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Topic: The Total Package
spiritfilled24's photo
Tue 01/04/11 09:45 AM
In all the relationships I have had so far,I could never find that perfect match.You either have the guy who is hard working,caring,has money,great with kids,eh....alright in bed and did stuff around the house that needed to be done.But he never left love notes in the morning before he went to work,never bought flowers just because you're his better half,never took you out for dinner,wasn't adventurous,spontaneous or a Go getter.But then,you have the guy who does all the poetry writing,makes love to you so incredibly it blows your mind,makes you feel special every moment that you live and shows you off to the world because you make him That happy.But he can't keep a job,has little to no education,lives at home with his parents,has no money...well you get it.Is there any guy out there that IS the TOTAL PACKAGE?!!!?sad huh

newarkjw's photo
Tue 01/04/11 09:48 AM
Hell yea! I'm alright in bed and live with my parents........smokin

Ruth34611's photo
Tue 01/04/11 09:48 AM
No one is perfect. And, a lot of men show love by taking care of you...not by being outwardly romantic. It's actually a more sincere expression of love, in my opinion.

spiritfilled24's photo
Tue 01/04/11 09:57 AM

No one is perfect. And, a lot of men show love by taking care of you...not by being outwardly romantic. It's actually a more sincere expression of love, in my opinion.

You think?....See I thought about that too but to me it's just like saying 'Love doesn't exist' or 'Settle for less' I want to believe that there can be a relationship where the both of you can lay there and look at each other for hours with out saying a word or making each other feel like the most important person in the world.I believe that we could have the fairytale relationship....does that make me stupid or a hopeless romantic?lol

Ruth34611's photo
Tue 01/04/11 10:05 AM


No one is perfect. And, a lot of men show love by taking care of you...not by being outwardly romantic. It's actually a more sincere expression of love, in my opinion.

You think?....See I thought about that too but to me it's just like saying 'Love doesn't exist' or 'Settle for less' I want to believe that there can be a relationship where the both of you can lay there and look at each other for hours with out saying a word or making each other feel like the most important person in the world.I believe that we could have the fairytale relationship....does that make me stupid or a hopeless romantic?lol


Not stupid, but a bit unrealistic. I know that sounds cynical, but it's not. Finding someone who truly loves you is much more valuable than finding someone who fits into a mold of your idea of a fairytale. Feelings are fleeting. They change over time. It's just what they do. If you are relying on another person to make you happy, you will always be disappointed. Your source of happiness needs to come from within yourself.

It's a huge amount of pressure on a human being to be responsible for someone else's happiness. And, in the long run, it's not possible anyway. Find someone you love because of who they are as a person...not because of how they make you feel.

Ash36's photo
Tue 01/04/11 10:09 AM
Hmm.. Perfect guy.! Sounds like i have heard it before..! Every girl has a perfect guy for her but other girls have different views about the same guy..! The guy who has all characters wished by a spefic girl is the perfect guy for her..!!!

TxsGal3333's photo
Tue 01/04/11 10:18 AM
I just don't understand how so many want the total package yet have so many flaws themselves??????????

We can not expect in life what we can not give ourselves so to speak.

Perfect is only in books and movies......

Heck even Fairy Tales have their bad parts with the good......actually most Fairy Tales are based on two people that are from two different worlds but in the end love prevails......whoa

If you find that special one that the chemistry is there. It is all about opening our minds and our hearts to the one before us taking them as they are. One must be willing to give as much as they are receiving.....:thumbsup:

no photo
Tue 01/04/11 10:25 AM
Edited by Nitsua1984 on Tue 01/04/11 10:27 AM

I just don't understand how so many want the total package yet have so many flaws themselves??????????

We can not expect in life what we can not give ourselves so to speak.

Perfect is only in books and movies......

Heck even Fairy Tales have their bad parts with the good......actually most Fairy Tales are based on two people that are from two different worlds but in the end love prevails......whoa

If you find that special one that the chemistry is there. It is all about opening our minds and our hearts to the one before us taking them as they are. One must be willing to give as much as they are receiving.....:thumbsup:


This.

How many women are there out there who are the perfect package: smart, good job, cooks, cleans, ready to rock your world every night, sits and watches football with you, loves beer, when you go out with the guys she's cool with that, nurturing, kind, understanding.

They just aren't out there. You simply have to prioritize which flaws you don't mind living with.

P.S. I, for instance, have a little of everything you mentioned...I have a good job, decent money, great in bed, romantic, artistic...but I don't excel in any one area, and I'm cool with that and I expect girls to be cool with that too if they wanna get with me.

no photo
Tue 01/04/11 10:25 AM
Edited by tazzops on Tue 01/04/11 10:26 AM
Yeah what Kristi said. drinker

AGoodGuy1026's photo
Tue 01/04/11 10:29 AM

In all the relationships I have had so far,I could never find that perfect match.You either have the guy who is hard working,caring,has money,great with kids,eh....alright in bed and did stuff around the house that needed to be done.But he never left love notes in the morning before he went to work,never bought flowers just because you're his better half,never took you out for dinner,wasn't adventurous,spontaneous or a Go getter.But then,you have the guy who does all the poetry writing,makes love to you so incredibly it blows your mind,makes you feel special every moment that you live and shows you off to the world because you make him That happy.But he can't keep a job,has little to no education,lives at home with his parents,has no money...well you get it.Is there any guy out there that IS the TOTAL PACKAGE?!!!?sad huh


hmmm, love it not defined by "a list of stuff"... perhaps you have met that guy you describe but were not attracted to him, so you never got to know that he fulfilled "your list"...

that being said, have you tried dating a man who is left handed?... (seriously)...

