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Topic: Should standards EVER Be lowered?
no photo
Mon 02/28/11 07:17 PM

unless you're a Philadelphia Eagles fan
Philadelphia Eagles. Football, right?

artlo that much need for tutoring kinda kills the moodlaugh :tongue:

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Mon 02/28/11 07:23 PM
I've decided not to lower mine anymore. That's how I wound up married.


msharmony's photo
Tue 03/01/11 01:50 AM
lol,,,,u guys are funny

axl_rose40's photo
Tue 03/01/11 02:04 AM

If you have "standards" or prerequisites, you have them.

If you lower them you will never be happy.



a standard is a standard...lower it and it will be a sub-standard slaphead ill

no photo
Tue 03/01/11 03:21 AM

I know the idea of having 'standards' is subjective. Some people would call those mandatory requirements standards and others would include mere preferences.
IF one has mandatory requirements(for whatever reason), do you think they can be happy with someone that doesnt quite live up to those requirements.
For example, say one person REQUIRES another be a red sox fan. Then they meet someone who knows nothing about sports and would rather read a book, but everything else clicks.
Would that person who loves red sox, have to change their life to include a LITTLE LESS of what they love in order to truly share a life with this other person who knows nothing about sports? If they did so, do you think they would truly be HAPPY?
What do you think should never be given up for a relationship and what things do you think should be negotiable....
my personal opinion is that love is a rare jewel, when we find it, all things should be negotiable EXCEPT those which diminish who we are spiritually( like, a musician shouldnt STOP performing and loving their music, and an intellect shouldnt have to feign ignorance or stop reading ,,,etc,,,)



Two people in love dosen't really have to meet up same standards for them to be happy.It can still work out if they agreed on maintaning their various standards.For example i have seen two lovers,a medical doctor and a lawyer.One dosen't have to give up his/her standard to be with the other,if one ask the other to do so,then he/she has no love for such person.They only need true love.

RainbowTrout's photo
Tue 03/01/11 06:20 AM
I think all inalienable rights should be preserved in a relationship. But then I am an American and that is my prerogative. Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness mean a lot to me. I mean most businesses that enter into agreement which each other usually have this disclaimer of all rights reserved. My last wife's complaint with her former boyfriend was that he didn't let her have any friends. We both agreed that we liked having friends. His dominion over her was relinquished when she stood up to him. Of course, he didn't leave her house because that would be admitting defeat. But we took her away from that environment and she flourished in an atmosphere of freedom quite nicely as any rose would do. Let freedom reign.:smile:

TxsGal3333's photo
Tue 03/01/11 08:51 AM
The way I see it we all have our preference of what we are looking for. There are certain things that we look for within another that are high in priority that we will not bend on. But then there are things that we can met in the middle on with someone....So it is all up to what each person can come to terms with when with someone else...

For me I will not change when it comes to rudeness or one looking down on me. But........even though I'm not into sports if they love sports then hey let them enjoy their time I will either join in with them or find something for me to do......It is all about finding that happy medium.....not on what you would settle for....noway

j3ss1ka's photo
Tue 03/01/11 08:54 AM
I go by the saying "If you dont stand for something, you will fall for anything" ya, could be why im still single...

EquusDancer's photo
Tue 03/01/11 10:08 AM
Tried it, wasn't worth it. I think if you are willing to compromise, it will automatically happen, and doesn't really fall on your list of musts/will not compromise.

Kids, animals, health issues and family have to be important enough not to compromise on.

mrheartfelt's photo
Tue 03/01/11 10:56 AM


Standards and morals make you who you are.They ground you and make your life worth living. If you compromise either of those, think of what it will do to your life as you know it. Of course, it is a reality that some people will never change and that comes with the person. If you lower your standards, your life will probably suffer.JMO.

paul1217's photo
Tue 03/01/11 03:51 PM
Having standards is great place to start, but you also have to have realistic standards. I would love to date a 25 year old super model, and I could set all kinds of standards about looks, age body type etc. I would however spend the rest of my life alone and probably broke from trying to impress the young ladies.

Everyone has key traits that we are drawn toward, whether we realize and admit it or not. Everyone, man or woman, is attracted to certain physical qualities in a partner and therefore in most dating situations a lot of people will be dismissed based on physical attributes alone.

