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| Topic: Do Women Want To Be Saved | |
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What was wrong about me that needed saving? I want a partner, not a savior. Balance each other in our weak moments, stand strong together, live, laugh, love type of thing. |
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Not a frigging chance do I want to be saved by a man. The very thought makes me want to puke.   Is that because we are going to expect something back? duh; Of course you men expect something back. The price is too high for me. |
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by a man or do we just like the idea? 50 and long time single myself, I can't imagine giving up my independence. I really think we just like the idea that someone would actually be willing to 'save' and take care' of us, not really ever do it. I think some women do look to be saved by a man. Some men also look to be saved by a woman. I've seen both cases. Personally, I'm looking for a woman that can save herself. |
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I've always had a bit of a "rescuer complex" and it's something I have noticed a lot of women seem to find attractive -- or, at the very least, useful.
It does create something of an imbalance in a relationship scenario, though. They expect you to solve all their problems, and you're not allowed to have any problems of your own. One of my psych instructors told me that the real downside in being the "rescuer" is that, once you've successfully "rescued" them, they feel the need to move on because now your very presence reminds them of their past problems. I don't know if this is true or not, but it does seem rational. |
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Being rescued and rescuing is not a real bad thing if it is for real and not just a game being played.
I was rescued once on my way home from Denver with a truck load of canvases I had ordered from China. They were falling off my truck and I desperately needed a rope because my flimsy twine had broken. The gas station I had pulled into had nothing, not even duck tape. A couple of nice looking men (really nice looking!) came up and asked if I needed help. I said yes, and asked them if they had a rope I could buy from them. One guy smiled and said sure! He went to his car and pulled out this brand new red nylon rope and came over and the two of them tied down my load. I was so thankful I wanted to pay them $50.00 for that rope and they would not take it. That load of canvases stayed put too. They tied it on really good. They were my heros. My rescuers. I did not even get their names. |
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I don't need to be saved, been getting along fine in the world (and yes sometimes actually very well) but it would be really nice to have someone in my life that just liked being in the day to day successes/struggels with me.
Someone to express what I think is not all but one of the best parts of who I am; being feminine. Is it likely that a good man in my life would be considered a saving grace in my life? You bet! Just wonder why having a partner that you love and like got such a bad rap in life. I get it is obvious that marriage is not always great but over all those who even had less than "perfect" mates still seemed to have survived and moved forward in the world. They had jobs, children, friends, and accumlated a lot of stuff. At least enough to fight over when they did get divorced. |
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Not a frigging chance do I want to be saved by a man. The very thought makes me want to puke. Is that because we are going to expect something back? duh; Of course you men expect something back. The price is too high for me. 
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Not a frigging chance do I want to be saved by a man. The very thought makes me want to puke. Is that because we are going to expect something back? duh; Of course you men expect something back. The price is too high for me.  |
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Not a frigging chance do I want to be saved by a man. The very thought makes me want to puke. Is that because we are going to expect something back? duh; Of course you men expect something back. The price is too high for me. Well, then I am sure you will find some takers. 
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Not a frigging chance do I want to be saved by a man. The very thought makes me want to puke. Is that because we are going to expect something back? duh; Of course you men expect something back. The price is too high for me. Whenever someone starts talking about the "price" of a relationship I have to wonder if the concept of love has vanished and the concept of commerce or even worse slavery has appeared. |
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Not a frigging chance do I want to be saved by a man. The very thought makes me want to puke. Is that because we are going to expect something back? duh; Of course you men expect something back. The price is too high for me. Whenever someone starts talking about the "price" of a relationship I have to wonder if the concept of love has vanished and the concept of commerce or even worse slavery has appeared. There is always a price. |