$.02 drinker

fireflysgirl's photo
Tue 01/04/11 11:18 AM


I just don't understand how so many want the total package yet have so many flaws themselves??????????

We can not expect in life what we can not give ourselves so to speak.

Perfect is only in books and movies......

Heck even Fairy Tales have their bad parts with the good......actually most Fairy Tales are based on two people that are from two different worlds but in the end love prevails......whoa

If you find that special one that the chemistry is there. It is all about opening our minds and our hearts to the one before us taking them as they are. One must be willing to give as much as they are receiving.....:thumbsup:


This.

How many women are there out there who are the perfect package: smart, good job, cooks, cleans, ready to rock your world every night, sits and watches football with you, loves beer, when you go out with the guys she's cool with that, nurturing, kind, understanding.

They just aren't out there. You simply have to prioritize which flaws you don't mind living with.

P.S. I, for instance, have a little of everything you mentioned...I have a good job, decent money, great in bed, romantic, artistic...but I don't excel in any one area, and I'm cool with that and I expect girls to be cool with that too if they wanna get with me.


all of this & yes we do exist Nitsua-LOL! JK, I don't think I am all that and a bag of chips, but like you, well rounded and there are more people like us out there, somewhere!

The ex bf was amazed that I could go do a tune-up on our vehicle, work some horses, fix fence, and then come inside to clean up & make dinner! He seemed like a sweet caring guy for the most part and gave me massages daily, helped out tremendously here on the farm, did house chores, but had trouble keeping jobs, was very pessimistic & uneducated, had alcohol/drug issues, and the chemistry between us faded the first year we were together!

The ex hubby is in prison & i did not see him for nearly 5 years, but the chemistry & love between us never faded out! We have missed each other so much and I amazed at how easily both of us were able to forgive each other for things in our past and re-establish our friendship! Now, are ex cons considered "total package" material. Hell NO...he is not perfect, just perfect for me!

EquusDancer's photo
Tue 01/04/11 11:59 AM
There's also a simple thing as talking to the guy. Let him you know you enjoy the little things. I can't say as I'd dismiss someone supposedly that good just because he didn't do it. Do it for him and it might be a teaching thing for him.

no photo
Tue 01/04/11 12:23 PM
Im perfect!!! As in perv wise!!bigsmile :banana: pitchfork

Ruth34611's photo
Tue 01/04/11 12:45 PM

There's also a simple thing as talking to the guy. Let him you know you enjoy the little things. I can't say as I'd dismiss someone supposedly that good just because he didn't do it. Do it for him and it might be a teaching thing for him.


I also agree with this if you haven't already talked to him about it. I kind of assumed you had, but maybe not.

Men are not mind readers.

no photo
Tue 01/04/11 01:04 PM
Yeah, it seems that you may be able to find some of what you want in a person, but never can you find everything.

For instance, when I was much younger, I used to have relationships with very attractive (to me) women; but in the end, they always wanted to change me into a cardboard cutout of a domesticated farm animal.

So, for the sake of argument, I dated some subjectively less-attractive women, to see if they would be any different.

And some of them were great people, and some were intelligent, and witty, and caring, and wonderful conversationalists. But in the end, they always wanted to change me into a cardboard cutout of a domesticated farm animal.

So I finally figured out that I don't want to be a cardboard cutout of a domesticated farm animal, and I don't want to waste my time trying to get involved with women who are going to try to turn me into a cardboard cutout of a domesticated farm animal. But that's all they DO want, so it's a rather untenable position.


no photo
Tue 01/04/11 01:18 PM

No one is perfect. And, a lot of men show love by taking care of you...not by being outwardly romantic. It's actually a more sincere expression of love, in my opinion.


I'd have to disagree somewhat. I think some men take care of women because they think that's what they should do. And they think it makes them more manly to be able to take care of women.

Then again, he could just be more old fashioned I guess. I don't really look for the kind of man who has to take care of me, though.

RoamingOrator's photo
Tue 01/04/11 01:21 PM
Edited by RoamingOrator on Tue 01/04/11 01:23 PM
If we were perfect, we wouldn't be guys. Guys aren't perfect, we're messy, simplistic, and oblivious. I think you need to realistically take a look at the opposite sex.

Most of us only pay attention during the commercials or while we are on our way to the fridge, so if you're getting better than that, you've got a perfect one. We'll never measure up to the guys you read about in romance novels or see in movies.


:wink:

Gwendolyn2009's photo
Tue 01/04/11 11:00 PM
No, there is no man for you who is the total package: it is a useless quest.

Why? Because you make it so.

Ruth34611's photo
Wed 01/05/11 06:57 AM


No one is perfect. And, a lot of men show love by taking care of you...not by being outwardly romantic. It's actually a more sincere expression of love, in my opinion.


I'd have to disagree somewhat. I think some men take care of women because they think that's what they should do. And they think it makes them more manly to be able to take care of women.

Then again, he could just be more old fashioned I guess. I don't really look for the kind of man who has to take care of me, though.


Here is an example of what I mean.

You're sick in bed with the flu. Your man:

A. Leaves you a note saying "I love you" as he leaves for work.

B. Puts in a load of laundry and sets the cold medicine by the bed for you as he leaves for work.

The OP wants A and B. I think A and B are expressions of love. But, B takes quite a bit more effort.

bedlum1's photo
Wed 01/05/11 07:04 AM
Edited by bedlum1 on Wed 01/05/11 07:14 AM
I happen to be a poet, a musician, and old fashioned when it comes to treating a woman rightnot to mention I can tie the **** in knots with my tongue...:wink: devil
I live at my own place ,keep it clean, and can cook pretty damn good...so yeah I'd say there are some out there...

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