and both parties are seeking the same thing. What I was actually referring to was the passive, non-sexual or the no-chance-in-h*ll-this-friendship-would-turn-into-something-more kinda thing. Yep, this is a dating site and a lot of people are actively seeking out partners, but there are some of us who are just here to be with friends or make new ones. This site has and is continuing on its own level of evolution. I think it's going beyond the normal boundaries of a dating site, which is why there are a lot of regulars here, in my opinion.
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Interesting thoughts. As a newb here I can't add much from an experience perspective, but this is a dating site, right? Do a lot of guys just come here looking for friends? Not intended to provoke, just offering a bit of a "devil's advocate" viewpoint. I do believe the best relationships evolve out of friendships. Hi, Jay! Welcome to Mingle! Yes, I quite agree that the best relationships evolve out of friendship, given the evolution will be permitted and both parties are seeking the same thing. What I was actually referring to was the passive, non-sexual or the no-chance-in-h*ll-this-friendship-would-turn-into-something-more kinda thing. Yep, this is a dating site and a lot of people are actively seeking out partners, but there are some of us who are just here to be with friends or make new ones. This site has and is continuing on its own level of evolution. I think it's going beyond the normal boundaries of a dating site, which is why there are a lot of regulars here, in my opinion. Also, people that have met on Mingle still stay active in the forums even though they are happily coupled!  I started here for dating but, as you said, I've evolved into a forum nut. Unless I am blown away by someone specific, I'd rather hang out with you guys and be friends!!  Those profile "trollers" aren't like us. 
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Red Lace
I mostly have instigated friendship and it stuck. People have instigated friendship with me and it stuck. I really haven't had much problem with attempts at friendship which have gone awry ... but a few. Most started like you and I did and grow slowly over time as we have time to communicate. |
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View my profile at your own risk. For if you enter...you can never leave. Muwhahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! kinda like "The Ring" movie...put the tape in play it...you gonna have goof climbing out of the well and eat your soul!
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Hi, Jay! Welcome to Mingle! Yes, I quite agree that the best relationships evolve out of friendship, given the evolution will be permitted and both parties are seeking the same thing. What I was actually referring to was the passive, non-sexual or the no-chance-in-h*ll-this-friendship-would-turn-into-something-more kinda thing. Yep, this is a dating site and a lot of people are actively seeking out partners, but there are some of us who are just here to be with friends or make new ones. This site has and is continuing on its own level of evolution. I think it's going beyond the normal boundaries of a dating site, which is why there are a lot of regulars here, in my opinion. Ahh, okay that makes more sense then. It sounds like this is more of a community than a lot of those other sites you see on TV which never appealed to me anyway. I like this approach better, think I'll stick around. 
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Hi, Jay! Welcome to Mingle! Yes, I quite agree that the best relationships evolve out of friendship, given the evolution will be permitted and both parties are seeking the same thing. What I was actually referring to was the passive, non-sexual or the no-chance-in-h*ll-this-friendship-would-turn-into-something-more kinda thing. Yep, this is a dating site and a lot of people are actively seeking out partners, but there are some of us who are just here to be with friends or make new ones. This site has and is continuing on its own level of evolution. I think it's going beyond the normal boundaries of a dating site, which is why there are a lot of regulars here, in my opinion. Ahh, okay that makes more sense then. It sounds like this is more of a community than a lot of those other sites you see on TV which never appealed to me anyway. I like this approach better, think I'll stick around. Yayyy!!
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View my profile at your own risk. For if you enter...you can never leave. Muwhahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! kinda like "The Ring" movie...put the tape in play it...you gonna have goof climbing out of the well and eat your soul! Seven Days!!!
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Ahh, okay that makes more sense then. It sounds like this is more of a community than a lot of those other sites you see on TV which never appealed to me anyway. I like this approach better, think I'll stick around. Good choice, Jay! Welcome and join the forums. You can get to know people more with how they post, actually. I also like the way how Mingle is, it's a great community to be in. |
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..Don't bother me, don't call my name..Alejandro!
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i didnt find my fiance on here but i got strength and guidance to leave my abusive ex!this site can be a very supportive enviroment
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i didnt find my fiance on here but i got strength and guidance to leave my abusive ex!this site can be a very supportive enviroment Well that's a great testimonial to this site then. I have never understood how some people dole out abuse in the name of "love". It's sick and twisted, and believe me you're better off getting away from that person. How great that you found a community of people who could support you through what must have been a harrowing experience. |
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i didnt find my fiance on here but i got strength and guidance to leave my abusive ex!this site can be a very supportive enviroment Well that's a great testimonial to this site then. I have never understood how some people dole out abuse in the name of "love". It's sick and twisted, and believe me you're better off getting away from that person. How great that you found a community of people who could support you through what must have been a harrowing experience. I think there's a thread here somewhere that discusses about the successful Mingle relationships. Maybe you can search for it or ask around.
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