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Many women needs to come out of the woodwork really. Stop with the " I want a long term COMMITMENT" and "I am looking for my soulmate" or "I need someone who will only pay attention to me 24/7". These are scary things for many men. Sure...20-30 years ago, it was all about getting married and sailing to the Bahamas and having 2-3 kids in a big family house with a dog and making sandwiches to guys who were watching baseball on TV. This isn't the same age. We are in a f-kd up society, where things don't work the same way, your "hubby" is checking out your best friend's boob shots on facebook when you aren't looking, or having a giant porn collection downloaded on his computer, where he gets his ideas what to try out on you at night. Not to mention the economy and unemployment and how women are afraid to get a guy, because he may acts like a parasite or vice versa, so let's drop this sugar coated BS about "meaningful" relationships and your "exclusive one-way ticket" guy you are looking for. I can almost guarantee, that girls who would say "hey I'm a single girl and I'm looking for guy who is gonna stay with me for a while and makes me sweat at night, but also makes me feel good, but otherwise leave me to be" - would get 1000 times more views than some politically correct " I am looking for a bright shinning knight who will save me from the dragons" -kinda garbage, which only scares men more than women claiming to be mystically empowered ghost hunter fairies.  I totally agree. Nothing is more off putting to me than a head line saying "looking for prince charming" or some variant. It makes me think they are looking for something unreasonable that I could never live up to. They will be the same one complaining about fake guys not living up to their promises or being really nice and turning into a psycho. What do you expect when you are looking for a fairy tale? The guy that thinks he is prince charming is usually far from it. |
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Many women needs to come out of the woodwork really. Stop with the " I want a long term COMMITMENT" and "I am looking for my soulmate" or "I need someone who will only pay attention to me 24/7". These are scary things for many men. Sure...20-30 years ago, it was all about getting married and sailing to the Bahamas and having 2-3 kids in a big family house with a dog and making sandwiches to guys who were watching baseball on TV. This isn't the same age. We are in a f-kd up society, where things don't work the same way, your "hubby" is checking out your best friend's boob shots on facebook when you aren't looking, or having a giant porn collection downloaded on his computer, where he gets his ideas what to try out on you at night. Not to mention the economy and unemployment and how women are afraid to get a guy, because he may acts like a parasite or vice versa, so let's drop this sugar coated BS about "meaningful" relationships and your "exclusive one-way ticket" guy you are looking for. I can almost guarantee, that girls who would say "hey I'm a single girl and I'm looking for guy who is gonna stay with me for a while and makes me sweat at night, but also makes me feel good, but otherwise leave me to be" - would get 1000 times more views than some politically correct " I am looking for a bright shinning knight who will save me from the dragons" -kinda garbage, which only scares men more than women claiming to be mystically empowered ghost hunter fairies. I totally agree. Nothing is more off putting to me than a head line saying "looking for prince charming" or some variant. It makes me think they are looking for something unreasonable that I could never live up to. They will be the same one complaining about fake guys not living up to their promises or being really nice and turning into a psycho. What do you expect when you are looking for a fairy tale? The guy that thinks he is prince charming is usually far from it. IME...my relationships have been that way. When you aren't perfect you are a peice of chit! Where's prince charming...I wanna steal his horse
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Many women needs to come out of the woodwork really. Stop with the " I want a long term COMMITMENT" and "I am looking for my soulmate" or "I need someone who will only pay attention to me 24/7". These are scary things for many men. Sure...20-30 years ago, it was all about getting married and sailing to the Bahamas and having 2-3 kids in a big family house with a dog and making sandwiches to guys who were watching baseball on TV. This isn't the same age. We are in a f-kd up society, where things don't work the same way, your "hubby" is checking out your best friend's boob shots on facebook when you aren't looking, or having a giant porn collection downloaded on his computer, where he gets his ideas what to try out on you at night. Not to mention the economy and unemployment and how women are afraid to get a guy, because he may acts like a parasite or vice versa, so let's drop this sugar coated BS about "meaningful" relationships and your "exclusive one-way ticket" guy you are looking for. I can almost guarantee, that girls who would say "hey I'm a single girl and I'm looking for guy who is gonna stay with me for a while and makes me sweat at night, but also makes me feel good, but otherwise leave me to be" - would get 1000 times more views than some politically correct " I am looking for a bright shinning knight who will save me from the dragons" -kinda garbage, which only scares men more than women claiming to be mystically empowered ghost hunter fairies. I totally agree. Nothing is more off putting to me than a head line saying "looking for prince charming" or some variant. It makes me think they are looking for something unreasonable that I could never live up to. They will be the same one complaining about fake guys not living up to their promises or being really nice and turning into a psycho. What do you expect when you are looking for a fairy tale? The guy that thinks he is prince charming is usually far from it. You can't be a prince, but at least you could attempt to be more charming. I find a lot of men who are not much to look at, overweight, not that charming and they are looking for little miss perfect. blah! |
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Not a frigging chance do I want to be saved by a man. The very thought makes me want to puke. Is that because we are going to expect something back? duh; Of course you men expect something back. The price is too high for me. Whenever someone starts talking about the "price" of a relationship I have to wonder if the concept of love has vanished and the concept of commerce or even worse slavery has appeared. There is always a price. Yep and when the price is losing who you are and what you love about life; then it is too high. Love simply isn't worth losing all that. |
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Edited by
Jeanniebean
on
Mon 05/23/11 01:22 PM
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The thing about love is that you can love someone and they can't do anything about it.
