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Topic: asking too much/overflooding
Atlantis75 Joined Wed 12/03/08 Posts: 8581	Sun 09/19/10 02:48 PM Edited by Atlantis75 on Sun 09/19/10 02:48 PM
Ever felt like, you make a connection with someone..not much but just talking and chatting, exchanging pictures and just being friendly. You may even talk about possible how you like him or her..but nothing big and the other goes NUTS on you? Getting flooded with messages and mails and whatnot..and you are interested but it's just too much and too quickly and the other one is playing an emotional game on you, like if you don't answer each mails he or she starts making conspiracy theories how you are pushing her away etc?? And eventually THIS what starts driving you away, with you hands up slowly making steps backward to increase the distance, but at the same time you still getting these emotional outbursts from the other and now you start actually feel guilty about the whole thing? Hmm?

IndnPrncs Joined Sun 11/04/07 Posts: 58420	Sun 09/19/10 02:50 PM
I so know what you mean... It can be a real deal breaker...

Dragoness Joined Wed 10/17/07 Posts: 23320	Sun 09/19/10 02:52 PM
Oh man, been there done that. I can't handle too much attachment in my regular daily relationships so that is just too much for me. I have to go and leave that alone.

Gossipmpm Joined Tue 03/03/09 Posts: 19414	Sun 09/19/10 03:03 PM
ohhhhh Thats what makes the internet sooooo scarey I have had men who I was just conversing with---in a friendly manner---(no mention of feelings at all!)--who just immediatly thought they were internet dating with them---leaving mail after mail---declaring really weird love **** to me---I got a little unnerved---and it takes a hell of alot to unnerve Tammy!!! Thats one of the reasons I dont get to close to people on the internet---There was/is only one person and he is just to terrific for words!! Then there are those people who insist I am their best buddy and mail me everything goin on ----now what is that all about?---I have even had to block some!!!---This internet is a weird and crazy place and someone who i respect and admire from here once told me---and always reminds me----"Tammy the internet is not real!!" Food for thought

pmarco41 Joined Wed 04/30/08 Posts: 2163	Sun 09/19/10 03:08 PM
needy people...sometimes it becomes pathological...its really kind of sad...

Atlantis75 Joined Wed 12/03/08 Posts: 8581	Sun 09/19/10 06:39 PM
needy people...sometimes it becomes pathological...its really kind of sad... and they really don't welcome when I tell them that "hey listen, could you please cut back a bit?".. Suddenly I'm an -sshole, but I don't care...

PacificStar48 Joined Tue 10/02/07 Posts: 13764	Sun 09/19/10 07:09 PM
Yes will drive you up a wall fast. I like to write as much, probably more, than the next person but if it gets to feeling like I am having to report in FORGET IT. In person it is even worse. I went out with someone recently and after about an hour I could not get away fast enough. I like tactile people; warm hand shake, offering a hand getting out of the car, a casual hug as a greeting, even holding hands but I began to feel like I was trying to fend off and octopus. Stopped dead in front of me basiclly trying to force a kiss. No way. I don't know if guys endure this from women but yikes! Makes me think some are just weaned too young or something. Sure reenforces the best reason I know to always meet in a very public place. I am getting where I won't even anti up with a phone number until I meet them. Pain in the neck text-a-holics; plueeessse spare me.

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Sun 09/19/10 07:10 PM
Ever felt like, you make a connection with someone..not much but just talking and chatting, exchanging pictures and just being friendly. You may even talk about possible how you like him or her..but nothing big and the other goes NUTS on you? Getting flooded with messages and mails and whatnot..and you are interested but it's just too much and too quickly and the other one is playing an emotional game on you, like if you don't answer each mails he or she starts making conspiracy theories how you are pushing her away etc?? And eventually THIS what starts driving you away, with you hands up slowly making steps backward to increase the distance, but at the same time you still getting these emotional outbursts from the other and now you start actually feel guilty about the whole thing? Hmm? strictly hypothetical? lol yeah,, that kind of sucks,,,

agbbieannie Joined Thu 02/21/08 Posts: 942	Sun 09/19/10 07:12 PM
needy people...sometimes it becomes pathological...its really kind of sad... red flag red flag....... needy is the key word. move on

Goofball73 Joined Mon 11/05/07 Posts: 33913	Sun 09/19/10 08:38 PM Edited by Goofball73 on Sun 09/19/10 08:39 PM
Like sands through the hourglass....so are the days of our lives.....

