So how do you all feel about independence when in a relationship. Are you there 24/7 for your significant other or do you expect "me time" for guys/girls night out, seperate vacations, or just daily expectations of allowing independence.

Yes there are two independent people in each and every relationship, but what are your expectations of "couple time"?

If I were dating I would only have time for couple time once a week at the most.

Yep I agree with that statement.

if we are really hot for each other - as often as possible togetherness

Okay, perhaps I posed the question a little bit broadly. What is your indepence level if you were to be in a living together situation?

I don't like independance in a relationship. If that's the case, whats the point of it other than a booty call. I want 24/7 whether in person, call, text, internet, and everything else. Thats what it means to be in a relationship. Where people get the idea that they can be in a relationship and go for a whole day without speaking is beyond me.

Then you don't know what a woman really wants.

That is, to be in charge of her own life.

I hope your aren't a control freak.

like in can he go out with the boyz and me with the gals?


I don't think we can define those things for each other as adults - especially older adults who have been living alone & independently for some time before cohabitating

I would hope he would want to be with me moreso than the buds most of the time


and it's not cuz I'm possessive it's because time together especially alone time is needed to build intimacy and by the time we go to work- go to the gym -run errands etc there isn't much time left

so I'd be looking for someone who'd want to spend most of it with me but I would not ask him to as I want no one with me who does not wish to be here

I do not think if he were the bar hopping type we'd end up together anyway - looking for more maturity than that. I'd be looking for a man who really likes being with me and wants that also in the first place...

and yanno I might mention the old standby: There will be sex here at 9pm every evening .....whether you are here or not

does that answer you?

I guess it is my age, but I always thought that there were different phases of any relationship that were steps to how much time is spent with one and another. Dating- to me is just that, dating. He has his time, she has her time and they get together for the date. If this dating continues to the next phase, a commited relationship, there is a move to more time together, because it is wanted by both parties. If and when it gets to the point of being significant other, you had better like each other enough to want to spend time with that person or why would you want to stay with that person. Isn't part of the reason you want to have a relationship?

Personally, separate vacations? Not a chance. Guys/gals night out, sure, every once in a while. I was separated from my finace by work and school. I was glad for every minute we got to spend together when we got home. I cherish those minutes now.

Well I make my own schedule. We will schedule our time together according to both our schedules.

"When are you free?" sort of thing.

I hate guys who try to make my schedule for me.

I agree and in my answer I was referring to that stage of a committed, cohabitating relationship

separate vacays are death to a marriage - usually - I've seen a few exceptions but not many

Each in charge of our own lives for quite some time... have been living alone for sometime and do our thing...now considering moving in, but don't want to put demands on each other....that is all.

We have our moments and cherish that, but too much too soon may put unnecessary demands on a relationship.

Plese peope, do not read too much in to this. It was just a simple question, asking for opinions.

I agree that too much to soon is not good - that's why I clarified that I was talking about a relationship that has got to that stage

but if u aren't ready to share your dwelling everyday and the idea makes u feel crowded it might be too soon to move in

so I do basically agree w/ u

Thank you sweetest. He has expressed that he wants to maintain the guy flost trip, which i have no problem with....and he understands that i travel home to be with my girls....I was just putting out a feeler to see if this would be out of the ordinary.

nah - and if it works for u who cares?

And to be in charge of her man's, too.

I could never do that. There is no way I would want her hanging in my neck all the time, neither I expect her wanting me the same.

I would run and then jump into a cliff screaming "please leave me alone for minute!"

hmmmm atlantis

that's kinda sad

do you have an overly possessive ex?

this struck me as funny. i was seeing someone and he would follow me around to the point of if i turned, i'd bump into him. it drove me crazy.

i have a greater appreciation for someone when i get opportunities to miss them. so, yes, i like my time, his time and we time, and quality over quantity. and to me, just melting together at the end of the long day i consider quality time.