Someone can love you and you can't do anything about that. But when someone tells you they love you, and they expect you to return the favor, that is not love. That is a bargain. I love you, so you should love me back. That is why people shrink from others when they proclaim their love. What they are usually doing is asking you to enter into this bargain. Next time someone tells you they love you..... just say thank you. I have seen people who "confess" their love for you as if it is a revelation and they expect you to melt into their arms and surrender or to fall to the floor and worship them. They believe they are bestowing onto you, a great favor.... when you have loved them for years and they never knew it. |
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Edited by
AGoodGuy1026
on
Mon 05/23/11 01:27 PM
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(M. Jagger/K. Richards)
Is there nothing I can say Nothing I can do To change your mind I'm so in love with you You're too deep in You can't get out You're just a poor girl in a rich man's house Yeah, baby, I'm crying over you Don't you know promises were never made to keep? Just like the night, dissolve in sleep I'll be your savior, steadfast and true I'll come to your emotional rescue I'll come to your emotional rescue Yeah, the other night, crying Crying baby, yeah I'm crying Yeah I'm like a child baby I'm like a child baby Child yeah, I'm like a child, like a child Like a child You think you're one of a special breed You think that you're his pet Pekinese I'll be your savior, steadfast and true I'll come to your emotional rescue I'll come to your emotional rescue I was dreaming last night Last night I was dreaming How you'd be mine, but I was crying Like a child, yeah, I was crying Crying like a child You will be mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, all mine You could be mine, could be mine Be mine, all mine I come to you, so silent in the night So stealthy, so animal quiet I'll be your savior, steadfast and true I'll come to your emotional rescue I'll come to your emotional rescue Yeah, you should be mine, mine, whew Yes, you could be mine Tonight and every night I will be your knight in shining armour Coming to your emotional rescue You will be mine, you will be mine, all mine You will be mine, you will be mine, all mine I will be your knight in shining armour Riding across the desert on a fine Arab charger........ *sigh* yeah, some do... just like that! $.02
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I have saved enough men to have learned my lesson! No, I don't want to be saved, just cared for and about by an amazing guy.
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Many women needs to come out of the woodwork really. Stop with the " I want a long term COMMITMENT" and "I am looking for my soulmate" or "I need someone who will only pay attention to me 24/7". These are scary things for many men. Sure...20-30 years ago, it was all about getting married and sailing to the Bahamas and having 2-3 kids in a big family house with a dog and making sandwiches to guys who were watching baseball on TV. This isn't the same age. We are in a f-kd up society, where things don't work the same way, your "hubby" is checking out your best friend's boob shots on facebook when you aren't looking, or having a giant porn collection downloaded on his computer, where he gets his ideas what to try out on you at night. I'm sorry...I'm into being old fashioned I guess. I want someone that is going to tell me that they are going to stick around through thick and thin...not high tail it at the first sign of trouble or discontent. Just because our society is f-kd up doesn't mean that my morals are  . Not to mention the economy and unemployment and how women are afraid to get a guy, because he may acts like a parasite or vice versa, so let's drop this sugar coated BS about "meaningful" relationships and your "exclusive one-way ticket" guy you are looking for. Not my one way ticket...my ride is a two ticket deal. Meaningful...of course! I would not accept anything else  . I can almost guarantee, that girls who would say "hey I'm a single girl and I'm looking for guy who is gonna stay with me for a while and makes me sweat at night, but also makes me feel good, but otherwise leave me to be" - would get 1000 times more views than some politically correct " I am looking for a bright shinning knight who will save me from the dragons" -kinda garbage, which only scares men more than women claiming to be mystically empowered ghost hunter fairies. A sweat night? lol...that'd be nice; but when you get over that "age of reason" mark somehow sex becomes inferior to the more important things in life like being able to communicate effectively and have someone to take care of whom in return takes care of you. |
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wow, I really should get online more.
Lots of thoughts on the subject..... peace  |
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