Most of the strongest, longest lasting relationships I know of began with people who didn't start off looking for someone to date. They got to know each other through common interest, work or other settings without the pressure of a potential romance looming over head. They became friends, then close friends, then best friends, and then when they least expect it they realize they're in love.

slaphead slaphead Ok, so I'm a hopeless romantic, destined to spend the rest of my life watching my best friends fall in love with some A.. who inevitably treats them like crap. Then they come looking to me for a shoulder to cry on until they find the next one.
frustrated frustrated oops offtopic

Keep those standards high, your prince, or dream girl is right around the corner.rofl rofl rofl

no photo
Tue 03/01/11 03:56 PM
But don't you think it's possible to have some standards that are just plain stupid?

paul1217's photo
Tue 03/01/11 04:01 PM

But don't you think it's possible to have some standards that are just plain stupid?


We are talking about the Human Race right?






Off course people will have stupid standards. You want proof, check out prime time TV, or read the paper, the news is full of proof that people have a lot of stupid standards. ie. Politicians.slaphead rofl

Ladylid2012's photo
Tue 03/01/11 04:02 PM
Everything is open for discussion...
It's all about compromise, most just
don't want to budge but seem to expect
the other to so.

Lowering your standards would be more like to settle...
none of us should ever settle. As we get older we seem to
have more 'stuff' to be open to compromise about,
makes it tough.

There are a few areas I wouldn't even put on the table for discussion...

no photo
Tue 03/01/11 04:12 PM

But don't you think it's possible to have some standards that are just plain stupid?


Who gets to decide what's "stupid"?

I don't understand a lot of people's standards, and I know they certainly don't understand mine. Doesn't make anybody right or wrong. We just have different priorities.


soufiehere's photo
Tue 03/01/11 04:14 PM

Nothing should be given up.
Everything must be negotiable.
There is no conflict between these two statements.
In the course of history every conceivable relationship has been tried and successfully too. There are 3 billion people on earth. There are literally hundreds of millions of great matches for everyone. So have an open mind and an adventurous spirit and live life to the fullest.
Find someone special or many special friends and share with them.
You do not have to compromise on who you are and you can be flexible
and accommodating without subordinating your needs as long as you
learn to share effectively.

Where did you lose nearly 4 billion people?

(The world population is the total population of humans on the planet Earth. An automatically updated daily calculation by the United States Census Bureau[1] estimates the current figure to be approximately 6,902,900,000. )

no photo
Tue 03/01/11 07:05 PM


Nothing should be given up.
Everything must be negotiable.
There is no conflict between these two statements.
In the course of history every conceivable relationship has been tried and successfully too. There are 3 billion people on earth. There are literally hundreds of millions of great matches for everyone. So have an open mind and an adventurous spirit and live life to the fullest.
Find someone special or many special friends and share with them.
You do not have to compromise on who you are and you can be flexible
and accommodating without subordinating your needs as long as you
learn to share effectively.

Where did you lose nearly 4 billion people?

(The world population is the total population of humans on the planet Earth. An automatically updated daily calculation by the United States Census Bureau[1] estimates the current figure to be approximately 6,902,900,000. )


they're hiding in the subway waiting to be teleported - I think to Jersey

no photo
Tue 03/01/11 07:16 PM
8 Advantages of lowering your dating standards: :tongue: laugh

1. You don't really care if they stand you up.smokin
2. You can spend your time feeling superior.glasses
3. If you get dumped, you can think.. Good, he was not good enough anyway.
4. Sometimes you just want to go slumming.
5. A free meal or movie or what ever.
6. You weren't doing anything else.
7. Just use him for hot steamy sex.
8. People will think "What does she see in him" rather than the other way around as usual.

unsure's photo
Tue 03/01/11 08:09 PM
I don't think I would ever lower my standards but IF someone like sports that I didn't like...I would work with it. There always has to be some give and take in any relationship that is going to work.
There are a few things that I won't put up with, IF someone does certain things, its just not for me.
I think you have to weigh what is really going to break a relationship and does it really mean that much to you? IF SO...DON'T SETTLE BECAUSE ITS NOT WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN.

no photo
Tue 03/01/11 08:22 PM
I don't think I would ever lower my standards but IF someone like sports that I didn't like...I would work with it. There always has to be some give and take in any relationship that is going to work.
There are a few things that I won't put up with, IF someone does certain things, its just not for me.
I think you have to weigh what is really going to break a relationship and does it really mean that much to you? IF SO...DON'T SETTLE BECAUSE ITS NOT WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN.
I think that's pretty close. My point is that one can have a set of standards that one THINKS are important, especially if you're young, only to find that somebody can come along and set them all upside down. I think people need to be prepared to be flexible.

For a while, I said that I would never allow myself to be attracted to a woman who is politically Conservative. I've interacted with women who have given me second thoughts.

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