Ok. So, you meet someone and you feel you like this person. Now, when you get to know them, you learn that you have several "differences". Things that you don't agree with, or food types you like, or anything. There are just many differences between the two of you. So, the question that I pose here is this. How many of these so called "differences" could you tolerate? Or how many would be too many for you to consider a relationship? Or do differences not mean a thing to you, as you feel that if you both like each other (or love one another) enough that you can manage them?

I ask this cause my friend and I were discussing this today. She tried to make a relationship work where there were many differences between her and him, but she felt she could manage them. He did too. It didn't work. So, what say you Mingle2 members?

As long as our differences do not conflict with my morals and values, it doesn't matter to me. I would take our differences as more of an adveture to try new things perhaps.

But, if a relationship doesn't work, I'm not going to try to force it to work.

what kind of rack are we talking here?

Dolly Parton

How the differences effect the success or failure of a relationship really depends on the people involved. Some people are able to handle differences, some people aren't. It doesn't make either wrong or right, but if you get two people in one relationship with a lot of differences and one can handle them, the other cannot, it creates a bad situation.

I myself, have been in this situation. I'm a fairly open-minded guy and can usually deal with differences, mainly because I know that there is no way I am going to find a woman that is perfectly in tune with my views/beliefs/morals...etc. My last relationship was with a woman that didn't like certain things about me, and couldn't handle them. The problem in that situation is that I'm not going to change who I am for anybody, including a woman I love. If you fall in love with me, it should be as is.

So, a simplified answer to your question would be, the only difference that I think effects a relationship is a person's indifference level to differences.

Mind you, this is only my opinion on the matter.

What kind of differences? You mention food type, but that doesn't seem to be a huge deal if other things work out. It would really depend on how big/important these differences are. If they were little things, I don't see it as an issue.

I agree 100%.

Well, seems that religious beliefs, political stance, abortion....those seem to be the big ones. But simple issues like one person smokes weed while the other doesn't can become a problem down the road. I have seen it happen.

It really depends. Hard core Alcoholic, No way! Hooter the size of Texas? I am not a fan of huge Tatas but I can overlook that. Isn't exactly bright? Well if she is a good person I can over look that. Smart as hell but got her nose in the air? Hard to overlook but not impossible provided it can be kept in check. Nose in the air and a total Beyatch? No dice! Drama Queen? Forget it! Fat, ugly, and pissed off? WTF would I want anything to do with that???? I am not a Masochist! She likes to give love nips? Well, I bite back!

It really depends on the combination.

Religion is a big thing. I couldn't date someone who was very religious. As for politics, it could be a big deal, but might not be. I used to be into someone who was pretty conservative and I'm not conservative at all. It was never an issue for the most part.

i'm out!

See, I can see some hot, and heated political debates leading to some hot, and heated sex. I'm all for that.

Something like a difference in food types is negligible, as long as she doesn't try to get me to eat broccoli or something.

If it's along those lines -- we like different TV shows, etc. -- it's just not all that important.

When it gets to differences in lifestyle or agenda, then it can become problematic. Hopefully, this would all be addressed before the relationship progressed to the point where it could ever even become an issue, but I have found that people tend to hide their real intentions if they feel they have an opportunity to change someone.

Make up sex, proof that God expected us to have differences...

That, and some people just say what the other wants to hear, so that they can get with that person. They will hope for the best, even trick themselves into believing that the difference they gave in to won't become a problem. But it normally does.

IF,,their chemistry is ALL THAT,,,THEY can over-come almost complete opposites?

IF,,its not that strong of a unite,,then small ones can cause them to split?

I have some really simple eating, in the way of foods,,
and no-one has ever liked my plain ways,,BUT many don't let THAT stand in the way of US being able to maintain being together.

WE just come to know each others likes and dis-likes and we still eat and enjoy that, and us....

I've seen couples who one is Christian and one is not,,and they still work..

So really,,its in their bond that not only they FEEL they have,,but also the bond THEY REALLY HAVE inside,,because MANY here and in life,,do not fully speak-out as to their true inner self thoughts,,,because we do this,,,like Do I look good in these jeans,,,or the Skirt better,,,, WE DUDES,,make THAT FIT,,we say well,,I kind of like ya in the skirt as it shows me your beautiful legs,,,,,wink,BUT,,then again,,,if we don't want all the guys to follow us around staring,,,I'd say the jeans were sweet!!!!
So its all give and take but we DON'T GIVE ALL,,or TAKE ALL,,just enough most times as needed,,,

Goof, that has been my (endlessly repeated) experience, for sure -- they tell me what I want to hear, I want to believe them, a relationship begins, and, three months down the road, the "Now-it's-time-to-change-him" agenda kicks in, and the relationship ends.

Frankly, it's made me a little cynical about women. In the same way that the sun is a little hot.

The religion issue would be a big deal for me in a relationship. I myself am not religious and I do avoid relationships with people who are. Mostly, because I wouldn't want to be pressured into something I'm not comfortable with. Like wise I would imagine that it would be difficult for someone who is religious to have a partner who is not. This exact issue was one of the main reasons for my parent's divorce. My dad wanted us all to go to church every Sunday and my mom would gripe and complain about going even though she did end up going most of the time. That friction would always lead to an argument later on in the day without fail.

I so agree with that