Suzanne20 Joined Thu 11/15/07 Posts: 9261	Sun 09/19/10 09:05 PM
I like getting the messages that say "Hi, I just wanted to get to know you better and maybe we can talk and be friends...ok?...love you!" Or that basic thing in different words.

leveller1 Joined Thu 07/29/10 Posts: 78	Mon 09/20/10 04:39 AM
Amusing thought - but I have always warned friends off internet dating. Seemed to me that all they ever got was someone several spanners short of a full tool kit. Worse still - they never seemed to listen to the advice - even after one bad experience after another. Guess the key is indeed 'needy' here: (as one or two friends of mine genuinely are) This site is different to the average in so much as it offers talk boards like this. It also seems (although I am relatively new here) to be more about connections and friendship in the first instance - rather than just full on dating. The truth is that you really do need to be careful when it comes to the net. There are a lot of damaged individuals out there - some of whom will grab at any sign of friendship - like a drowning person grabs at drift-wood. Even being very clear with them regarding your motives - wants - wishes etc is unlikely to work; simply because being lonely can produce such an all consuming need.

bigojockey Joined Fri 06/25/10 Posts: 72	Mon 09/20/10 06:23 AM
Ever felt like, you make a connection with someone..not much but just talking and chatting, exchanging pictures and just being friendly. You may even talk about possible how you like him or her..but nothing big and the other goes NUTS on you? Getting flooded with messages and mails and whatnot..and you are interested but it's just too much and too quickly and the other one is playing an emotional game on you, like if you don't answer each mails he or she starts making conspiracy theories how you are pushing her away etc?? And eventually THIS what starts driving you away, with you hands up slowly making steps backward to increase the distance, but at the same time you still getting these emotional outbursts from the other and now you start actually feel guilty about the whole thing? Hmm? just my thoughts on this.seems to me that to keep from getting to the point where you feel guilty you should let them know at the first sign of them going NUTS as you call it.i,m sure you see or feel it coming and i just think that a lot of people don,t communicate their feelings because they don,t want to hurt the other persons feelings and this lack of communication is what leads to these type situations.like barney says nip it,nip it in the bud.

bigojockey Joined Fri 06/25/10 Posts: 72	Mon 09/20/10 06:54 AM
Amusing thought - but I have always warned friends off internet dating. Seemed to me that all they ever got was someone several spanners short of a full tool kit. Worse still - they never seemed to listen to the advice - even after one bad experience after another. Guess the key is indeed 'needy' here: (as one or two friends of mine genuinely are) This site is different to the average in so much as it offers talk boards like this. It also seems (although I am relatively new here) to be more about connections and friendship in the first instance - rather than just full on dating. The truth is that you really do need to be careful when it comes to the net. There are a lot of damaged individuals out there - some of whom will grab at any sign of friendship - like a drowning person grabs at drift-wood. Even being very clear with them regarding your motives - wants - wishes etc is unlikely to work; simply because being lonely can produce such an all consuming need. i,m kinda new here too.just wanted to disagree with the part about being clear with them is unlikely to work.if you are open and honest with people about your motives,wants and wishes they may be dissapointed if they were hoping for more.but by being honest in your communication you will be letting them closer to the real you which is what lonely people need(to feel close with another person).being honest with someone is like the drift-wood,it might just keep someone afloat until a boat comes along.not sure if i,m talking about other people or just me.

Mikey117 Joined Mon 11/20/06 Posts: 23736	Mon 09/20/10 07:02 AM
I had that happpenearly this year, met a lady and we talked alot. then it became "why didnt U call me?" she expected to be called at the same times every day and then it became "I dont want U to do this and that" and that was it!! I dont liked being backed into a corner by someone I hhave never met!!

Gossipmpm Joined Tue 03/03/09 Posts: 19414	Mon 09/20/10 07:23 AM
OHHHHH do I know how that feels.... Had one of them too!!!

leveller1 Joined Thu 07/29/10 Posts: 78	Mon 09/20/10 07:56 AM Edited by leveller1 on Mon 09/20/10 07:57 AM
Amusing thought - but I have always warned friends off internet dating. Seemed to me that all they ever got was someone several spanners short of a full tool kit. Worse still - they never seemed to listen to the advice - even after one bad experience after another. Guess the key is indeed 'needy' here: (as one or two friends of mine genuinely are) This site is different to the average in so much as it offers talk boards like this. It also seems (although I am relatively new here) to be more about connections and friendship in the first instance - rather than just full on dating. The truth is that you really do need to be careful when it comes to the net. There are a lot of damaged individuals out there - some of whom will grab at any sign of friendship - like a drowning person grabs at drift-wood. Even being very clear with them regarding your motives - wants - wishes etc is unlikely to work; simply because being lonely can produce such an all consuming need. i,m kinda new here too.just wanted to disagree with the part about being clear with them is unlikely to work.if you are open and honest with people about your motives,wants and wishes they may be dissapointed if they were hoping for more.but by being honest in your communication you will be letting them closer to the real you which is what lonely people need(to feel close with another person).being honest with someone is like the drift-wood,it might just keep someone afloat until a boat comes along.not sure if i,m talking about other people or just me. I agree with you absolutely - I wasn't suggesting you should not be open and honest with them, just warning that this will not always prevent the onset of obsessiveness.

EquusDancer Joined Sun 04/05/09 Posts: 6281	Mon 09/20/10 08:21 AM
Obsessive. Yep. Had that happen. The octopus guy too. And when I told him to back off, he would sit and sulk. 10 minutes later he tried it again. That lasted a day. See ya, and gone.

Atlantis75 Joined Wed 12/03/08 Posts: 8581	Mon 09/20/10 03:51 PM
Obsessive. Yep. Had that happen. The octopus guy too. And when I told him to back off, he would sit and sulk. 10 minutes later he tried it again. That lasted a day. See ya, and gone. Don't mess with Kendra...she is gonna b..slap you so hard, you gonna be orbiting the Earth with the rest of the space junk.